who deals w/ the bio-mom
My hubby expects me to do the drop-offs and pick-ups. He also expected me to drop SS off at bio-mom's sister's house everyday over the summer for her to babysit. I told him no, if he wants to hire a babysitter that is family to his ex-wife I think he should have to deal with them. I don't like his ex-family. To me they are all trashy people (smell bad, don't shower regularly, don't work, live off of welfare and food stamps, make no attempt to earn money to take care of their children.) I feel like he should be dealing with the ex-family and not expect me to take care of it. I take care of the kid for crying out loud. I pick him up from school everyday, get his homework done, feed him, even when it's his mother's week to have him.
How does everyone else deal with this situation?
Do I suck it up and deal with these people or should I expect him to do it because he arranged it?
thank you
Thank you,
I completely agree. I take my child to daycare and pick her up, and I pick his kid up from school daily so I think if he wants to hire a babysitter that I am uncomfortable with, he needs to be the one responsible for getting him there and back. Thank you so much for your input
I never volunteered
for ANYTHING. His kid, his situation. And not in a nasty way.
I wouldn't of married a man that needed me to help him. I am 1000% serious too. I just couldn't emotionally take it and I know my limits.
I was 50 when I remarried-----------raised my family. He was aware of my way of looking at things.
So, maybe you can negotiate things differently because they don't sound very fair to me. Think of yourself sweetie---people will take advantage of young sweet things.
"Do I suck it up and deal with these people or should I expect him to do it because he arranged it?" LET HIM DO IT. PERIOD.
I have learned....
I used to be a lot like you. Then I got sick of of it and started to make a lot more incovenient.
I learned to make his problem. I learned to make myself NOT at home, somewhere else other than home- Working. Which then made his and Ex-witche's problem to make sure they became their taxi and child sitter.
OMG, I deal with the same thing!
I do all drop offs/pick ups, I also babysit SS myself over the summer while BM works. This was not DH's idea. BM REFUSES to discuss anything with DH unless it's life or death, or legal. BM tries to act like we get along (for SS's sake), but she's really just fake and annoying. She also loves to push my buttons.
I suck it up and just deal with it. (although after a few years of this, I'm kinda over it.) I figure it's better in the long run. And SS isn't dumb. He sees what I do for him, and he knows his mom is crazy-hateful about his dad. So, DH & I end up being the good guys and SS resents BM for being so mean to his dad.
I'm trying to find ways to deal with this too. So far, all I've ended up with are panic attacks.
In our case, BM refuses to
In our case, BM refuses to have any contact with me so if I showed up to drop off/pick up she would probably lunge.
That said, I think this is his issue -- I don't think it is fair to put this on you. Life is hard enough for a stepmom, and I think it probably makes the kids feel bad too.
I do not deal with drop off or pick up....
The ONLY time I will EVER pick up or drop off one of my Skids is A- if SS17 needs a ride into the city and I am already on my way in to work so it's not a special trip for him, B - if my DH is literally sick as a dog and can't drive in to drop his kid off or C- if I'm picking up SD9 at my MIL's. Other than that? Off limits. BM and I can't even look at each other much less be cordial.
I am available to my DH if he really needs me to be. EG: We went to register SS in HS last year, but it was a 2 day process, the 1st day we went together but he couldn't be late to work 2 days in a row so the 2nd day I went for him and I went in to work late. Those instances are few and far between, but I will never do all of these p/u and d/o like some of you. God Bless your souls!!