I have 1 ds and bf has 2 ds. I always wanted another child but not bf. We had our ups and downs in the last 2 years and now things are great. BF even changed his mind about addidng to our family.

I've been wanting this for so long.. Should'nt I be happy?? I'm so scared, these thoughts are always on my mind:

- how will the ss react?
- will it go back to being a bad atmosphere in the house?
- what if I want to leave him again, I will be a single mom of 2 kids 2 diff. dads?
- how will family react?
- just started a new job, how will boss react?

I know you will say we should wait but bf turned 40 (we have a big age gap) and was clear that it had to be now or never since he doesn't want a child when he's 45/50.

I should be so happy.. why am I getting all these negative feelings inside?