New step fathers,

From experience, I was unable to have children and after my 1st wife and i divorced was left to face the world of dating at 37 and the possibility of meeting women with children. After years of dating and failed connections, I met my current wife and fell in love. Yes, she had a 2 year old and a 5 year old. WOW, from any single guys eye and I saw it the same way you are thinking right now. I vowed to give it a try because my wife was vibrant, educated, family oriented, and intrigued me in many ways. We lived apart until we became committed and yes, i had the same concerns as every step father on this site (respect as a sd, love, etc...) I would slowly start spending weekends visiting allday but not staying over to acclimate me into the fatherly situation. I became messmerized how another man could leave such a loving situation with a beautifully educated woman and two incredibly gifted and caring children. It baffled me! After a year of dating I was sold on the fact that I could handle anything that came my way. Let me say, that we never had any interaction from the bio father during this first year and I thought that to be strange. After engagement, the bio father presented himself as a jeolous person who refused to communicate with me in anyway and when he did it was in a bullying fashion (those are my kids, etc..). I stayed professional and to this day have no communication with him. I refuse to fight or fuss in anyway. I treat my 2 sd with compassion and because they were so young when I entered the picture treat me as more of a bio dad then they do him. I love them and care for them as my own because they are with us 99% of the time. I can certainly put up with the 1% of hate that he has for us. All in All I love my family and know within my heart that I made the right choice and followed God's lead directly into my wife and step daughters live.
Moral of this story, do your homework, investigate, love, and by all means, treat everyone as their your own or you will suffer misery. you came into the situation and created a family, and you are awesome for that. Jealousy is a sign of a job well done because they wish they were you or doing what you do!
STAY STRONG!