Inappropriate teen behavior
Today my DH's family and I went out for a Father's day lunch. DH sat next to me on one side, and my BIL sat on my other side. Next to him was their 12 year old niece. Throughout the entire meal, DH's niece hung all over BIL - (her uncle) putting her elbow on his shoulder as she talked, touching him, laughing, asking him how tall he was, etc.
Her mom and dad, who were sitting at the end of the table, were busy talking and interacting and I'm not sure they were payig attention to her behavior. Had my niece been a little older, an outsider might have thought she and BIL were a couple.
I was appauled at her behavior and felt she was not only acting way to grown up for a child, and behaving this was w/her uncle was not appropriate. Am I the only one who thinks this is inappropriate or is this the new norm for teenagers? Either way I was slightly disgusted.
From reading all these blogs,
From reading all these blogs, you would certainly get the impression that this is the new "norm" for teen girls. However, when out in public, I never see such PDAs between young girls and older male family members, so it must not be that common.
Your description of what happened, though, is not something that is appropriate at all.
I think, though, I'm going to start my own thread on appropriate behavior. I don't deal with this situation, per se, but have my own concerns about my DD and how she and FDH act.
No this isn't the new "norm"
No this isn't the new "norm" for teenage girls its a symptom of guilty dads who won't tell their daughters NO or they are preverted.
I pretty much spewed out what
I pretty much spewed out what I had to say on the subject already
I think its part guilty daddy
I think its part guilty daddy and part they are still hooked on the kids mom and are transferring their sexual tension to their kid. It is not normal for a young girl to be groaping her dad or other inappropriate gestures and I'm not talking about normal dad,daughter kisses and such and I'm sure many of you know what I'm talking about, I don 't know how any of you stay with men whose other woman is their own daughter
I'll definitely participate.
I'll definitely participate. Good grief. I've also had a situation w/this same niece and my DH. She used to hang all over him, jumping up and down, etc. I told him it wasn't appropriate. But he really got the message when she did it in a public place and people started looking at him like he was a pervert. It embarrassed him beyond words. Sadly her mom never opens her mouth.
I have a buddy with girls and she told me her girls never do that to their own father, let alone a relative because she taught them appropriate behaviors w/male relatives/friends long before they became teenagers.
No, I don't see this as the
No, I don't see this as the new norm. I never see any girls doing this except girls whose parents are divorced...hmmm...and then some others maybe whom I wonder "what the heck is wrong with the parents that they are not stopping this!" I think it is wrong and disgusting...I dearly loved my uncles...I never did this.
Is it sad that I found
Is it sad that I found comfort in not being alone on this issue? About a year ago, my then twelve-year old SD was behaving inappropriately with my thirty-two year old nephew. It was a social setting in our home and most of the adults where engaged in conversation, not really paying close attention to what was going on around us. But at some point I looked over and my nephew was trying to get away from the SD, looking terribly embarrassed. I knew right away what the problem was. As I was moving through a sea of people to address the behavior privately, the SD is continuing to sit in his lap, hugging on him, and attempting to lace her fingers in his. I could clearly see he was beside himself with embarrassment and his girlfriend wasn't impressed either. I politely told the SD that she was entirely too old to be sitting in a grown mans lap; she needed to stop acting like a baby and go play with the other children in her age group. I offered the nephew a hand to help him out from under this obnoxious twelve-year old only to have her say "oh, no, don't go! Please stay here with me!" I then told her that her behavior was very inappropriate and people were starting to stare at her! Then she left to play with the other children. After all was said and done I excused myself outside for some fresh air and to cool off from being angry and the nephew's girlfriend came to thank me. She said the SD had been doing this for quite a while before anyone noticed. She said every time she would try to sit beside her boyfriend the SD would sit in his lap, throw her arms around him and turn her back to the GF. What I want to understand is why or how rather, does a little girl that age know how to manipulate another person like that? Where did she get the idea to taunt another female in an attempt to gain male attention? I mean she's twelve for heaven's sakes!
Anyway, it gets better. After the issue was addressed, several people came to me privately to inform me they too had witnessed the SD's inappropriate behavior and was concerned. I thanked them for their concern and expressed that I would be having a discussion with her father regarding the situation. Well the time came for me to discuss the matter and her father says "Oh Lord, that's her cousin, she's just playing around!" His position was it's no big deal. Well ladies that was a year ago, the SD is now thirteen and was recently caught sending a boy text and Facebook messages planning to arrange the new goodnight kiss among teens these days. Thankfully, her mother was able to catch her before the act took place, this time anyway.
This new thing this year (the teen goodnight kiss) or shall I say several weeks ago is being handled poorly in my opinion. The mother has requested the father pretend not to know the full extent of the messages uncovered, because my SD would be terribly embarrassed. Contact was suppose to be made with the boy's parents and that hasn't happened yet. Some of the SD privileges have been suspended, but that's about it. If this is the behavior that we are dealing with at twelve and thirteen, then what in the hell is coming down the road? I'm concerned that I won't have the strength to tolerate this child's out of control behavior. Remember, this is only a portion of what she does. It saddens me to say this but, my SD is very manipulative, extremely controlling,selfish, she has invented the concept of being sneaky and mouthy to boot. She also has the ability to be very sweet, kind, and giving. She can be a wonderful child, but she has her moments and it's those moments that make me wonder if my husband and I will be able to stand the test of time.