Thanks, everyone. I feel a little more sense of normalcy this morning! Calypso and Ugh, I agree, in the 80s the sorority girls were different, partied all of the time, etc. I think SD19 just thinks it will be an easy way for her to get a job. LOL The only way to get a job is build on your experience little by little, I say. Nothing automatically falls into your lap. SD19 thinks she's going into the medical field, but the field she wants isn't in high demand like it used to be. She's only going that route because her boyfriend told her she could make a lot of money that way. Hey at least she'll have the wardrobe, right? LMAO Whatever....
To answer Orange, SD13 is a late bloomer, just started puberty "yesterday." She is a confused Skid going through an identity crisis. It's like having a 7yo at home. Her monthly visitor just paid a visit again this week for the second time in her life, so she keeps asking me questions. I am supportive. Sally, you are a riot! I just get so pissed at SD19 because she can't use $5 of gas in her car to go see her boyfriend, can't pay a library fee of $3 but she can shop till she drops for clothes. Oh well, sooner or later her savings will run out and her fast food job won't be able to support her lifestyle, lol. I already have SD13 do a lot of yucky chores like scoop the huge yard, wipe Sdogs' pee off the floor. She is very delicate and quits after about a minute of anything. I tell her to put some muscle into it. TGIHB, miracle that your DH said he would have to check Piglet's math grade. He should have Piglet check it. Oh wait....that won't work because our DH's do everything for their kids. It's easier than hearing them whine.....
Aswang, SD19 is at an honors college. She talks the talk about a lot of things but never follows through because it takes too much effort. She wanted to continue playing field hockey in college and quit after only two games, she went to a career fair all dressed up becasue "some people will hire you right on the spot!"
}:) }:) }:) Bwahahahahaha!!! }:) }:) }:) Yes, Skid but you need to have experience at more than making fast food. Gheez! SD19 wants everything handed to her.

I have a 5-day break at the end of the month but I'll be going to appointments and taking the dogs to the vet. At least I won't have the commute. I need to start looking on the bright side, because I know things could be a lot worse. I'll just stay disengaged from the Skids as best as I can and concentrate on DH.

ETA: Thanks, Cat, just saw your comments. This is exactly what I have been thinking, that I need to take care of me before it's too late. I'm afraid to ask HR but they know I'm a machine and will still get my work done. I could work 4 longer days, maybe 34 hours a week or so. Not too hateful as long as I still get my benefits. We'll see.

~ Moon

I feel bad for SD13 but I can't help but giggle some. All of this boy stuff and here comes her monthly visitor for the second time after only 90 days of waiting or so? When she told me it was here again, I looked at her and said "C'mon estrogen!" I told her she couldn't fight Mother Nature..... }:)

~ Moon

My Diet Coke just went up to the back of my mouth and some even made it thru to my nose!!

You guys are the best!! I have to go blow my nose now.......

So an update....SD19 made it into the sorority at her honors college and DH told her he would move money from her savings to checking for her. He keeps saying it only costs $350. Yes, in the beginning, but when you put gas in the car and eat on the road after a day of charity work, or you go to the craft store to make a costume and props for a variety show, or a bus trip to NYC to shop for the weekend.....it adds up with all of the activities. They'll both see. He asked if I was the know-it-all esp since I never rushed a sorority. I told him I never rushed because I wasn't one of those girls that rushed at my in-state party school. I also said I didn't have the time or money to invest in it, so I never rushed. I didn't drink in college, either so why bother, lol. Good news is, I think SD19 will be at school and not slinking home on weekends now. She has mandatory meetings for the next few months, and besides she just bought all of these new friends for $350. Wait until they find out what a bitch she is. Everything is fine until she is asked to do something. Damn wanna-be skid. At least she won't be around here......I haven't reminded DH or SD19 that next weekend is niece's bridal shower. Not my damn problem. I don't know SD19's schedule, and DH showed her the invite right in front of me. I didn't RSVP for her, either. }:) }:)

So last night SD13 who wants to be a boy said that school pictures were this week. DH told her to wear something nice, no t-shirts in the school picture. Seriously DH, have you seen what SD13 wears? She has no clothes. So we took her to the department store today for a boys dress shirt to wear in the picture and then we started the endless hunt for jeans that might actually fit. The best fitting ones were in the petites dept. but she didn't like those and started bitching. Finally I took her back to the boys section and we bought her some that actually fit. Then she started saying she wanted high-top sneakers. I told her she already had a pair that I had seen her wear once. She said she wanted another pair. I looked down at her other shoes she had on and noticed the hot pink shoe laces. I asked her if blue laces would be better? She nodded, so I'm getting her blue shoe laces. I went off to get something for myself and when I returned she had been crying. I think she was whining again when I left her with DH and he put her in her place. She is really confused and weirder than ever, but hopefully she'll be more sure of herself in the next few months. Therapy appointment is tomorrow and she is going to be asked about BM's death. Going to be another tough day for SD13.

So much for being disengaged, huh? My back hurts from being in the department store for two hours looking for jeans and a few tops for SD13. DH is a lucky man. A very lucky man.

~ Moon

Thanks for the comments. Btw Rags, I learned everything I needed to know working at McDonald's at age 16! LOL I hear you on how life experience and who you know will get you to where you need to be. SD19 needs more experience and people around her, so hopefully this is a stepping stone for her into adulthood. SD19 keeps whining, "How am I supposed to get a medical internship when all I've done is work at fast food?" Again, like it's supposed to be HANDED to her. She doesn't like to put forth any effort but I'm sure with the purchase of her new friends, she'll do whatever the sorority asks....Because she WANTS to, because then people might LIKE her. I'm kind of glad I didn't have the internet in the 80's when I was in high school looking for a job. I think it would have made me a lazier person.

I forgot to add to my earlier vent, that SD13 is always asking for SOMETHING. She wants to buy this, that and the other thing from the internet. I tease her about it. WHAT do you want NOW? I laugh at her and she giggles, but I try to get the point across. On my pissy days I just tell her to "QUIT ASKING for shit already!" Now she wants these girly costumes that are popular in the anime world. You'll see an Asian model wearing a long wig and a schoolgirl outfit with a very short mini-skirt. DH had told me about this costume but I didn't see it until I accidentally found an open page on my laptop with the picture of it. The skirt is about 6 inches long starting from....God knows where, but it's extremely short.

So anyway, SD13 is being goofy and cutesy last Thursday night, asking if she can have this costume. DH of course tells me later that he found it on eBay for only $28 dollars and it's a "girl" costume. SD13 would look like a boy in a streetwalker get-up if she wore this. She wants it for Halloween. :jawdrop: Anyway, I pulled DH aside later that evening and said, "You know, your sweet little angel of a daughter WHO ALWAYS WANTS SOMETHING has had an F in English until today. Now she has a C. You might want to consider THAT before you keep buying her shit every other day." I was mad, and sick and tired of hearing SD13 ASK for things incessantly.

Well, I went upstairs to do laundry Saturday night and I hear a discussion downstairs getting heated. SD13's voice gets high-pitched and defensive and DH laid into her. She hated it. Backed into a corner with the usual reply, "I don't know! I don't KNOW why I have an F!" DH told her to speak to the teacher and get it corrected, I'm assuming this is before she gets any damn costume. DH doesn't even know what her size is for goodness sake. I got proof of that yesterday at the department store.

I'm glad DH started looking at her grades, even if it WAS at my urging. He is still in training, I say! }:) I probably should have shut up but I didn't want DH wasting any more money and nurturing another to-be entitled Skid.

~ Moon

So, DH ordered the damn schoolgirl outfit for SD13 off of eBay. I saw the charge hit our checking account. I told him it was ridiculous that we shopped for two hours just Sunday morning in the Boy's Dept for her, and Monday night DH goes and orders this super short mini-skirt outfit for her. His reply was, "Well she's paying for it...." I said, "That still doesn't make it right. She wants to be a boy and we buy her BOY clothes, then she wants a COSTUME to look like a streetwalker and you buy that, her F is still there in her English class...." I told him nicely with some humor, but I got my point across, I said I wasn't going to keep quiet anymore. If shit is wacked, I am going to speak up. I am sick of all of the nonsense going on in my home. I think he believes me, because he is stepping up and showing me texts that he has sent to SD13 about studying, etc. I am still training him on how to hold SD13 accountable for her actions.

SD19 has her sorority pinning ceremony this Sunday night. DH told me he is going, so I had the opportunity to use a line I have seen on here quite a bit. "You should let her spread her wings and fly." Oh he made every excuse for why he should go to the damn ceremony. I reminded him again that she is 19 and to let her find her own way. Nope, he is going, ok whatever.

In the meantime, DH's niece's bridal shower is Sunday and I did not RSVP for SD19. I think DH has forgotten and I don't know what SD19 is doing. I'm not asking. Hopefully, she'll stay at school and skip the entire thing. She is so two-faced to be around. I also hope that SD13 decides not to go to the shower. She's not my kid, I don't want to be responsible for her, I don't even want to go to this event. We'll see how it all pans out.....

~ Moon

"Oh, but it's CosPlay......!" Spare me please. No no no, it's not the French Maid looking one or the one with garters, but I told him if that skirt is too short she is NOT wearing it.

Funny, he agreed "Oh no, she can't wear it to school!"

Then WTF should she be able to wear it on Halloween? I may have to start a nuclear war.

Oh wait, I forgot I'm disengaged.

I reminded DH last night that SD13 still didn't get that F grade changed in English. She had told us that she had forgotten to turn her paper in after working on the computer at school. So, Monday she said she handed it in. The grade still hasn't changed. I poked at SD13 last night during dinner and she kept playing dumb. Then I asked, "What's up with this hoochie mama skirt schoolgirl outfit that DH bought you? " I was smiling and being polite but I was being sarcastic too. I asked her what character she was going to be next week. I reminded her that she had told us she wanted to be a boy and DH had taken her to get the boy haircut, and then the next week she wants the Asian schoolgirl outfit. And then we go buy boy clothes for her. I told her I was confused. I told her I didn't want to come home seeing her wearing a 3-foot long wig with 6 inch miniskirt. I said she would look like a boy dressing like a girl. She got my point and was giggling and trying to be cute, saying guys dress like girls all the time when they do CosPlay. I gave her my "um....yeah...." look. Then finally......

DH told her that he was going to look at the skirt to make sure it wasn't crazy short.

Stay tuned.

~ Moon

Keep in mind that SD13 just turned 13, looks like a boy and acts like a 7yo. Can you tell I'm frustrated with such a dip wit? I just keep calling her out on what a dumbass she's being, thinking every day is Christmas and DH will buy her new outfits. The hoochie mama outfit hasn't arrived yet, and I hope to intercept it before she does. I hope it gets lost in the mail. DH tells me to quit digging at her. I told him a few nights ago that he and his DDs are whacked and if something is nuts, I am speaking out. He is fearing for his life a little more lately and is a little nervous. I told him I have been nice and quiet for too long.

SD13 has today off of school and has about 14 things to do on her chore list, to catch up on. I have had it printed out every Sunday night for the week since the beginning of September. Her overall grades are pretty good, but there haven't been many big tests at school yet, so the spiral will continue downward soon....

I am dreading taking SD13 to the bridal shower this weekend. She buttons her shirts up all of the way. SD19 will be traveling there on her own from school. DH's sister (mother of the bride) called this week to see if SD19 was attending. I didn't RSVP for her two weeks ago. DH texted SD19 and asked if she was going, then asked me what time it started. I looked at him and asked, "Was SD19 not right here at the table with us when I gave you the invite and you showed it to her? Didn't she take a picture of it for her phone so she could email her own RSVP? She is 19, 19! Have her start doing shit on her own already and quit babying her. Gheez!"

Now DH gets to go tot he sorority pinning ceremony this Sunday night. At least that means SD19 will be leaving the shower early. I'm the only one who has the address, too. }:)

~ Moon

I know, that's why I'm pissed. Plus she's a boy, right?

SD19 graced us with her presence tonight. She came home from college to go to her HS football game. She and her BF were both sick and coughing at our kitchen table. I love being around college germs. Whooping cough has also started to spread it's way into our area. SD19 said she needed the address for the shower on Sunday. I'll get it to her when I get it to her. SD19 also had the nerve to say that she needed $5 for tonight. This girl has $3500 in her bank account!! I kept quiet while my brain was screaming obscenities inside of my head. DH don't you DARE get out your wallet. No one answered SD19 for a moment or two and then BF said he had cash. Then I took in some air and suggested she could always go to the ATM right up the street. She said she guessed she could. I mean you drove right past it to get home. Hell-O? Get some money out already. I am so glad DH didn't offer. I didn't want to immediately start an argument, esp with BF there, but at least I spoke up about the ATM.

At dinner, SD13 said she needed to learn not to keep cracking jokes all of the time. I think she realizes that she's becoming a bonafide geek. I asked her why and she just giggled. I wonder if she is getting a hard time from the kids at school. She says she has a 6th grader who adores her because she dressed like a cartoon character yesterday for spirit day. LOL SD13 s an 8th grader. I asked her to say her "boy name" which she didn't know I knew about. She says it in a really nerdy way. Her eyes went wide and she giggled but I could tell she was surprised I knew. She was like, "How the heck did YOU know?" LOL She can sail her own ship in whichever direction she wants these days, but she is just turning into a nervous nerd. It's tough to watch because she really is a beautiful girl, even if her character is a little quirkier these days. And her hair is super short. She kind of reminds me of the middle child from Modern Family, just a petite version. The smart girl glasses and straight brown hair, before she cut it. I am still hoping this all passes.

~ Moon

Earlier in this thread....(9/15/14 - 8:09am)

"You know, your sweet little angel of a daughter WHO ALWAYS WANTS SOMETHING has had an F in English until today. Now she has a C. You might want to consider THAT before you keep buying her shit every other day." I was mad, and sick and tired of hearing SD13 ASK for things incessantly.....

Um, I just checked and the F assignment still hasn't been updated. Furthermore the overall English grade has gone from a C to a 54%. SD13 got a 50% F on a major essay paper. I even asked her about it last week, asked her to tell DH and I what it was about. I asked why I didn't see her working on it at home? She said she had been working on it in class.

If I can keep my damn mouth shut, then SD13 will get an interim report shortly. She can't get anything done on her own, and neither she nor DH are checking her grades online.

All this talk about popcorn on ST lately? Make mine salted with extra butter....

Oh holy shit this is outrageous! Am I a bad person for keeping this quiet? I don't think so. I spoke up about the dinky little classwork paper that had an F. I also spoke up last Thursday when the teacher still hadn't changed the grade because SD13 had "turned it in" all of a sudden. BUT....this essay assignment is weighted for 55% of the class grade. She is down in a well without any water to float her to the top.

~ Moon

DH wasn't home yet and SD13 told me her teacher was going to grade her paper tonight. I thought she meant the dinky worksheet from two weeks ago. She said that wasn't it, it was the essay that was going to be graded tonight, the one that is 55% of her grade. I asked her...." You handed in the essay paper late?" She said yes, what did I think she meant? I said I meant the dinky little worksheet. The essay paper was due on 9/8 and when I asked her about her work she hadn't turned in her essay either. I explained to her that the essay wasn't even listed until last week, and now it has an F next to it as well. I told her she was going to hear more about this from her father. I finally had to call him to see if HE had understood it from the beginning, and no, of course not. Because neither one of them is checking grades online. I ripped DH a new one and asked him what he was going to do? I would have been livid last week, like I am now, if this was over a 300 point essay. Now IT IS over a 300 point essay. I said to DH that what he was going to slap her wrist and have a calm talk with SD13 and keep buying her stuff? Then she'll skip along and do this shit again the next time. Now that I think of it she went to frikkin ComicCon the weekend before this was due. Was she working on it in class? Maybe, we'll never know. I told DH something has to be taken away from her. She needs to wake the hell up. This is like having a 3 year old here! Then she forgot her allergy pill. Then she forgot her Girl Scout dues (yes, Girl Scouts), and then she fell UP the stairs outside of the building where I dropped her off. I did NOT like dropping her off. I had to remind her of about 7 things when I got home just to get her ass in gear.

Dammit I wish I didn't care, I wish I didn't care, I wish I didn't care. Soon enough I won't.

~ Moon

Thank you, Sally. I am trying. I think this is more for DH than SD13 at this point, but I just need to sit back and watch.

And buy a goldfish.

~ Moon

I get so pissed that SD13 is getting rewarded while she is getting bad grades at school. DH is clueless. The hoochie mama outfit arrived today. I hadn't been laying on my bed more than two minutes after work. I had a towel rolled under my neck and feet up on a pillow (FM aching bad, rain coming...).....and there is a knock at the bedroom door. SD13 asks if I know how to tie a tie. I know how. I told her to ask her father later on, I was busy. She had the hoochie schoolgirl outfit on. It's too big, her belly is showing and the skirt is totally see-through, hanging too low. DH said he would check it when he got home. Fine and well, but DH took her iPod Touch the other day because of the 300 point paper that she had an F on. But it's ok for her to parade around in a new outfit? Grrrr makes me mad! And there are more bad grades. Not because SD13 is totally stupid at her schoolwork, but because she forgets to hand in her assignments. It just pisses me off. There's an art project that she forgot to hand in as well. How do you forget to hand THAT in? Times are so much different now than in the early 80s when I was 13. If she had been given a ZERO she would have a D in the class, but in MY county they give you half-credit if you don't hand anything in. So she has a low B now.

Who am I kidding? It's halfway through the first term. She will fail miserably after she stops checking her grades online again. She has stopped checking already, after just one day, because she would have said she saw the F in art and told me of her big plans to fix it. The usual drama.

Last night I asked DH to have her knock it off with asking for shit every other night. I told him it was going to give me a heart attack, esp since she comes into our room as we going to bed. He agreed. So she comes and knocks on our bedroom door and hugs DH goodnight, then proceeds with her usual. I pulled the covers all the way up over my head and she stopped talking. Then I flipped the covers down and said, "What shade of BLUE do you want? Light or dark? You know they're cheaply made." I was being sarcastic but I knew what she was going to ask for. Her eyes went wide and I asked, "You're going to ask about the wig AGAIN aren't you? " DH told her "Not tonight, now go away." LOLOLOL She tried to get a word in edgewise and I cut her off. I told her she had four F's on English assignments just yesterday, one is still there, her iPod Touch has been taken away.....And you think it's ok to ask for stuff right now?! DH told her to go away again, go to bed. SD13 was flabbergasted! She couldn't believe that DH was denying her something. She almost started crying. I told DH she needed to learn to be told "no" on some things. I asked DH why she was on the computer when I got home, and then later I found out that he had taken her iPod Touch. I told her for $5 I would let her use my laptop. She asked, "Really?" I said No. She is a moron skid, but I still care about her. That's why she gets on my nerves so damn much.

Go ask you father, go ask your father.

~ Moon

Omg DH and I just had a really bad argument and we never argue. SD13 came into our room to say goodnight and started asking for her wig again.

I lost my mind and reprimanded her. DH and I are laying there and I asked him if he could start going into her room for good nights because I'm sick of hearing her ask for shit every night. He said she's only asking because he hasn't ordered it yet. Duh, but SD13 is getting things, her iPod Touch will be given back tomorrow after four days, in true DH fashion. I looked at SD13 and said she was spoiled and to stop coming in here asking for things when she has Fs on assignments. I was mean and it's because I'm sick of her drama every night at bedtime in my room. She started stomping out and I said, "Good leave my room, go screw yourself!" She's lucky that's all I said but at least it got her the fuck out.

DH was livid and started screaming at me at the top of his lungs, scared the dogs into hiding. He had the fucking nerve to ask me why I didn't bring this up at dinner? REALLY!? I explained that he and SD13 are the two people who should be checking grades, not me. I told him I've gone through this shit for two years by myself and SD13 should be more responsible. I asked him how he thought I felt when his kid came in every night asking for shit with her head in the sand. He screamed "then let her fail!!" He called SD13 back into our room at which point I left. All I could hear from upstairs was I don't know I don't knooow.

Yeah because you're a moron on your way to being an entitled POS like OSD, you're just too stupid to figure it out yet. This has been the worst night. I am going back into the lion's den. Wish me luck.

~ Moon

Thanks, Sally. I really appreciate your input on this. DH apologized this morning, he said he wasn't mad at me last night, he was just really disappointed in SD13. I will bring up the subject again tonight about SD13 saying good night in HER room, not mine. He hugged her goodbye this morning before school and said he loved her, he just wasn't happy with her right now. Seems that SD13's eye has swollen up overnight so I asked when the last time she washed her sheets was. }:) }:) }:) I took the opportunity to let her know in a roundabout way that she wasn't bathing and cleaning herself enough. Yesterday she didn't brush her teeth in the morning and I ignored it. Last night DH told her to brush her teeth and she was in our room not 30 seconds later. I asked her which TOOTH did she brush in that short amount of time. DH sent her back to the bathroom for a do-over, she has braces and her mouth is getting nasty. Then she she came back in and asked for her wig. That's when the shit hit the fan.....

~ Moon

I figured her eye was all red from crying last night, too. She is like an immature baby. To think that she can still order things from the internet when her grades suck? I told her, "Not in my house!" DH wanted to give her a Benadryl antihistamine this morning but he said that would make her fall asleep in class. What's the difference? She doesn't hand her assignments in anyway. I have looked up pictures of kids' teeth after getting braces off, when they have the white spots where the brackets were. Nasty. DH is stepping up with asking things of her, but he has a problem following through and making sure she does what she's supposed to. Not my problem. The drama has been exciting, }:) but a royal pain in the ass. I asked DH how he thought I felt, me smiling every night when SD13 comes in to hug him goodnight, knowing that she is a total goofball with school assignments? He said he was stressed out that I brought this up at bedtime lmao! I replied, "How do you think I feel every night at bedtime when your "F" assignment child keeps coming in here asking for gifts?" All she has been saying is how great Halloween is going to be. I told her she was going to freeze her ass off with the schoolgirl outfit she had DH buy. It has no sleeves and the skirt is so cheap that it's see-through. At least it covers her ass but it's see-through! I don't know which is worse!

Thankfully, I am on day 2 of a 5-day mini-break. DH and I are supposed to take SD13 to get pumpkins tomorrow. I wish he would just leave her ass at home so we could have time together. I don't care what SD13 wants to do when we get there, I am eating lunch and then heading straight into the corn maze to walk off my frustrations of late! Maybe I can lose then and enjoy the day.

~ Moon

They would be fine together and the outing will be like a reward in spite of all her bad grades. DH keeps sending her the wrong messages, so I made sure MY message was heard loud and clear last night. He yelled so loudly that SDog hid under the bed and another one ran out into the rain and wouldn't come in for hours lol. Poor dogs!

Yes, I will speak with DH privately tonight before he starts his sports watching. He can't treat me like that. But, SD13 had her ass HANDED to her by him and is still in big trouble! }:) }:) }:)

~ Moon