DH never does any wrong in his eyes.
I am so tired of the crap of DH. I posted the first time here saying how I am trying to change my approach to my DD and the skids. Instead of yelling and reacting I am trying to calmly redirect them. The biggest obstacle is in the morning. My DD really procrastinates. She is not a morning person, just like her mommy! I usually have been yelling and it does not help, it just makes everyone's morning hell. So I have been telling DH over and over help me I am going to change, but I may need your help. We have talked about it and he agreed that when I hit my breaking point I will walk away and either he will take over and help or I will go back when I calm down. This morning I walked away to finish getting ready. All of a sudden he goes downstairs yelling at her cussing and getting his belt like he is going to hit her. I got pissed and told him let me take care of this. He just goes off on me saying I treat him like shit and he is tired of it. He does not get it!!!! I cannot say a WORD to his kids. If I do, they run to mommy and get their way. If I ever dare kindly and calmly told them to cut their crap out let alone CUSSED at them, OMG the world would end. But it is ok for him to do it to my DD. Just because he has been in her life since she was 3. No. It is not.
Yes he helps me discipline, but I do not agree with this. Like I said I am trying to get away from this. He tells me how horrible I am then he turns around and does it. WTF????
Then he grabs all his stuff for the day and leaves. He leaves me to get our 3 yo ready and take both of them and go to work. He does not have a regular job right now except for umpiring in the afternoon or helping his friend get his business going. So I tell him he is running away instead of dealing with the problem and solving it. Granted, I probably should not have said that, BUT...he yells in my face in front of the kids "We do not have to be married I am tired of your crap."
Niiiice. At least I admit my shortcomings. I admit I yell and I am trying to change it. He acts like he is perfect and is not at fault. I come up with solutions to the problem, he ignores them. We have been for over a year developing a schedule. I work with my DD on homework and bedtime, he takes our DD3. It has yet to happen. Usually he get home from Umpiring or helping his friend with his business and goes straight on the computer or watches tv.
So I should be really upset about this morning's events, him saying he is going to leave, but I am not. That is what scares me. I just think it is bs. He says it all the time then says I would never leave you, blah blah blah BS! I am not perfect. I have faults. I make mistakes. Sometimes big ones. But like I said at least I own up to it and I am TRYING to change it. It is when people act like they do nothing wrong and they have nothing to change I get pissed. Now I can see where the skids get it from.
Oh, and he was like this with his kids before I started yelling at mine. I used to get upset at him cussing at the kids. So he did not start after me, more like the other way around, I just yell more.
This is not healthy for
This is not healthy for anyone. Have you brought up family therapy? Have you gotten therapy yet? I know in your last post you said he wouldn't go, maybe he is scared to go, scared that he will hear that he needs to change to. Something has to give, this is not good.
"If I turn into another, Dig me up from under what is covering the better part of me" -Incubus
Trust me, I have thought
Trust me, I have thought this numerous times. He says "we" don't need therapy, just I do for anger management. No I have not gone, but I did get the number from my health plan to make an appointment. The one they had for me conflicted with my work schedule so I am waiting for them to call me back with another one. My medical plan makes me go to an "orientation" first and there are only certain time frames for this. I guess his thought is if I change and get better that is all that is needed. Sigh. I just don't want to go through another failed relationship.
We are both under a lot of stress with him losing his job last year, but it only seems to be getting worse.
He does not have a "regular" job outside the house, but he has unemployment plus a cash job as an umpire for baseball. He is trying to help his friend start his business and has gotten contracts set up. His friend said if he is able to get so many he will cut him in on partnership since we have no $$ to contribute, but in the meantime it is a strain.