My husband and I have just recently gotten married, I have 2 (4 & daughters both from previous marriage. My oldest only sees her BD every other wkend, if that. My 4 yo sees her BD 2 nights a wk and everyother wkend. But since my husband provides very well for us I stay home and my 4 yo is here every day during the day, we are also expecting our first child together, a son. My SD who is 13, lives w/her mother only like 4 miles away, but we still only see her every other wkend, unless she happens to mention a sporting event or school function that we attend. But, she is not very good at telling us when her stuff is and my husband does not speak w/his ex wife. They have been divorced for 11 yrs this yr.We are having issues w/my SD, her and I are fine, I try to remain the bistander, I do not disapline her what so ever. I do not feel like that is my place, given her age. But, the issue is she is completely unrespectful to her BD/my husband, which I can not stand, he on the other hand will tell her that is not tolerated here but only on occassion. He does every thing for this little girl, she has always had anything she has wanted from her father. Her mother on the other hand does not have the financial freedom, that we have, even though she is remarried and is going to be having her 3rd child here soon. When my SD is here we try to include her in everything we can, try to make her feel like a part of our family. But it is like the harder we try the more she pushes away. I take her shopping buy her everything that she wants, treat her like my BD's and she will leave that Sunday night and have a wonderful attitude. Then come back the next time be lazy and disrespectful, to her father mostly & occassionally to my daugthers who adore her. My husband and I very much want her to want to be apart of our growing family but we just don't know what to do. Her BD also calls her everynight,tells her he loves her, misses her, etc...and she just answers him w/'yeah'...love and miss you too. Everything he asks her over the phone is just 'ya'... I know he is afraid that if he makes her mad she won't want to come over but I am afraid my DB's and our BS together will grow up treating him the same way. We are both just so confused on what to do...