MOTHER'S DAY
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What are your plans and expectations for Mother's day? Also How was the last mother's day?
This is will be my first Mother's day after I got married... I'm not sure what to expect, I guess in school they will make SD5 make a card for her mommy, and all that... :? I wish I could spend it with her, but I know that is not very likely...
:O
Although
I have been more active as a mother than her own biological one...
Me too
This is the first Mother's Day since we got married. And it's SD's weekend with her mommy-dearest. I have no expectations of a card or anything from her or DH. Whatever... Do you primary custody of you SD?
....
they were never married and when they split they agreed on "joint custody" but just not legally. Since she has NOT been able to take care of their daughter properly for the last year (she wouldn't be able to take care of her without DH, whereas we wouldn't need her if that were the case) she pretty much lives with us, BM lives with her boyfriend and they don't have a room for SD5 there, she sleeps on a couch when she goes, but for the last few weeks she has been with her mother like 40% of the time, and we get the 60%. It's weird because there is no set schedule at all, BM works a few weeks and then won't find a job for months, her schedule always changes... and we also live pretty close so it's easy to take her, pick her up etc... and also for a couple of months the mom wasn't around because financially she couldn't survive in this state, so went back to her home state and I was the one in charge 100% of SD5, and then BM came back.
I can relate
I can kind of sort of relate to your situation. My DH and BM were never married - one of those accidentally on purpose knock-up situations so he would be trapped. They have a custoday agreement so we have her EOW, Tuesday evenings for dinner and Thursday evening for dinner if we don't have her that weekend. We also live close to the BM. She has her own hair salon and works like three days a week. We were married in June and my SD was with us every weekend until mid-August. Whatever BM wanted we would accomodate. I put a stop to that after we had gone 7 consecutive weekends after our honeymoon and wedding without a weekend alone. BM is a passive aggressive witch who has her flavor of the month shack up with her and is a damn dirty hippy.
It's our weekend
so we'll have her in the morning and she'll go to her mom's when her mom wakes up and decides to call at the last minute. Thereby preventing us from making any plans.
A couple weeks before Mother's Day, I sit all the kids down and we do a craft for all the "moms" (bio, step, grand, step-grand, etc.). Last year, BM told H that she didn't want me to have SD make her something. Instead, she wanted H to take SD shopping for her. Tough noogies. She can take what she gets. I personally feel NO obligation to give her anything, I just do it because the kids like it and I encourage my kids to have a good relationship with their SM. Can't really have SD do a mother's day project for everyone EXCEPT her mother! If her mother chooses to not accept it, she can explain it to SD.
But I'm putting a stop to the purchasing of gifts for holidays, birthdays, etc. (I think H still does it behind my back though... jerk)
btw - during the craft I'll get a "phone call" and have to leave the room. Then BS takes over and makes sure they make something for me. Then he "hides" it and comes to tell me when they are done with mine. It's cute actually.
Personally, Mother's Day for me starts for me when SD leaves. THEN I can relax and enjoy the day!
HAHAHAHAHHA
She wanted him to take SD to buy her something... That's pretty funny! I wonder if she does that for Father's day?
Oh and I was wondering if you put them to make you something... LOL, you answered that!
Well... I might put SD to make something for her mom, because I'm cool like that! unless she makes one at school (very likely). And I know that BM wouldn't put her to make me anything because of course, didn't ya' know it's mothers day and I AM NOT HER MOTHER...
Mothers Day~
Always a WONDERFUL day for me... FH always makes it a point to make it special... takes me and my girls somewhere AWESOME every year... but I can't help but have that slight feeling of disappointment that I don't get a phone call from SS. He is SO young (5) and I would never ever expect HIM to think to call his STEPmommy, on mothers day...he just does'nt have the capacity to think like that yet... but I just hold on the the hope that SOME day when he is old enough to understand it all, he will pick up the phone and call me. I am sure eventually, he will.
DISbelief~
~You have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy!~ ; )
SAME HERE
SD just turned 5 this week, i don't really expect her to call me on that day if she is at her mom's, unless she is surprisingly prompted by someone (BM) and that is not very likely...
Hopefully I'll negotiate something so I can spend a little bit with her...
haha
the nerve of BM to say "take her to the store and buy something"..your lucky you get anything at all..WOW!!!
This post gave me a good idea..I want FH to get a card for his baby for the BM..but instead of doing that..I think I'll have "craft time" at my house and MAKE something..she will KNOW I helped him make it..HAHA..I'm so evil.
"He grew up in my heart, not my belly"
That tells you what kind of mother she is
I would MUCH rather have a handprint on a paper plate, or a macaroni necklace than anything they could buy me at a store. I have proudly worn my macaroni and bead necklaces to work and displayed my scratch paper scribbled portraits all over my office. Keep your diamond earrings (that was last year's request), those should come from her H, not SD. She just gives me so many reasons to not respect her...
WHOA! Hold the Phone
Did I read this correctly?
Your DHs EX WIFE "requested" that HE take his daughter out and buy HER (the ex) DIAMOND EARRINGS for a Mother's Day present from his child to her????
Again, am I reading this right?
PLEASE Serena, please tell me your DH did NOT do this, because if he did, I'm going to come to where you live and kick his butt FOR YOU!
This drives me crazy. DH used to do this, too- in the VERY early years, he would take the girls out for them to buy little Mother's Day gifts for their POS mom.
And I would go apeshit on him for doing it. WHY you ask?
Because it was no longer HIS RESPONSIBILITY to do this. She was the one who left the marriage and immediately shacked up with her new "Mr. Wonderful". Shouldn't it now be HIS responsibility to make sure they get her something????
It's not like she's alone.
On Father's Days, his birthdays, etc it was MY responsibility to make sure I took the girls out and had them get something for their dad. Not BMs. Besides, she flat-out wouldn't do it anyway, and would be too damn cheap to use any of her money on something like that.
And your POS BM, Serena, who thinks she can "request" something like diamond earrings from her ex-husband???
She's got a set of brass ones on her!
"Of course things worked out nicely for Carol Brady...she had a live-in maid and Mike's first wife was DEAD!"
Could not agree more!
Yes you read it right and no he didn't cave on this one. He bought her about a $30 gift instead, which ticked me off enough. The earrings were small, just over $100 and they matched SD's, so it only stands to reason that she should get some to match. Right? Puh-lease. She's a moron.
NOOOO WAYYYYYYYY
OH goD...
I wouldn't be happy at all if DH bought anything for "SD" for BM.... Good news is that I AM 150% sure he will not even think about it, as a matter of fact, she owes him over $4,000, and he would never think about buying her anything, not in this lifetime, he also doesn't like her at all...
WOW...
I cannot believe that...but I can sort of relate. I found out a few months ago that last year for Mother's Day my husband took his daughters out and bought the ex a GPS navigation system for her car... $500.00 later. He and I had been dating and got engaged one month later so you better believe that is NOT happening this year. He has kissed her ass for 6 years since the divorce. Things have definitely changed in that department since I came along. I will not tolerate that behavior, EVER! And anyone who does needs to re-think their current situation.
Thank God for my wonderful husband and his love and RESPECT for me and my feelings. We are a team and do everything together, including making important decisions about the ex.
This will be my third Mother's Day
since being married to DH and being "officially" stepmom and to this day I have never even gotten a verbal "Happy Mothers Day". I see it as just as much my DH's fault as theirs. My two boys (skids) are 10 and 11. Hurts my feeling every year. This is actually the 5th Mothers Day since I have known them.
We have 50/50 custody and the boys will be with BM (as they should be) but my DH calls the boys on Sunday nights...and in all of the years, they have never even said "tell Stepm Happy Mothers Day".
BTW: Even Wal-Mart carries cards for StepMoms on Mother day...
"God grant me the serenity accept the things I cannot change; the strength to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference."
aaah mothers day
I guess I just never expected FH kids to do anything for me for Mother's day, not to be harsh but they are not my kids, they have a mom ( she is the CP and is not psycho crazy really she is an ok mom)pretty much I am their dad's fiance' nothing more nothing less...and I am ok with that. they treat me with respect and for me that is all I want from them.
FH has never ever bought BM a gift AFTER the divorce for Mother's day I think he did buy materials for them to make stuff but that is about it.
so for me it is a day to be with my biosons, they usually will make me a card (they are 19 & 23) and they know I love homemade cards still..we will probably have dinner together, they and FH will cook and then clean up ..
"Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without one."
My kids have had me in
My kids have had me in theirs lives since April of 2005, they have made me cards and stuff each year. Last year was the only year so far that my daughter (SD) didn't make me anything. Yes it did hurt but when I think about it now...even though she and I or my son (SS) and I argue/disagree about things just having them in my life is enough for me. It was also the first Mother's Day since I've been here that BM took them for that holiday. Which I am completely ok with...after all she is their BM. My husband usually buys me something from him and the kids, as well as either taking me out to eat or him cooking a meal at home for me (usually something with chicken since it's my favorite..lol).
This will be my third
This will be my third "official" mothers day as the stepmom to my SD11 and SD13. All though we've spent six mothers days together since I moved in with their Dad. I've always gotten at least a card and A verbal Happy Mothers Day from them.
And last year DH really kicked it up a notch by making a song for me(which the three of them sang together) and getting me flowers and a ballon! It was perfect.
Of course we always celebrate MD the Saturday night before(for whatever reason we always seem to have them on mother's day weekend?) because on Sunday they go and spend the day with their BM-which they should- and I get to spend my mothers day kid free, so it really is special because I don't have to worry about taking care of anyone that day and I can just relax with my DH
....and I remember back in the beginning I encouraged my DH to take the girls or for us all to go out together and buy their BM a Mother's day, birthday, christmas present because I felt bad that she wasn't in a relationship so she didn't have someone who could take the kids to do that for her.....of course over the years, despite my efforts to be nice, she became more and more of a bitch so I stopped buying stuff for the kids to give her on holidays, of course she's still alone but the kids are old enough now to figure out how to get her a gift on their own.