I have to leave but how...
So I saw my Dr. this morning regarding the migraine I've hd for the ppast 2 weeks. He said it's all related to stress and anxiety. I know exactly where this stems from, my step kids (14 & 11 boys). I don't feel like I'm at home when they are there, constant drama, screaming and I've just come to the idea that they will never accept/respect me.
I feel like FH has done everything he can to help. He grounds them, talks to them, tells them how he feels about me, the fights...etc..
Now that it's affecting my health and therefore will affect my own son I feel like I have that extra kick in the butt I needed to open my eyes and understand that this is not healthy.
I've been seeing a therapist for the past couple of years to try to work through these issues but whether I take any approach I always end up being hurt by their cruel words.
I feel like I'm at the end of my rope. Not sure how I can explain this to FH. We built our future together, bought a house, planning a wedding.
I looked at the post about living in separate houses and I really can't see myself living that life. FH and I are so busy, we'd just never see eacho ther and I'd just be upset all the time.
I went to the ER last year
I went to the ER last year thinking I was having a stroke, I was getting migraines so bad. Does your FH know that its affecting your health this bad?
"If I turn into another, Dig me up from under what is covering the better part of me" -Incubus
Yes I tell him about my
Yes I tell him about my headaches and he sees I'm not well but I don't think he puts two and two together. He doesn't understand why I get so stressed about his kids and think I should be able to just let them be and not care.
This makes me so sad. I
This makes me so sad. I don't know what to say, but I think it's obvious you know what you need to do.
That doesn't make it any easier, I know.
____________________________________________________________________
"If it sounds like I think I am better than you, it's because I do."
ah...you have teen boys in
ah...you have teen boys in the home. Its enough to drive even an intact family apart so don't feel like you're alone in this...and not just being a stepparent.
I read your previous blog to get a heads up on your situation. From what I understand something needs to change with the parenting schedule first before tossing in the towel. And I'm only saying this because it appears the downfall of the relationship is not for lack of love and affection for each other. If that was the case I'd say someone needs to start packing their bags.
How would your FH feel about revising his boys schedule from what it is to two weeks on/two weeks off? This will give you 1 week with your son and FH, 1 week of your son/FH/ and his boys, 1 week of you/his boys/and FH, and 1 week of just you and FH (bowchicabowow). Teens are old enough to not be at their parents every week not to mention the less moving around the better it is with their studies. It would give you the break and the balance everyone needs.
I agree -- I think SC has a
I agree -- I think SC has a really good idea here. I'm sure it would reduce your stress level a lot. Is it possible? I would say, suggest this to your FH, and if he is unwilling to approach BM about this, then I would tell him that you'll give him 3 or 4 days to think of another solution to reduce your stress, but if he can't think of anything, you're going to have to think about leaving.
BB
You are not second best, you are not second class. Do not ever let anyone make you feel that way. - 2BLoved
find a nice man with no
find a nice man with no kids
That's my plan, I'm turning 30 this year and think I still have time to find someone who will appreciate me.
Last night, I spoke to FH about the fact that he works out 3hrs a day/4 times a week and 1hr a day on the other days. I find this to be a bit too much. We work different hours and now I hardly see him. I stuck with the kids alone or the week we don't have them I'm alone. Yes he helps with chores and supper but there is more to that required in a relationship. He told me he thought I didn't love him and that I should move out??
WTF I don't love him, but he's the one always gone? I told him if I didn't love him I would not complain, I'd be happy that he's always gone. Also I'm the one that pays more for the bills, why would I move out?
I was hurt by his comment and told him, the day I start working out like you do is the day I will not love you anymore. He said I was a b*** and was making him feel guilty to want to be healthy and he said he wants to be in his best shape for his 40th. I asked if it was temporary (working out so much) and he said yes. I asked how long, he said atleast 1 year. Yeah no, that did not make me happy.
I'm always thinking about leaving and now that he actually opens the door for me I don't leave? I know I do love him but I think the end is near.