Sharing Space and Toys Between 5 and 6 year olds
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Hi,
I am looking for some feedback on how to handle this issue we are having about sharing space and toys between these two kids. They manipulate each other and us as they are trying to navigate their new pecking order and sharing space with a new sibling. it is driving us crazy. We have tried making them share but then thought that was dumb. So then we tried telling them they do not have to share. Then we said they cannot be in each others rooms. None of this is working. I am wondering what some of you have done technique wise to handle the manipulation and sharing issues we are having. Everyone in the house is beweildered as to what the heck is going on! Thank you for any tips and tricks.
I agree with Cheesedoff. In
I agree with Cheesedoff. In the long run it will pay off so to speak. Right this moment though? The classic battle of sharing...good luck with that at those ages! It's a battle no matter what when it comes to toys. Hang in there kiddo, and put quiet play and lack of conflict between the two in your 'someday' file. We all have one and it's usually full!
Thank you all for your
Thank you all for your comments. They are new step siblings. Last night when I picked my son up for the forst night of his stay with us, they got along really well. Sometimes the first night is horrible and other first nights go great. We have 4 more days together so all this information really helps. I think I am grappling with the notion of sharing at all. My morals and values tell me that sharing is the right thing to teach and most would agree I believe. I have also read what Cheesdoff said about a few special toys that they do not need to share. Supernanny echos this idea as well. I may also need to move into toy confiscation. Perhaps a combination of both. The whole not room boundaries doesn't feel right to me as it is today, they cannot enter each others rooms at all. But I ask myself what are we teaching them by doing that. Not collaboration! So I think that the asking for permission is good and teaches respect. The tricky part about that is monitoring it. Things will seem fine between then and if I am going to do laundry and not present with them, they can go south in a heartbeat! So a combination of sharing techniques, toy confiscation and parental listenign and presence should help curb this. You think? Thank you all again! I am sure I will have more baffling episodes as we try and transition into a new family.
This is a tough
This is a tough situation...we force the whole "sharing is caring" thing on them and then we turn around and have to explain that we NEED to have our own things too? It's true though...kind of like when kids have Bdays...they want to be the first to play with their new toys...we stress that this happens. After a few days - then the other sk may ask if they can play with it - it's usually a yes - and everyone is happy then. But they must ask and then the same thing happens vice versa with the other child on their birthday.
So this weekend we
So this weekend we introduced new house rules, chore lists, discipline techniques, schedule/routine, rerwards chart. We had a really great weekend together. They seem to thrive on the guidance. We only had to seperate them for a little bit becasue my son was really tired and crabby. But overall it went well. The one thing I did notice is that well, now I am not sure if the issue stems from the ability to share or is it more about claiming and finding their place in the new pecking order? The reason I am thinking this is because no matter whose toy it is, if the other picks it up, the other wants it immediately and it gets even more complicated when there are ownership rights to the item. I watched my son grab our giant exercise ball, (that is OURS by the way, the parents), and immediately, our daughter ran over to the ball and tried to take it away from our son. So if he has it, she wants it and vice versa. I still have much learning to do in this area. Any thoughts on this? I feel like if I understood the psychology around this behavior then maybe I could figure out how to curb it or change it.