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I really don't know how to handle this

Phyllis's picture

My SS that is now 17 lived with his father and I from the age of 3 until he was 14 when he went back to live with BM. He has done nothing but fail since then. He has exactly 1/2 credits for high school. For the past 2-3 weeks he has been calling us because he won't go to her house after school. He calls and wants us to feed him because he is hungry. BM does not let him be in her house without her - he does not have a key. I received a called Thursday a.m from SS's ex-girlfriend that he stays with now and then. She said SS was flipping out and had multiple personalities. My husband went and picked him up and brought him back. He is acting weird and says he is "Mike" sometimes. Othertimes his real person "M" shows up and he is fine. I talked to his older brother who says they dropped acid on his birthday about 13 days ago. I don't know what to do. SS tried to commit suicide in August and we paid for his short stay at the posital which ended up costing us ~$6,000 and it was for nothing because he really didn't try to commit suicide but I think it was a cry for attention or help. IMHO I think this is also a cry for help or attention, but I just don't know what to do. Since raising him and his brothers for ~13 years I have been in counseling and haven't found a good one I feel would do him any good. Please I would love some suggestions.

giveitago's picture

I sympathise with you, did SS ever display any problematic behaviors while you were raising him? Here's hoping it is a one off incident. I would try humor, like, 'You were out your tree for a while there buddy, who is Mike?' Make analgagies to people under the influence and the laughable things they do and say and try to pass it off. If he gets defensive then you might have a bigger issue. I think sometimes kids emotions can become unmanageable when there is a bad influence, like BM. Why will she not let him in the house? What is she afraid of? That could negatively affect the balance of SS's emotions too. I am sure that you have a million and one questions in your mind! Try to get answers to them bit by bit and I would not try to pressure SS immediately but he really should be accountable for his taking acid and the effects of that, including the anxiety you feel right now.

Phyllis's picture

She will not let him in the house or have a key to the house because he has stolen money, items whatever. This is a kid who since leaving us has been kicked out of every school in our rather large city and some in the suburbs. BM had meth in her body when each one of precious children where born. His older brother sells drugs. SS has ADHD. When he started having issues at our house was because I had him on ADHD medicine and he started smoking pot. Took him to the doctor and the doctor virtually slapped his hand and said "oh don't do that"!!! I started talking to him last night about split personalities and he said "Mike" has been around for a while, just hadn't taken over before. I told him normally this happens to people who have very very bad childhoods, like abuse. He said I was mental abused by both my mom and dad by their always yelling and saying bad things about each other. It was quite enlightening and I dropped the subject. Last night I cried thinking I really let this kid down. Now, I am trying to get him into counseling, but finding a GOOD counselor is very hard. Thank you for responding.

Most Evil's picture

Not to seem insensitive, but could drug use be a factor? I used to know a lot of them, and they did things like this too . . ? Sorry but I know you are worried and may want to know?
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