My fiancé has a 14 year old daughter, whose father has lied about me a number of times to the Court and CPS. This has been going on for years and I have been trying to be strong and get through this, hoping things would get better and they are getting worse.

The 14 yo kid used to be sweet, nice, and has become a monster of a liar and manipulator. She lives with us and goes to her dad’s on weekends where she complains about everything at our house. We have rules she doesn’t like to obey and when she goes to her dad’s he lets her do all the things we don’t let her do and the she comes home and treats her mom and me like a money and food dispensary, and only cares about what she wants – typical teenage behavior I know.

The problem: I can’t tolerate people I don’t trust, and I don’t trust this kid or her dad. I am even fearful that they will come up with more lies to try and damage my reputation, ruin my life. I have told my fiancé that I can’t control or discipline her kid because of the dynamic between my fiancé, her ex, and the kid. I have raised the awful subject of sending the kid to live w her dad. My fiance’s worst nightmare is to send this kid to live with her dad. In her words: “I can’t live without her.” This came out recently and was sort of like a punch in the guts. I wonder if we even have a relationship if everything is about this spoiled kid.

I don’t feel safe in my own home. I live in constant fear of being dragged into court or having CPS called on me and having to defend myself over and over against this tide of insanity that has become my life. Last night, I told my fiancé that I don’t feel safe around her daughter, that I don’t trust her, and that maybe it would be best if I moved out.

I love my fiancé more than anything. We get along great, and life would be perfect if I wasn’t dealing with her ex and now the teenager who basically riles the crazy ex up with her complaining. I don’t want to move out, but I don’t know what to do…