She's telling her dad she doesn't love him, gonna run away, etc.
So I have been dealing with disrespectful, dishonest SD (adopted last year), but now I am working 2 pt jobs and DH has been playing dad 4 nights a week. We have set the rules. I have always been consistent. He wasn't. He realizes now the brat he has created so now he is being consistent. She has already been in trouble for lying to teachers in the 2nd week of school!! Of course another dozen lies came next. So she has been getting spanked and writing definitions (respect, obey). She is sssooo pissed at her dad. She says she hates him, doesn't love him, gonna run away, etc. He is so pissed and hurt. I have stayed out of it cause I just had a busy week of working extra hours. I am glad that he realizes now that we have to be consistent and united. but now what??? Nothing seems to work. He says hopefully it will get better with time. She's 11. I am worried about the next few years!! Any advice??
Sound and fury
You know that Shakespeare quote, "Its all sound and fury, signifying nothing."
She is complaining because of not having rules before - she is hoping to get out of the rules. Too bad! You are the parents and she is the child - she has to mind you!!!
Tell her you have the rules because you care about her - and that she needs to keep that in mind when she says these hurtful things! because your patience does have limits
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Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale
Her infinite variety.
William Shakespeare, "Antony and Cleopatra", Act 2 scene 2Lots of making up to do.
If the two of you hold firm the turn-around will be measured on one hand in months not years.
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There's an exception to everything I say.
The counselor said give her a voice
So yesterday she lied to me and slammed the car door in my face. So we talked about it with her dad and asked her how she felt about it before she got the spankin. She wouldn't talk to me just dirty looks. Then as soon as I leave the room she has plenty to say about me to her dad. I told her it is hard for me to try to be her mom when she shows me no respect and won't talk to me about her feelings. When I walked away she asked her dad "is that what you are going to do too?'' Her BM walked away too. Give me a break. I feel like I am the one trying but she has to play the poor, poor pitiful me card with her dad.
not sure about the spanking
He is southern Baptist so he does what "The Word" says. I don't spank her. I think she is too old and I don't feel like starting now would be a good idea. I spank my 2yr old sometimes. DH thinks that if he is consistent she will stop the lies and talking back. Well, she got spanked for lying last night and has already lied about 3 times tonight. Another spanking. My head hurts and DH is crying. This really sucks.