I'd be annoyed. He's definitely putting a child's sporting event over a family holiday, which is nuts.

Guess you are off the hook for spending time with his family going forward.

Sorry DH, that's not the way it works. You don't get to bow out of your wife's holidays when she comes to yours. This would be an issue for me.

I wouldn't go to the next family occassion for his side.   Does his family know he does this with your side?  Would they encourage behavior from him that doesn't support the success of your marriage?  Using a kid sporting event to evade your family is lame.  

No you are not wrong. DH is an ass.  He is not living up to his side of your equity life partnership. 

I do not love visiting my IL clan but I go and I participate and I even enjoy much of it. That is part of the equity life partnership deal.  I cannot expect her to be part of my family if I am not part of hers.

Good luck.

He's an a$$. Putting an individual kid sporting event over a family holiday is wrong.

You need to find a way to turn the tables and make him feel the pain of you not being supportive of him. Don't nag, don't whine. Just convey an uncomfortable lesson.

You are not wrong.

My SO does this to me with his family ALL the time and I have to fight him to get him to go see my family sometimes. It doesn't help that we can walk to his family in 5 minutes while we have to drive an hour to see mine. I've already told him that next Christmas I'm going to spend it with my family and if he has an issue with it then oh well. It's no crazy, nor does it make you 'too sensitive' for wanting equal time with your family. If he has an issue with it then he can deal. Let him know your stance on the subject and that family needs to see both of you. Proximity is no excuse for exclusion. 

Some of his family members are absolute disrespectful arseholes coming to family gatherings and even our home sick and contagious with bronchitis, haven’t seen a dr and hugged my newborn son (we didn’t know said person was sick as wasn’t displaying symptoms) until i found a bag of pills which was from a dr for every symptom me and out kids had and at next family gathering same person had no voice. We were interstate and i avoided and locked myself in bedroom but its pointless, all it takes is a handshake or the wanker to cough all over food

well 2 months sick, going to hospital specialist for xrays and oxygen mask to help my breathing yeah i lost my shit with hubbys family who were irresponsible and inconsiderate and spread their germs

after that we avoided family events and i only went for weddings etc for hubbys niece and nephews and especially because my lovely fil is old and always missed us and our kids. Hubbys family didn’t want to upset their dad why we were angry at some of them.

i went to support hubbys family and because i wanted my kids to not miss out on their cousins getting married.

but every year, me/hubby and our 2 toddlers fly back to my home overseas to relax and spend time with my dad. Several months later we fly my dad over for religious holidays. Thats a packaged deal. There is no way hubby would even want to tell me oh i’m not going on that overseas trip because my adult child is graduating or has a recital or something. 

Our trips are planned well in advance (often 10 months so we can get tickets on sale), so if people aren’t considerate enough to warn us in advance, even if this is a family wedding... well tough shit, we are not wasting money rescheduling our holidays and plans to suit others

what op has here is a husband wanker problem. I’m brutal and straight to the point if my husband tried to pull this shit on me. I would tell him he has hos priorities wrong and is treating me with no respect and as a 2nd class citizen and i’m better off not being married to him.

trust me after a few times threatening to leave hubby and that i would have full custody of our kids as hubby works crazy hours and simply would never gain custody of our toddlers, it set him back in place.

i actually messaged hubby one day that his priorities were in the wrong place and he better tell me within next few days whether me and our kids were worth him pissfarting around and stupid sport events and golf trips with the boys to the point he’s missing out and not making an effort to spend quality time nurturing our kids and showing what a united family front is all about and that father time with our kids is just as important as mummy time. I reminded him that he f*#ked up and turned a blind eye to his 3 kids with ex and see how they’ve turned out. They’re screwed up, narcissistic, manipulative, self absorbed pricks and no way was that cycle starting again.

hubby didn’t talk to me for 2 days as knew i was pissed. All he said was the usual apology “i’m sorry” to which i said “saying i’m sorry only for it to continually happen again makes your apology worthless”. That eventually became a wake up call

Your husband has basically shown you are not important to him and you are not his equal partner. Address this immediately!! Remember do not tolerate this crap ever!

i can guarantee you that if you were to say well i won’t go to your family events from now on he will keep asking you in future in the hopes you give in to his whinging and go, thats him manipulating and guilting you