Well tomorrow is Father's Day. So far DH and I have had a very nice and relaxing weekend. DS7 had a baseball game last night, and when DH was done coaching (and me watching of course!) DH and I got a round of golf in, then headed out for a late dinner and to pick up some things from the grocery store to get ready for our week of kids (they all come home next week) and to get DD14 some things as she leaves for bible camp tomorrow. That is the one saving grace...

BM texted DH asking "what time do the boys have to come back to you tomorrow?" DH responded by 10:00. I asked DH if he was going to church tomorrow. His response was we can if you want to. I informed him that I was going. Okay, then we will go too. I'm sure SS14 will be THRILLED that he gets brought back here only to get hauled out to church in the morning...but quite honestly, that kid desperately needs some morals and values and some christianity in his life! I drag him and the rest of the kids when they are with us on Sundays. My biokids don't mind going, even ask to go, but they've been raised a bit different than skids. I'm sure BM will start a new round of attack that "I dropped the boys off early and made them wake up and get up (more like made her and SS14 wake up and get up, SS12 is an early riser and BM has a big party plan for tonight I've been told), only for you to drag them to church right away?! If you wanted to go to church instead of be with your sons, you could have picked them up afterwards...they don't need to go!" Yes, this is the kind of BM I deal with. SS12 started attending summer bible camp last year with DD12 because he hears my daughters talk about all the fun they have away in the woods at camp for a week and he wanted to go too. I told him absolutely you can go if your dad says it's okay and if your mom agrees because I think camp might be during her week. Begrudgingly she let him attend...mind you it's $315 for him to attend, plus the incidentals we need to buy for him to go (bug spray, toiletries, a few new clothing items, etc) and it's a two hour trip to bring him each way but I gladly do it. Her question was, "what is he going to get out of it?" REALLY??? What is he going to get out of it?? Oh I don't know, some values, some religion, a moral compass?? Terrible qualities to obtain I know. I really wish I could get SS14 to go...he could definitely use it. I attended this camp as a child through my teenage years every summer, and there's a feeling just about entering camp that you can't explain. Peace, tranquility, love. It's an experience I will never forget and I love to have my children get. So...I'm sure there will be rants about church....and attitude from SS14...but nevertheless...we're going.

After church, I thought, well we can go out for brunch. Happy Father's Day DH. And then I can LEAVE!! Go and pick up DD14 and take a two hour cruise to camp, get her set up, and a two hour cruise home. The peace. The quiet. The ability to not have to deal with SS14. At some point tomorrow, DH is supposed to "command our family meeting" with SS14. Explain the way things are going to be. Explain the consequences. Explain the expectations. Explain what SS14 needs to do in order to start mending fences. This makes me nervous. Because if SS14 looks at the table and avoids eye contact. Does not make a sincere apology but a half assed mumbled one, that will not suffice for me...but I feel DH will say..."Okay!! He apologized! We're doing great!!" I think I may google and print out what I find regarding what a sincere apology consists of. I know I've seen it before. Eye contact. Stating what you did and why it was wrong. Saying I'm sorry and pledging to repair the relationship. I may have to take a look....

Although I am dreading this "family meeting" and the way it can go, I'm not sure if I'm more worried about having the meeting tomorrow...or DH avoiding the meeting tomorrow and saying well it's his first day back and it's Father's Day and I didn't want to ruin the day. To me...I don't care that it's Father's Day...and being a Father isn't always easy...and you don't get a vacation from it on that day when something so big is in the air. The elephant that will be in the room tomorrow I may find unbearable. I'm already stressing about the kid walking in the door. I'm going to bet he walks in and one of two things occur: A- he stands in the doorway looking down, shuffling his feet, while he waits for dad to bring him to grandma's house...because grandma, she makes everything better by condoning SS14's behavior and giving him treats and "oh you poor boy". Or B- he will walk in, walk right upstairs to his bedroom, shut the door and stay there. Or a combo of the two...once he realizes that dad isn't bringing him to his savior (grandma) he will most likely run right up the stairs.

Father's Day is stressful already because of skids. Last year, we took them on a ride, exploring, went out to eat, spend a whole day doing stuff together...not ONCE during the day did EITHER of them say "Happy Father's day" DH was heartbroken. We brought the skids back to BM and later I texted her, please have the boys call their dad and say Happy Father's Day. DH's bday...same thing...only we were out of town on a hockey trip for SS14. On the way to the rink in the morning, one of SS's teammates was in our truck getting a ride to the rink and remembered it was coach's bday, and said "Hey coach!! Happy Birthday!!" SS14 sitting right next to the kid...stayed mute. Hadn't said a word all morning...still didn't say anything when teammate said something. I was FUMING! We got out of the truck, DH started walking in to the rink, I grabbed SS14 and said, "you BEST say Happy birthday to your dad. Do you even realize how RUDE and UNAPPRECIATIVE and just plain JERKISH you look right now for not even saying happy birthday to your dad!!?? How would you have liked it if on your bday last week, when you came down the stairs we all just IGNORED you and your bday...no bday breakfast...no happy bday...NOTHING!! You better wish your dad a happy birthday...it's pathetic that kids he coaches has said happy bday to him before his own son who has been with him all morning" Of course SS14 did make sure on the way to the rink to ask if we were going to go to the mall and walk around between games...and he wanted a new hat. I told him in the parking lot, "it's your dad's bday...I will buy you NOTHING. You had a bday last week, you got gifts, and today is your DAD's day...and after your behavior this morning...you don't get rewarded." Also had to send a text again to BM because SS12 wasn't answering the new phone he had or replying to text messages still at 9:00pm asking her to please have SS12 call his father and wish him happy bday. My three, face timed DH together right after we were done with the game to wish their stepdad happy birthday. After DD14 had texted me asking me to let her know when the game was over because her and her sibs wanted to call DH.

So...I am waiting to see what will happen. I'm trying to not get too nervous or uptight about tomorrow. Like I said, I do have a good part of the afternoon all to myself (or with DD14 for part of it) and I'm going to enjoy that alone time. Because tomorrow night, DH starts his week for work and will be leaving at 9:30 pm and I'll be stuck here with monster SS14.

Good thing I have wine....