My BF of 4 years has a 13 year old daughter. We do not live together. Because of each other family responsibilities, with see each the only a few days a months, sometimes only the odd evening. For 3 years, we did not introduce each other to kids as we did not want to rush things.
He is a very kind and committed father.

However, when we are together, his 13 year old daughter sits on his lap at every opportunity, comes from behind and embraces him, clings to his arms, takes his hands and does little twirling dances and so on. This will happen at home and out. It is, with no exaggeration, almost constant. They sometimes disappear in the bedroom for some time and remain behind closed doors for a 'tickle session'. She follows him around and seem very watchful of him not having a second by himself close to me. Watching TV cannot be done without laying on the couch together legs and arms entangled, cheek to cheek, her caressing him. She sometimes sleeps with him.

When she is at her mother's , there is frequent texting, calling, even skyping. He used to answer the phone even in the most intimate moments. That I finally had to put an end to, by threatening to leave next time this happened one more time. So when the phone ring while we are in bed, he still takes a look, announces 'it is my 13 year old calling However since it upsets you so much that I talk to her, I I will not answer her call. ..... :?

I feel very uncomfortable in their presence and find their conduct inappropriate and embarrassing. I simply don't know how to handle myself, where to look, while this goes on. It has gotten to the point when I am avoiding seeing him with his daughter. The few family members who have met them had the reaction: 'Ewe, what's going on here, and how can you stand this?'

I have kids of my own, one younger than her. we are affectionate and caring family, but nothing like that. Frankly, if I look around (nieces, nephews friends, no kids that age behaves in this manner.

I understand that the daughter is from a broken family and feels territorial with her father. That being introduced to a gf is traumatic. Which is why it took so long to bring me in the picture. We have made every effort to not make her feel uncomfortable about me: no signs of affection in front of her, never ever any sleeping over when she is staying with her father....I don't blame the daughter. She is a child. I blame him for encouraging this to happen and for not setting proper boundaries with his daughter, especially in my presence. I think he feels some sort of 'gratification' at having this young girl act this way. He will makes comments in regards to how close a relationship he has with his daughter and how much she enjoys being with him.

The times with myself, him and his daughter are quite rare as him and I usually spend time together when we do not have custody of our children. And as I wrote, I avoid being around when the daughter is there.
I am no sure what to do.
- address my discomfort again with him? I did once, he showed some understanding but concluded by saying 'I cannot change the way she is'.
- continue seing him without his daughter. This could become very difficult as he is putting a lot of pressure on the daughter to permanently live with him.
- ending the relationship as I find this situation simply not acceptable and unlikely to change.
- sucking it up and hopes it gets better?

I would love to hear from people with similar experiences!