Feeling frustrated
I'm a new parent/step-parent and I love my SD, but at time I get so frustrated and agrivated just at her flack of common sense. I was not around for the formative developmental years of 0-3, and I can only comment that it appears she did not learn how to do anything for herself!!! Simple things like tyiong her shoes she forgets at 8yrs old!!! I have to go behind her to make sure she wipes after using the restroom. We have full custody and her and I have a great relationship, but I am constantly on her for something simple, like brushing her hair, wearing clothes appropriate for the weather, or just wsearing pants that aren't to short....its like she doesn't get it! Am I having to high of expectations for a 8 year old or am I correct in my thoughts that she has been waited on hand and foot and never learned???
Nope you are most likely spot
Nope you are most likely spot on. If the biological parents either don't do a damn thing for their kids or they do EVERYTHING for their kids, the kids don't learn. My SS7 is going to be 8 in February and I had to go over proper utensil/table manners with him again - Don't stab your food and grip your fork like a hammer so you can take bites from the side of the food. He handles chicken like it's a popsicle on a stick! Please be patient but FIRM and guide her in the right direction. Hopefully you will be the positive influence on her and she won't turn out to be a wreck of an adult.
And yes, I taught SS7 how to tie his shoes, brush his teeth properly, and how to ride a bike. I am the only one that makes him change his clothes if they are disgusting and/or too small.
Another vote for spot on. It
Another vote for spot on. It seems today's "parents" don't want to teach their kids anything for fear of NOT being their kid's BFF. Then there are the guilty parents, usually biodads, who feel that because they are NCP they "don't want to spend what little time they have with their children training or disciplining them" (TM) or that the "BM won't LET me discipline/train my own children" (TM). Add these two factors together and you have a tsunami of disfunction.
The children start to fail at small social etiquette/basic life skills, then academically (can't have Suzy do her own homework--it's toooooo haaaaarrrdd and yucky!) then fail at life when right and wrong was never taught. Soon they are off to orange jumpsuit land or just plain FTL (failure to launch) aka living at home in mommykins basement playing vid games into the late twenties.
This is my life too. My SS7
This is my life too. My SS7 will act helpless and people jump in to do things for him - except me. Everything he wasn't taught, I'm having to teach him now.
It gets old.
So old!!!!! It makes me
So old!!!!! It makes me question at times if my SD8 is emotionally on target.
thanks!!!!! It is so
thanks!!!!! It is so refreshing to know that I am not alone!!!! I really do try not get to frustrated with her, but I have "those" days!!!! To be fully honest it isn't BM that is making things difficult it is the BM's family....as well as the my husbands mother. At home her room is her responsibility at her aunts her room gets cleaned for her. At home she eats what is cooked at least tries 3 bites...which has led to a discovery that she likes more than just chicken nuggets:) At her aunts it's chic filet, McDonalds, and Wendy's. Not only at the house but her aunt takes it to school!!! I have talked with the aunt about developing responsibility, but I'm talking to a 62 year old woman who buys my SD somewthing new almost daily as she is the daycare provider. My husband will not speak up!!! He feels indebted to her, as she took care of my SD during his first marriage whenever he was out of town for work, or whenever bio-mom was having a mental break down/just wanted to party for 5 days moment. IU get frustrated whenever SD comes home with new stuff!!!! I want to throw it out the door or tell her to keep it at her aunts house.