Stephanie4257 sounds familiar! Trust me i know how you feel. I have SKIDS and BC in my household ages 10-1 and there are 5 of them, my partner and I turn crazy when they are all together, but we are perfectly fine when its just him and my BC. He is the disneyland dad, he is a wonderful person but fails miserably and discipline, this has but a huge strain on us since i am very strict and do not tolerate bad behavior from my own kids, its hard to know yoru place in that type of situtation..for me leaving out of the room is the only way i can deal with it sometimes when his kids act crazy, start screaming and throwing tantrums, or just down right rude. I watch him struggle and try to help by supporting him and giving him ideas about what to do,,but he never really put forth the effort,,he feels guilty about not being with them full time. I worry that if we all moved in together it would be even more chaos.... you cant live in a house with two different standards... how is your partners standards on discipline? what is yours like for your kids? your son with autism should not be compared to the other children, there is a reason he is hard to deal with,,, there is not excuse for the other kids. I have to share my kids with my ex but we have upheld the same strict standards with behavior,morals,education,respect and it has worked for our kids. I struggled in my younger years trying to find my "parenting way" but i finally did and i stuck to it. So i try to tell my BF that he needs to do the same, and that if he doesnt change it now it will only get worst. Your situation sounds like he doesnt do much discipline since he onlys sees them on the weekends, but maybe you can talk with him that it doesnt mean all of it goes out the window becauuse he doesnt want to look like the bad guy,, eventually you will get fed up and start doing it and you will look like the bad guy and you will only be even more stressed

Great points and questions from babiai3.

Does your husband not see his kids acting up? My SD acted out with other kids and she managed to hide that side of her from her dad for a while there. He at least knew that she was not treating others fair or with respect. I ended up video taping her behavior when others were around as if I was videoing them playing together. She kept her cool in front of the camera but must of forgot it was recording when I stepped away. Her dad was able to see what was going on with his own two eyes. I no longer had to convince him that we need to keep her away from other kids and animals.

Its not easy being under the same roof I understand all to well, but her dad has been able to "get it" and he has stepped up with his parenting now that he can't close his eyes to the issues that he has seen. Before that, it was hear say coming from me that was just words being repeated.

So he would correct her as she was crying and I knew she was trying to get off the hook. DH was a sucker to tears which I find really sweet now that its no longer an issue. I decided to prove her tears were fake. I did this cause her tears was making her dad feel bad and lost as to how to handle her. We bought a baby monitor then planted it in her room. When her dad would send her to her room, we went to our room and turned it on. She went from crying to being a singing happy ball of joy. DH was no longer a "Disney Dad". We no longer use the monitor for it was to just prove a point more less.

Sorry to throw such a long reply here, I hope things improve for you and your family.

Sounds like you got some good advise here try it first.

In the end you've got to do what is best for your children even if that means moving.

I always advise people with children to live alone until the kids are grown. It's better for most kids and most aduldts.