Hi to all and it is sure good to see that other people have all these issues and that I am not the "only" one.... I have been a SM for nearly 12yrs. Her parents were separated when she was 3 and I met her when she was just over 4yrs old. She is now 15.. and I really do not what has happened. We have a,ways had a wonderful relationship, though it wasn't as a mother and yet it wasn't as a friend, it was a relationship I could never name it.. but we got on really well. She has never seen me as her mother (thank god!). She doesn't live with us, so she has always come to visit. We have spent weekends together, vacations and we got on great. Her father could never communicate to her when she was younger so she and I did a lot together. As she grew up her father seemed to able to communicate better but she was distant. Her mother, well hmmmm where the hell do I start!! Let me see if I can keep this to a minimum, she never really cared for her daughter, all she ever worried about was living her own life.. that's what she used to say to her daughter when she was just a little girl. A very impulsive and complusive liar, was never an educator or a mother as such, (I used to treat her hair lice as a little girl cause it just disgusted me and broke my heart when a 6yr old just could stop scratching)... I never had any interaction with the mother cause her atitutde with her daughter was totally against my values and just thought and still do that she is a totally bitch so it is best for to me to stay away (safer). My SD is now 15 and for just over 2 yrs she has started to lie to all of us.... Ever since she was a little girl I always told her the storry of Peter and the Wolf cause with a mother like hers she was bound to come out as a liar.. I always used to harp on the fact that it is always best to tell the truth cause lieing always brings you more problems... But hey she obviuosly didn't want to hear and plus her surroundings are just lies so she fell into the same pool. When I found out about this HUGE lie, I got very upset, angry let down all together... When I saw her after she spoke to her whole family on both sides, I just exploded badly and told her off so bad that I started to feel bad about all the things that came out of my mouth!.. But she has to know that she cannot do these things without paying the consequences.... Not due to this incident, but to reasons unknown to the whole world, her relationship with my De-Facto has plumetted. She never was close but she just hasn't contacted him at all for the last 4 months... and so the same with me. Tried to call her like 20 times but I had no luck. Just found out that she thinks I am too harsh on her and that she doesn't have the same relationship she does with her father's sister (to which she also hasn't had much contact with, nor her grnadmother - the whole family heart broken for 4 mths!)So, as she cannot deal with people telling her truth my De-facto's sister wants to respect her neice's cries of not saying the things she doesn't want to hear because she doesn't want her to cut all contact with her..... Am I going crazy or what!.. I mean am I going to lie and have this ficticious relationship cause the 15yr kid can't handle the fundamentals of life?? I will do it if it mean my de-facto wants this but I am totally against it. How is she suppose to know what the real life is about when we all lie and cover her eyes from what life is? I just can't seem to comprehend that. I am over exaggerating??? Will SD get over this stage and maybe it is best to go with that?? I just can't see the good in all that and plus it just feels so wrong for me and fo SD.... Love to have some insights as my defacto's sister is single and obviously looks to her relationship with her neice....