The dreaded call
Hello everyone. A phone conversation with BM this morning left a bad taste in my mouth...but I'm fighting that it doesn't ruin the rest of my day. After not seeing her daughter for almost a year in December...I thought that it would be good for her to now share responsibilities on the upbringing of her daughter so I called her. She called me back but my phone didn't ring so she started leaving these crazy texts under the pretense that she hasn't bothered me or my husband. ( but she's gone back in my FB page after I deleted her and liked a bunch of my pics just last week.) I sent her one nice text explaining that I thought she'd like to see her daughter. She calls back and I keep the convo short. It was all about her plans blah blah and she agreed to keep her daughter for Thanksgiving. But I can almost see now why my DH hasn't want SD to see her Mom & why is has been trying to force a relationship between me and SD. That women was dramatic & crazy. And the sad part is that I live with her mini-me fulltime. I just thought making her share responsibility would allow me to get to know my new husband ...who is usually tied up being a Mom and Dad to BM's mini me. We don't have any kids of our own yet . Maybe that would make it better but in my soul I'm deeply concerned that my SD his alleged child is not a good person . Just like BM...professional liar, manipulator and crazy. I'm uncomfortable when she is at my home alone . She is 11. I've known her for about 5 years . Married to dh for two. She has destroyed a couple items of my personal furniture . When I asked DH if we should get her help he almost cussed me out. Then he calmed down and asked her too. I'm not sure what to do.
Seriously? You made a huge
Seriously? You made a huge mistake by deciding to reach out to your husband's ex-wife.
In a blended situation it's crucial to know what your role is, and is not. A step parent's job is to support their spouse in handling their baggage and responsibilities. Calling his ex and attempting to alter current custody and visitation arrangements is not your right or responsibility. You thought, you decided, you arranged...well how nice. You think you've gotten rid of your SD, but all you've done is interfere and open the door for crazy BM to return.
Don't be surprised if your husband is furious with you for meddling and attempting to manipulate things for your own benefit. He has every right to be.
Your DH is the problem in
Your DH is the problem in your blended family situation. Not BM and not the Skid.
Rather than reach out to BM, smack your DH in the back of the head and tell him to put his foot up BM's ass and his spawn's ass or you will. If he fails to find his testicles, put your foot up all three of their asses and show them they have a choice. Fix their toxic bullshit of live a life of abject misery that you will rain down upon them.
And .... have fun either way it goes. }:)
The BM is not an ex-wife and
The BM is not an ex-wife and he didn't even consider her a girl friend. Also I've talked with him about this in the past and he said it was my choice to make.
Thanks
I agree- no more
I agree- no more communication with BM. I was not comfortable with my SD alone in the house due tofalse accusations she had made about me that DH could defend that they never happened because he was there. From that point on she was not allowed in the house if DH wasn't there. She had to go to Mom's or Grandma's house. She has since gone back to live with mom, at least until the next eviction, and she still is not allowed over if DH isn't there.