I have been talking to DH about how he needs to stop answering the phone every goddamn time BM calls, and I have been telling him to tell her to communicate via email because:

A)When there is an issue, there's too much blah blah blah, but they never get to the point at once, and what could have been done in 1 phone call is done in 2.

There is a record of everything said, many, many times she says something and then claims she didn't say it (I have heard it on speaker phone) and then she says she didn't say it :jawdrop: VERY ANNOYING

C)NO need of so much communication, most of it is pointless, and it upsets me

DH told her to stop calling so much, and of course, she claimed that it was about SD5 (I know it was, but he doesn't need to know insignificant details)and she seriously thinks she is entitled to so much just because she gave birth to her.
She didn't stop calling of course, and he didn't stop answering after me telling him to let it go to voicemail and then call back if its an emergency. he didn't do it ok.

She has never had a stable job, and I don't work, so we pretty much take turns to drop and pick SD5 up from PreK, when she is not working. I have told her (and DH as well) that she (BM) needs to communicate with me via email, not DH, because I'm the one picking her up and dropping her off, so I decide, and there is no need for middleman(DH).

Well, yesterday, she called twice, he didn't answer (he didn't see/hear it) and then he called back when he saw the missed call, they talked about SD5, but got nowhere. THEN, later on, she called back, she wanted to let him know that she is not working this week and wanted to figure a schedule out because she has to go to the DR. She does not say when, and he says he is tired and wanted to talk about it tomorrow. Okay, I told DH that he should have asked her to send ME an email with her ideal schedule, and I would have sent another email with modifications if any.

Well, he didn't do this of course. I knew this was going to be an issue for two reasons:
1) I might have an appointment at the Dr's as well, but don't know when.
Some Background unnecessary information about that: I want to get my IUD and have to go get it with my period, so whenever I get my period I call and make an appointment, therefore I don't have a date until I get my period.

Well, I have been talking about this IUD for the last month, DH was even the one who paid for it, I have mentioned how is this appointment going to work at least 20 times!!! and also, how I didn't want to go with SD5 and BS1, but I HAVE to go with BS1 because I don't have another option, and I'm sure he won't know what's going on, but going with SD5 would be EXTREMELY uncomfortable!

Anyway, I told DH, that since he didn't tell her to send him/me/us an email, I was going to "give up" on trying to tell him what to do, and I also told him NOT to involve me when he talks to her on the phone. Because I REALLY HATE when she says something, he asks me, then he answers, etc... is like he is the fuckn middleman.

Well... HA! she calls today, he answers, and they want to talk about the schedule, first of all, she mentioned that since she isn't working this week, SD5 didn't have to come here. :O Ok, makes sense, like this is a daycare facility and we don't wanna see her at all, just because she is available to pick her up and drop her off.

later, He looks at me, says hold on to her, and OH MY GOD HERE IT COMES !!!!!!!!!!!!! :O he says:

"when is your appointment again?"

I gave him this terrible "look" because I have told him 19020398203984 times that I do not know until I get my period, but yet he DARED TO ASK me... :jawdrop:

He got incredibly mad because I gave him the "look" and said "you two can kiss my ass" (on the phone, and then hung up

:jawdrop: :jawdrop: :jawdrop: :jawdrop: :jawdrop: :jawdrop: :jawdrop: NO HE DIDN'T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HE JUST put US as equals!!!!!!!!!!! I FLIPPED OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

he flipped out more, I kept working on my school work, and he tried to argue with me, since I wasn't looking at him, (I had a deadline to send my work) he pretty much started to close my computer and to like mess it up or whatever, well he DID!!!! a few seconds later, the power point presentation I had been working on for like 4 hours was GONEEEEEE, I had not saved (don't ask me why) so it was gone, I pretty much had a nervous breakdown type of thing, I started crying. I never cry, but I take my school work so seriously!.

He started saying "Im sorry", "I'll do it", 'tell me what is it that i have to do", and also like "why didn't you save" blah blah blah.

Well, to get to the end faster, we argued, and argued and argued after that, I even said i didn't want to keep going with this marriage, and he threw his ring(as usual)...

I started to re do my presentation, he kept apologizing, watery eyes and all that sh!T...

:?

I kept telling him, how this is why communication must be dealt by email, and phone calls must be just for things that need immediate response. He agrees 8).... I told him, that I don't want words, i want results.
We are "better" at this point and he goes to pick SD5 up from BM, they argued of course!

Conclusion: I finished my project... He apologized to me with tears, he promised to give his best at controlling his anger, (we'll see), and he will not be answering BM calls at all, he will let them go to voicemail, and he said he would consult me first before calling/texting or whatever back.

We are also getting a house soon which is pretty far, and SD will be going to Kindergarten, so things are going to be way more complicated, and we both agree that he will finally have to go legal.

We'll see what happens next.

He kept saying how he is so tired of BM being the center of the conv. in our house, and how our marriage is being affected by her. He also agrees that she *thinks* that only because she bore his child she is entitled to so much, when in fact she is not entitled for anything.

He kept saying that this whole situation is totally unfair to me, and that he appreciates me so much, that i'm such a better mother (cuz i am) than BM etc...