Why is DH always pushing for more? I will NOT watch that kid while you work!

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Okay so i posted that we had a "breakthru" a good weekend overall (general discussion 'the kid does not run my house after all') and i think things are looking up. well yesterday his mom calls and says that the kid wants to go to his other gpas and to come get him. first off, we werent even home, secondly no way we were gonna drive that far to play taxi. the thing is that we were moving last week, we had told bm that we werent going to get the kid, but hubbys dad went ahead and got him. we ended up taking him for a few days the past weekend, then back to the gpa's house when dh went back to work. SO, sk's been there all week! anyways, after they find out the other gpas arent even home to take the kid from them, they tell us he wants to come back here. well, that isnt gnna work as my hubby i working all weekend and my daughter is gone too. there is no reason for kid to come here just so i can babysit him. IMO anyways. but APPARENTLY that makes me an evil person cuz hubbys dad totally came down on him last night at work telling him that "since you got married you have shunned ur son" ext ext making him feel bad. he knows he hasnt 'shunned' him, but at the same time he doesnst put him first anymore. his dad said awful things like 'you put your church and wife before your own kid" so on and so forth. and yes he does, and my hubby knows that is the biblical order also but he still feels like his dad was just being mean. they all seem to think also that i should watch this kid while hubby works all freakin day/night. im sorry but that is not my job/responsibilty. i feel that since he comes to VISIT and doesnt live here that he should come visit when his dad is home to visit with him. im not a nanny.
SO TODAY, at the lake i say to hubby that since he is working next weekeend too that maybe he should just get the kid on sunday and take back monday, but the other hand that is ALOT of gas for less than 24 hours to see him. so he says "ill just keep him for 4 or 5 days" WHOO! no freakin way! it turned into a huge fight and basically i had a hard time explaining to him how i felt. and i feel that we JUST had our first good weekend. the 1st time that we didnt fight the whole time, the first time the kid was here when my DD was here since he molested her, and that i need time for things to build and not to just be pushed into more and more. he finally says he sees that, but i really dont know if he does or just doenst wanna fight anymore.
the thing is that i believe that HE believes that i should babysit this kid when he works. and i dont think thats fair. he never watched my dd when we were dating and i was working. he would stay at my house sometimes too and hang out while i worked and i still paid a sitter, and she LIVED there! now he wants to physically go get a kid that i have to watch like a hawk around my daughter, dumb him on me and leave for work?! what the heck! and the fact that his whole family thinks i should do it too makes me upset. idk what to do anymore. when i think ive won a little peace, smth else comes up

I wouldn't watch a kid that

I wouldn't watch a kid that molested mine, he's lucky you even let the kid come over after that. Don't let others run your house.

right?! thats what im freakin

right?! thats what im freakin saying! thats what i reminded him of today. i really just wish this kid would move like sooo far away that we only had to see him like once a year lol

I don't know the background

I don't know the background to your story, but if anyone - kid or adult, relative or not - had molested my daughter, I wouldn't allow them within a million miles of her again. I don't know how you cope with him being at your house after that, I know I couldn't! Never mind what your dh or his ignorant dad think - your daughter's safety has to come first and I would stand your ground. Don't let them pressure you or make you feel guilty. This kid has proved he cannot be trusted and why should your poor daughter have to suffer his company while you're playing the role of unwilling nanny, just because the kid's dad and grandad are selfish, thoughtless people. If they want him, they should be the ones taking responsibility for him, not dumping him on you.

Your SS molested your

Your SS molested your daughter, and he is still allowed in the house? I don't think that would even be allowed, for your daughter's sake. I would tell my DH that he is will have to spend time with his son outside of the home. Is your daughter your husband's child? Not being rude:

I guess I shoulda added that

I guess I shoulda added that he is 7years old. He had her in a closet with his pants down trying to get her clothes off telling her it was a "bad game" and "dont tell your mom". to me that is molestation, to some it isnt. i was molested for years of my childhood by my SF so im super sensitive to it. he always has come the weekends DD is at her dads, but im trying to get used to him coming back around her (*always supervised though of course) so we can have at least a few days a month kid free lol. but yea, im not watching the little brat!

That is molestation to me. I

That is molestation to me. I don't think you are over sensitive because of your past: I think it just makes your radar very, very precise.

He told her it was a bad game and not to tell. That says it all right there. Even if he learned this behavior because he was abused himself, that's sad for him, but no reason to put your own child at risk.

I would put my foot down and say this kid can not be in my house.

For the record, I was molested as a child, and although it was "just" touching, it has scarred me and changed me forever. I would not wish this on any child.

I agree. Regardless of his

I agree. Regardless of his age, your SS said it himself "It's a bad game and don't tell your mom". That tells me he fully understands he was doing something wrong.

oh trust me, i understand,

oh trust me, i understand, and if i had my way he'd never ever ever step foot in this whole house again! but i dont. it sucks. im even more fearful that as he gets older he will just be a little pervert but what can i do? divorce isnt an option and he insists on seeing his kid. problem is i am NOT keeping him while he works lol