Can you explain what you mean by physically fighting? I mean is it like your husband tries to spank him and your son hits him back?

Make a GREAT Day!

If bd won't go to counseling, it doesn't mean that you and your son can not go to work on things. When my ss lived with us, we took him to counseling when he didn't want to go see his mom, and she wouldn't go either, she showed up the first meeting, but never again. Just b/c bd doesn't go doesn't mean that a therapist won't have a few solutions for you and your son to work on that will help with bd. And maybe, it will encourage bd to go...sometimes the counselors will call the other parent to get them to go, and it's hard to tell a 3rd party no sometimes.

I can tell you what worked for me. I have a SS that I love very much; he was abusive and hateful to everyone in the house. Tried talking with him, counseling and all kinds of things.

After all that was done. I did what I should have from the beginning.
I sat down with him and my husband and explained to them both that domestic violence is illegal and there is a thing as elder abuse. If the police needed to be called to explain to them their rights, that is exactly what I will do to keep respect and order in my home.

The first time, after that talk, that a problem arose, I did call the police. The police came out and explained to them both that they will be accountable for their actions.

Yes it was difficult to do, however, sometimes it is the only way to control a child. If your current partner/husband can’t find a way to keep peace in your house, he may react in a fiscal way. You should be the one to talk to your husband about the rules and respect level in your home and work together to find a happy resolution. Your child will grow up and appreciate having parents that give him rules to lean on. I have found that my stepchildren needed that security to feel safe and less responsible for things that didn’t turn out right.

This wicked step mom now gets hugs and respect in our home. Don’t give up you deserve to have both your loved one with you. You can do this. Just stay logical and give it time, they will not like changes at first, stick to your guns.