I am the butt of all jokes
I am reading your postings and I am thrilled that I am not alone anymore. Don't get me wrong, I am not thrilled for you. I thought I was this freak, this horrible cartoon bitch for feeling the way I do. I have 2 SDs. One is 9, the other 12. The 9 year old is a dream child. The 12 year old is Satan. She is already a mini-whore, running after boys like there is no tomorrow. She is EVERYTHING negative one can imagine from a child. She is rude, inconsiderate, selfish, disrespectful, on and on and on. I could fill pages with words that describe her.
I was stupid enough to marry a man with 2 children. I was furthermore, stupid enough, to MOVE to another continent. I spent all of my savings. Now I am in a different country. No money and having to deal with the child from hell. I am originally from Europe, but moved to the States where I resided the past 26 years. I speak 6 languages (not that this is unusual for someone from Europe - but it matters to this post). I have a couple of degrees - nothing to be over-the-hill arrogant about. I have always been financially independent, very successful. Anyway, now I am residing in Australia. Yes, I have an accent, but my communication skills are hardly 'poor', considering my professional background. The other evening, yet another HAPPY weekend with the SDs, the older one keeps on making fun about my accent. She has done this on many occasions before, I always let everything go. To be honest, I am just not equipped to deal with kids like that. I have never known a child who can be that rude. What irked me this time though was the fact that Dad happily chimed in, versus correcting this racist behavior. I feel this was truly the last straw. I don't know what to do, but I also know that I am not old enough just yet to endure all of this. Their mother is a whore (literally, I am not making this up). The kids don't stand a chance to become normal productive citizens. Too much negative influence at the other household. When they are with us, well, daddy is wrapped around their little finger. There is no parenting. My life is hell. The worst part is that I am basically living in a cow-town now (versus having resided in Los Angeles before), no ways of making a network. How do I get out of here? It feels good to vent. I hope that the answers will present themselves what to do while venting. 
Venting is a good way to get
Venting is a good way to get it out. I am thrilled that you noticed dad chipping in is actually worse than his child doing it. Because it is. He just taught her that what she did was acceptable and worse funny. He is encouraging rudeness in his princess.
The only person who can change this is you.
Marrying a man with two children, yeah it was stupid. But how would you know that. People marry have babies then find out they're not suited to that life. So don't be too harsh on yourself for that. Step parenting is a super hard thankless job. You don't need this from your DH on top of it.
If you can, stand up to him and draw a line in the cement here. No more accent jokes ever. Especially from him. You have no real control over her, but you can correct her every single time she is rude. You may, hopefully have more control over daddy. You might be surprised just how much you can pull him into line. But you must at least try.
Whereabouts in Australia are you. I am in Melbourne.
I have a friend whose daughter in law works as an interpreter. She makes amazing money working from home doing interpretation over the phone. It seems there is work in that field. It may help you to start putting aside a little nest egg, an exit fund. Not feeling quite so trapped may help you to deal with the situation a little better.
Thank you so much for
Thank you so much for supportive message. You know how it is in any desperate situation, you get to a point when you think that there is something wrong with you and you alone.
I am in Tasmania (sigh, yes...). I wish I would reside in a metropolitan city, I wouldn't feel as trapped. I will look into the interpretation opportunities - thank you for that tip! If you have any more info an that (name of organization, etc.), I would be oh so very grateful.
Highly agree with the above
Highly agree with the above posters!
There is no reason why this is acceptable behaviour in YOUR house.
A sincere thank you to all of
A sincere thank you to all of you who took the time to send me such supportive messages. Thank you!
I know and knew from the bottom of my heart, that when being belittled, it is not cool. I just have never experienced this in my life before. I don't have the tools to deal with this. I raised a son who is such a tremendous caring person - don't get me wrong, he was FAR from perfect. But I nipped things in the butt immediately, always. I did not tolerate any of the behavior I encounter now. I know I have to develop those tools to defend myself and quickly! I spend every day crying and I absolutely hate my self-pity. It will and has to stop NOW. I am reading a lot of what some of you say, about trying to identify tasks to take care of when the SKs are around, hiding out in the bedroom, etc. I do that as well, but only get verbal abuse from my DH for doing just that. Besides, lets face it, how pathetic is it to hide in the bedroom. I also have to add that I was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes a few months after we got married - yeah, the fun one with the needle. Stress is the worst for this disease. Oh yeah, and when I was at the hospital, not knowing anyone here, being totally scared and alone, he went to play tennis with the kids. In sickness and in health, yeah right. So disillusioned at this point .
Thumbs up to your suggestion Foxie - my Mom said the same thing. I just don't know what is the best way to deal with this whole thing. I hate confrontation. So I rather distance myself from situations that create undesired conflict. The fact remains that this is a permanent fixture in my life. Furthermore, I just know that the older one will be rocking up with a teenage pregnancy here in the near future. My DH owns a large farm and the girls were already informed that they are to inherit EVERYTHING - which basically tells a child that you never have to work because money will fall into your lap (and with everything I mean including the Rolex watch). It sounds all so pathetic while I am typing this. In the meantime, we never spend time together because he is working on that farm every weekend when they are not here. We spend no time with each other at all. My life consists of having a gloomy dull tired DH all week long and every other weekend its perky Disneyland environment for the kids. I sit like an idiot in the middle. I should have dumped that whole clan (oh yeah and grandma and granddad are real winners too - when I met them they spoon-fed both kids, then 5 and 8; do I have to say more?) a long time ago.
No darling you don't have to
No darling you don't have to say anymore, you said it all at Tasmania. :).
These kids smell your fear of confrontation. Your bottling it all up instead of putting then and DH in their place is adding to your stress. So, do what was suggested. Answer them back in another language. You can let fly with whatever you like and there isn't a damn thing they can do about it. That little bit of power you get from that will rock them to their socks. These guys including your DH are bullies, bullies don't like to be confronted or dealt with in any language. So let them have it. Try ringing your local council, hospital, even your local gp may on occassion have need for your services, you just need to get your name and service you can provide out there, its Tasmania, soeak up and the whole isle will soon hear
or Centrelink may have a need, in regards to interpreter services. I will see if I can find out anything my end. But a phone call to one of those places may just give you the heads up you need to get started over there. Your more pressing problem, your DH. Stand up to him, pull him into line first. And never never take this from him or those rude kids again, you are not wrong here, he is levelling you, he knows your smarter than him, but if he and his kids keep this up, he thinks he will destroy your confidence and you will never leave. Don't allow this to happen. You actually will survive without him anyway, he knows that. He is more afraid of losing you than you realise.
Oh, try the court house and police station as well. It is very easy to get an ABN and start up your own business. You could even do that. Wow, that would show them big time. But best you keep things as quiet as possible, get a post office box and keep it to yourself. If he thinks you are picking up work here and there that's one thing. But if you leave, hell want half your business. But you can work this out. Just have the confidence.