I live w a 13 yr old bipolar stepson and his mother. When I first met 13yr old... he was spoiled, lazy, mouthy, did and said what he wanted and he was only 7/8 at the time. Was kicked out many daycare's, private school, 24hr fitness daycare you name it. His mom told me when he was just 5, he snuck out of the house at 3a and took his 3 year old brother with him. The neighbor called the cops brought the children back the 3yr old w out a diaper. She had to re-key the whole house. Fast forward to the future. I come along and we get married, we buy a house and I told wife i'm not allowing this behavior, you have to work with me on correcting this before it's too late. After 5 years of battles and moms inconsistent parenting patterns we are at square one again. SS does and says what he wants... controls our house, i have to put a lock on the pantry because he sneaks in and gets food in the middle of the night. He manipulates his mother, he gets whatever he points at, he is an extreme smart mouth to me and his mother. It doesnt matter if you tell him 15 times not to do one thing, he's going to keep doing it saying "i didnt know" or "I cant help it" he has NO chores no responsibility and a maid cleans his room. You find candy wrappers, food, things he has stolen from the living room in his room. Because of the fact he was diagnosed bipolar recently is a reason i feel his mother lets him do and say as he pleases. Our marriage is in such distress because i see constant bad behavior from this child, she says she sees only positive from her son. I feel his mother may be more in love with him than me. He threatens to commit suicide if he gets punished (because he saw it on youtube how to get out of trouble with your parents) and she lets it all slide. He almost had charges pressed against him defacing school property so mom calls me crying, i told her we would get through it and i took off of work with her to help rescue him. Without me she would have fell apart and crumbled. He threatened suicide once more to get out of punishment for this, and it worked. He is currently on different meds and has changed from a mopey troublemaker to a hyperactive smart mouth know it all enabled brat! One extreme to the next. The good child, the minute he messes up mom hands his butt to him ohhhhhh but not the precious 13 yr old. He never does ANYTHING wrong. It's to the point now she is completely mad at me and wont talk to me because when we went on vacation 13 yr old tried causing a rift between all of us by clanking on his glass, opening 4 packs of sugar... smacking with his mouth wide open which he has been told over and over not to do at the dinner table. The child does not know or care or is too lazy to brush his teeth, tie his shoes and chews holes in his clothes and in his backpack. He wipes food on his arms and all over his clothes, he goes to school and gets ink and paint and rubs it down his clothes. We are CONTANTLY buying him new clothes and shoes because he wont tie his shoes until the show laces fall out and he drags his feet across the concrete because he is too lazy to pick them up! Mom gives into all of this and wont teach him any better, then when I do it because i get frustrated a 13 going on 14 year old should know how to do this, she gets mad at me!!! Hell he knows how to operate a cell phone and an xbox... why not wipe your butt and brush your teeth? i'm viewed as the harsh parent and because I have spoke up to my wife, she wont talk to me and has stated I have hurt her feelings. She sees no wrong in the child at all. Im trying to help him be a man! Where am I going wrong? No consistency in parenting with a bipolar mom, and no consistent behavior with a bipolar step son.