SS9 will eat a huge meal and immediately ask for his after dinner snack. If he persist, no snack that night.

My Skids are not allowed to help themselves to anything other than drinks without permission or they would be doing the same thing.

He needs to set better boundaries. Do not answer the phone just because BM is calling. ESPECIALLY if the skids are with you! She can leave a voice mail. If, for some stupid reason, he wants to engage with her, he hangs up the phone at the first bit of verbal abuse or yelling.

My DH barely EVER had to talk to BM on the phone. Everything was in writing because she would take him to court over every little perceived issue (i.e., things not going how SHE wanted).

Those skids are already experts at playing one household against the other. He shouldn't be allowing it.

I agree with the others that said that it's not so much about being hungry as they likely just wanted to eat. There are plenty of people in this world that eat just to eat, not because they are hungry. Especially if kids see a bunch of good looking food around, they will want to eat it just because it's there.

Food costs money so no, I don't agree that kids are hungry right after eating a big meal and it being mean to tell them no. It sounds like the kids ate enough to last a while and they were given permission to have a snack later. That is completely acceptable. Whether or not they are "bottomless pits" or not doesn't matter. Food costs a lot, there are other people in the house as well, they need to not be gluttons.

ETA: Some above said that soup doesn't fill some people up, but from the original OP, she said this was a hearty soup, so most likely something thick and creamy that is more filling than a broth based soup, plus a huge salad, 3 dinner rolls and 4-5 pieces of watermelon each? That's PLENTY enough food to fill up even a teenager for a little while.

From the mom of a now 20 year old guy, teenaged boys (even 20-somethings) can be bottomless pits...especially if they are in any kind of sport.

That said...from the personal trainer...one of the problems in society today is that we judge what our bodies need by fullness of our gutt, this causes us to overeat. Problem is, one can not be full, yet have had plenty of calories based on WHAT they ate. How many calories a day these kids NEED would be based on how active they are, their weight, etc. The average teenaged boy, if they sit on their arse in front of video games all day and they aren't involved with sports, only needs about 2,500 calories a day. If they are in sports, that amount goes up to about 3,500 TOPS. That would be the number of calories simply to maintain their body weight. Any more than that, and they will start gaining fat. This whole idea of letting a child eat just because they say they are hungry is one of the big reasons we are seeing such an increase in childhood obesity! Most of the time, these kids are just bored...especially the ones who don't spend much time playing outside, and are in front of the TV all the time. Make them drink a glass of water (which is something most kids don't get enough of anyway because it has no sweet flavor to it). Dehydration can often be mistaken for hunger!

Now, I'm going to guess that for breakfast, they probably averaged 3 pancakes, 2 sausage patties, 2 eggs, 1 serving of fruit salad, and 1 serving of cereal with milk. If you add the syrup and butter to that mix, that is 1700 calories for ONE MEAL, and more than 100g of sugar! Now, since I don't know what soup they had, just calculating the rolls, milk, and watermelon, that is another 900 calories, and another 100g of sugar! Now, considering females shouldn't have more than 24 g of sugar a day, and males shouldn't have more than 35 g...yeah...that sugar alone is enough to make me chase these kids out of the kitchen! I could go into the whole science behind what happens when we eat too much sugar...but the short of it is that excess sugar turns to fat regardless of total calories eaten. These kids are going to turn themselves into diabetics! This is HHB's problem...when she eats, she doesn't eat much quality food like meat, veggies, and whole grains...but she can down that soda, slushies, and candy all day long! The result? Even when she hardly eats, she remains overweight to some extent. Even when she does lose weight (by starving herself), she is what you call "skinny fat" because her body fat percentage is still too high.

And to call BM and say that SM is being abusive by not letting them have free reign on the fridge less than an hour after a meal? Seriously? I would be pissed!!! I already know that HHB was crying to BM that we never fed her or that we never had any food in the house because I refused to bow to her demands for junk food and eating out every night. I would cook healthy, balanced meals,and she refused to eat it! She didn't like it...she doesn't like vegetables, she doesn't like any kind of meat other than lunch meat or battered and fried chicken...she will also eat pizza, mac&cheese, any kind of baked good (especially if it contains chocolate), cheese, sugary cereals, chips, and crackers. Sorry...food was provided, and you didn't eat it...not my problem! I always made sure there was sandwich stuff as an alternative.

Wrong for BM to be involved, but teenage boys eat a lot. I don't think their is anything wrong with them looking for more food as long as they ate dinner. My kids eat a lot, so I make sure they always have either cookies or brownies that I make all the time and lots of fruit ready to eat. My BS through HS did nothing but eat. When he left for college our grocery bill went down by 1/2.

Nope. For calling BM and being a couple whiney little biotch cry babies ... no evening snack. Appropriate behaviors result in appropriate results. Inappropriate behaviors receive applicable consequences.

Since they behaved as 6yos they get treated as 6yos. Inform the POS little crybaby biotches that they cost themselves any more food for the day and they can start over tomorrow to see if they get it right on the next try making it perfectly clear that if they get it wrong the most they will get is a slice of bread and a cup of water.

Not only no but .... no .... fucking .... way.

End of discussion, end of problem, until the next time.

When my youngest was in MS and HS, she could eat all day long w/o gaining weight. She's an athlete, so the calories get burned quickly - plus kids that age are generally going through growth spurts - their bodies need the fuel. I would make sure she ate before going to friends' (even if invited for a meal), she'd eat again as soon as she came home. If they were going out? She always had extra cash so she didn't have to worry about ordering too much/someone else paying.

School days? Breakfast on the bus (usually two homemaade breakfast sandwiches), plus three full meals to eat in classes. Snacks for the bus ride home/before practice/games - fruit, veggies, cheese, nuts, etc.

I can tell you soup (no matter what all was in it) and salad would not have kept her full for long (it doesn't keep ME full for long!).

It is possible to eat too much. We had a super bowl party when BS20 was about 11. The kid would not stop stuffing his face! When we told him to quit, he sent his friends out to sneak food to him in his room. What happened? Within 48 hours, his appendix ruptured! I asked the doctors if gorging himself with food could have caused it, and they confirmed that it could have.

Needless to say, BS20 made the association himself (I ate too much, got so sick I had to have surgery), and never ate like that again! He eats 3 meals and a snack. If he is studying for finals, he will have a second snack at around 10-11 p.m. to get him through til 2-3 a.m. He has learned how to tell if he is really hungry, or bored...and he doesn't like eating to the point of feeling too full, because it reminds him too much of that time of his ruptured appendix. Yeah, he knows the appendix is gone and he can't hurt it again, but nope...doesn't like that feeling in his tummy any more.

I have 4, ages 15, 16, 17 and 17. They all eat like crazy. I think that bm calling and chewing you out is b.s. though. you need to disconnect her from your lives as much as possible. she has her own house, you have yours, different rules and expectations. I would have your dh start repeatedly stating that to the kids and backing you up . If they don't like it tough! If they call bm, your answer should be "oh well , it's our house, hers is elsewhere."