Tired new Stepmom...what did I sign up for?...HELL thats what.
I joined this group about 8 weeks ago and vented some bio-mom issues (excessive child care duties when we pay her child support).... Well I have not been on the site for a while as the events in the house have taken a turn for the worst.
Bio-mom is not allowing SD to come over anymore and is willing to go to court to gain full custody,we havent seen SD in a couple weeks now and husbsand is beside himself...last time husband had a battle wither her it cost 10,000 in legal fees... MONEY WE DONT HAVE for another go-around in court.
Husbands parents talked to Bio-mom and their ex-daughter-in-law stated that as long as I'm in the house the child wont be coming over, the SD has stated to all the family that she adores me and likes to be around me but the bio-mother has firmly stated she has an "issue" with that...bio-mom has pullled this on my husband before long before I was in his life. We/grandparents have had SD 70% of the time....BUT, soon as I FOUND OUT I WAS PREGNANT and the ex-wife got wind of it via SD, holy hell broke loose, and the 12 year old Skid upset over the pregnancy also but mad at her father not me it seems. I have done my research on "parental alienation" and it seems we have a clear case of that. Bio-mom is also banning all contact with grandparents (husbands parents)just to rub in the salt.
My husbsand and myself have been married a year, and the marriage started off LOADED with stress, moving, finacial, me adjusting to having a skid, me getting laid off work, and us/the family being at the beck and call of his ex-wife 5-6 days a week for child care...we havent had a week-end away or honeymoon yet, we hit the ground running from the get-go.... and we have been married a year...husband and I are exhausted.
This along with everything else has caused major stress in the marriage and it seems the bio-mom is making everyone choose between her child and me. Before I came along the ex-wife and skid were the center of the universe in this family, I think bio-mom is threatened that she no longer holds the #1 slot (golden uterus complex)
my husbsand and his ex-wife are fighting now, I'm feeling horrible, grandparents are devastated...its a big damn mess....the father/child relationship was real good now child seems to be turning her back on the dad now also.
To my relief (hate to say it) the pregnancy ended in miscarriage just resently, I was almost 7 weeks.
some days I want to call this marriage a day, my life was so calm and easy before...if I knew then what I know now...you know what I mean?
I'm sorry to hear you are
I'm sorry to hear you are having such a hard time.
I wouldn't split over SKs as you are letting BM and sk win.
What is DH sayn he wants to do?
How would you feel about FULL custody?
How is yur marriage aside from this?
Yes, I know exactly what you
Yes, I know exactly what you mean. I joined this site just last night. I had nowhere else to turn. I've been married not quite a year yet and I can't get myself to run for help to my family and friends. I keep thinking things will get better.
All this to say, I feel your hurt and pain. When you say exhausted, I know what you mean. The one difference in my scenario is the my husband and his ex are on great terms (they weren't when we were dating and just gotten married). So for me, it brings more anxiety as I feel they have bonded together quite nicely and I'm on the sidelines watching the events unfold.
The ex sounds miserably unhappy, and she wants you to feel that way too. I hope you are able to grow stronger together with your husband through all of this.
Best wishes.
FWIW.. Bio-mom has to go by
FWIW.. Bio-mom has to go by the terms of the divorce papers.. The grandparents have rights as well (I recently learned this one) With Bio-mom going on a rampage maybe everyone effected can go through the legal system together.. That helps with the cost,, and I would counter sue her butt for whatever the system will allow..
What bothers me the most is that you,, and anyone affiliated with you,, are being punished,, because your a good person,, and I bet money that your feeling responsible for the whole mess.. Well dont,, it would have happened anyway but with a different subject. Continue to be what you are and dont give up your marriage, your happiness or your rights to a spiteful hateful ex.. Find a way to take her to court and bust her chops..!