Need some serious advice!
I live with my fiance and we have been together for 4 years. I have 4 children 3 boys 16 14 and 10 and a daughter 13. He has 2 children ss14 and sd 17.
His daughter moved in with us in november of last year. It has been an uphill battle ever since. she is his princess he has her on this pedistal that no one can touch. Now before she lived with us her and I had a good relationship and to her knowledge we still do, but as time goes on I find it very hard to like her.
My children have respect for the rules in our house and for the most part follow them My 16 son goes to school everyday while sd has now decided that she nolonger wants to go in the afternoons I have told her many times that she is to go and she will not and when I told her dad he told her to go and she told him to Fuckoff and that what she did was none of his business and there was no punishment for it other than he told her that he would not call the school for her.
She has a job that is a 15 min walk from our house yet everyday we need to arrange our schedules around her work hours cause he has to drive her to and from work all the time. And yesturday I when I was putting laundry in the kids rooms I found a 26 of vodka out in the open in her room and told her dad and he said nothing to her.
she is always back talking him and calling him asshole and things and nothing happens However if it were my children that said that to him he would flip on them.
I just dont know what to do anymore this kid runs my house and no matter what I say to dh he is so worried she is going to move back to her moms he lets her and she doesnt listen to a thing I say.
And worst thing is he started letting her use our 1/2 bathroom in our room to get ready for school in the morning even though she has a mirror and everything she needs in her own room, she will walk in my room in the morning without knocking while I am still in bed. and as now started to move her things into our bathroom all her hair and makeup stuff and her tooth brush. I was so ready the other day just to pack all my stuff and move it to her room and put her stuff in our room to make a point.
Sorry this is so long I just dont know what to do ! please any advice would be great ! :jawdrop:
I posted simular issues with
I posted simular issues with my ss16 the other days because he claimed that I was treating him like a rug. (blog is posted on my list)
I spoke to BF about the siutation, outlined what had gone on the entire day, of course BF began to cover for SS until I pointed out that I was the "parent" who takes primary responsibility for the day in and day out activities of the kids and the house. I let BF know that of course you don't see these "issues" because he is not the one to deal with them. It became really clear to him then that I was not just picking on SS but that I was worried about what example we were setting for him later in life if I as the person responsible to help teach him how to take care of things let all of this stuff go. It really worked bringing up the subject in a manner that showed that I was "complaining" about things from a place of love and concern. I also let BF know the different things that I had already tried but that had not been successful. Then I pumped him up letting him know that I needed him to help, that I couldnt do it myself.
(I kept the thought to myself that kept saying "this is your son, and I always have to deal with the crap that you and ex don't teach him, sometimes I hate to admit some of the thoughts that go through my head, they just pop in there even if they are wrong.)
good luck.