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Hi. I have a girlfriend I've been seeing for a year and 1/2. She has a 13yo girl and 16yo girl. The older one is probably one of the most spaced-out people I have ever met. Somewhat able to deal with. The younger one. Ugh! She acts like she is 35 until she needs to feel wanted and interrupts EVERY conversation I am having with my girlfriend with childlike stories or wild thoughts of grandeur. The younger one NEVER smiles. I catch her constantly glaring at me. And when I try to involve her to "bond the family" she and her sister are forever on their iPads and iPhones. Arguments always ensue about basic chores as to who's turn it is and the fact that they have to do it in the first place. The other major factor is my girlfriend's mother. She has treated me like crap for all of this time and never made me feel welcome. She is so opinionated it is ridiculous and she has taught her grand daughters to be the same way. I consider myself an open-minded person but my girlfriend's mother is a hateful liberal who has told her grand daughters (they told me this) that she is a man-hater. Just the other day, as it usually goes, the younger one involved herself in a personal conversation between me and my girlfriend about a Facebook post I did and a hostile reply from her family member. The younger one asked what it was about. I explained calmly what had occurred (recent events of rioting and physical violence) and it got heated because the younger one is taught at 13 years old that she knows enough, if not everything, to debunk anything I am talking about. I told her she was incorrect in her view due to her age and life inexperience (and small town living). She persisted to antagonize me as my girlfriend repeatedly told ONLY me to stop. The last thing said (with a grin) was "your time came and past, it's my time now". I told her I expected her to apologize to me later (as I was removing myself from the situation) only to hear her say "WHY WOULD I APOLOGIZE TO YOU. THAT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN". And the backstory on their BF is he is a drunk who cheated on their mother with another woman from his office whom he ultimately ended up with causing the divorce. They go over there every other weekend and occasionally during the week. This woman lavishes them with gifts and trips. I consider myself an upbeat person and try to make everyone happy and smile. But as much as I love my girlfriend, I don't know what else to do. Thanks.

I stay at the girlfriend's

I stay at the girlfriend's house on and off throughout the month. ( I work 12 hour shifts as a 9-1-1 operator- and per diem at another job by her) So about 15 days a month. I have tried to address this SO many times with the girlfriend but when she confronts them, the younger one instantly cries and the older one goes mental. So she doesn't want to confront them at all. All I keep hearing is "be the adult". That's all fine and dandy but I was raised right and knew my place as a 13 yo. So it really goes against my grain to take an earful from a child.
My girlfriend has come to her witts end and says it's me who has to change or I've got to go.

Believe her. Go. "Be the

Believe her. Go.

"Be the adult" = "Be a doormat and take unlimited abuse for the rest of your life."

So just go. She has told you what your life will be like if you stay with her. There's no fixing this.

I kind of figured someone

I kind of figured someone would see what I'm going thru. I feel like that is the exact "equation" she has dealt me.
Just wish I could stick this out until they get older, but God only knows if they end up staying at home indefinitely.

I see this side. I also see

I see this side. I also see the side of her being cheated on and being a single mom by no choice of her own. Maybe her worrying I might eventually go away at some point and she will need her family if I did. (which I wouldn't leave without a darn good reason)

thanks.

Do no fool yourself thinking

Do no fool yourself thinking adults are better than children; trust me....as hard as it is to believe, it will likely become much worse as they age.

thanks.

Then go. At this point she's

Then go. At this point she's shown you who she is, believe her.

You won't change her anymore than she'll change you. Stop putting time and energy into a relationship that isn't going to flourish.

Just go.

thanks.

thanks. some good points.

Sounds like you picked

Sounds like you picked yourself a pretty big challenge...three women against you plus a GF who doesn't insist on respect toward you from her family. I don't see much positive in this for you, tbh. Your GF may be gorgeous, sexy, nice person etc. but the main consideration for you is...she comes with baggage that will never go away. She is a package, and no matter how much you wish, she will never be available without the sideshow as a bonus.

Get yourself at a distance from these evil entitled women. They will not stop until they win, whatever it is they think they are winning. Let someone else enjoy "trying to make them happy". Why do you think it is your responsibility to keep them happy?

Either stop,going to theor house, and make the GF come to see you, or break it off and find out how free you feel.

My girlfriend is simply

My girlfriend is simply awesome except for the fact that she refuses to defend me on any level relating to her daughters and family. It is kind of like a 'messed up game" for the younger one. I think she actually gets a thrill out of all of this.

No, she's not awesome! That

No, she's not awesome!
That one thing is a big thing and affects so many other things. How can you feel loved and secure in your relationship when your partner won't stand up for you?

It amazes me how often I read on this site how wonderful, amazing, awesome my partner is! Oh, except that he/she won't discipline their child or he/she runs every time the ex needs something, or he/she lets his kids/parents/ex treat me like crap and a thousand other things.

When someone loves you they work with you to find solutions, they don't let other people treat you like crap and just walk away.

She's not awesome. If she was

She's not awesome. If she was simply awesome, she would have her kids under control too. There is a big difference between trying to get your kids under control and they just do not listen for the moment and then there is her telling you to stop. If you ever marry her, you will always take the backseat to the kids. And you said it yourself, she refuses to defend you.

I think you are still in the

I think you are still in the false impression stage. I recognize this stage as I think I was you many years ago. I entered into a relationship with a guy who had a daughter and a very overly involved and opinionated family. I saw that he was struggling and thought he was just "awesome" like you think your girlfriend is. The issue with that is now I realize that I can not help him or fix his situation and the awesomeness has unfortunately faded. The deadbeat mom is still a deadbeat. The overly opinionated family has caused so much grief in our relationship that we would fight all the time until I just refused to allow them in my home or my life. I am not stopping him from being part of their lives, however I just refuse to have anything to do with them, and that is always enjoyable around the holidays. Then there is his child, my now SD, who was a special little snowflake. She caused nothing but problems, told many lies and still does. Her attitude is something for the records, but because it is his daughter, he just can not see it. He however does see my new found disgust with him and her. All of these factors have played a very large role into pathetic marriage I currently have.

I would hate to see someone try to give all the can into a doomed relationship. To eventually fester in resentment and live a life of displeasure. If it was suggested for you to move on, maybe you should weigh that considerably. I can to tell you, 5 years ago I thought we would be a happy family. The pictures taken then do not share the same smiles of the pictures taken today. If it is difficult now it is only going to get worse. Weigh your options...sometimes when you love someone you must let them go, especially when you need to love yourself more. This is honestly a lesson I wish I would have listened and responded to years ago.

Sorry, any partner who does

Sorry, any partner who does not set respect boundaries for her kids is slightly less than awesome. Blinded by love? Get away for a few days and see how it feels like you stopped banging head against brick wall.

Valid point. I'm glad I found

Valid point. I'm glad I found this site. Thanks.

You are fortunate that you

You are fortunate that you are seeing the real colors of your GF, now-- before you married her. Many of us did not have a clue (there was a nice fantasy played by everybody-- to us), for over a year even after we were married and dated; then reality hit us---square between the eyes! There is no happy ending for the step parent here....

For those of us, had we known this reality dating or beforehand, it is highly doubtful we would have married... Because we are married, we have been forced to disengage and behave as if we are completely separate family to protect ourselves and sanity; we cannot count on our husband to defend us with these brats. After a while, we stop caring if they do because we come to expect nothing.

Posters are correct, a husband who does not protect his wife, and vice versa, it NOT 100% there for her/him. In my case, he turns into a weakling I would have never dated, had I seen this personality transformation, (when they are around he acts like I do not even exist either); so he kept this side of him hidden-- until he hooked me.

She is already showing you who she is. and her brats will eventually take a team approach to get rid of you at every chance possible and latch on to every word you say when you mean nothing cynical. Hence, your only choice is to cut this out of your life when you live with a doormat parent with no backbone.

Avoid this situation, protect your future now. Trust your feelings, they are real....

thank you.

The best thing to happen to

The best thing to happen to parents/Sparents of know it all teens is .... GOOGLE! When she pulls her know it all crap..... dig out your phone and bare her ass with the facts.

Just be careful and ready for when she does the same to you.

"Because I said so!" is a perfectly effective way to end an argument with a kid.

Back in my day as a kid arguing with an adult would have gotten me killed. The same should be the case today.... except far too many adults have no parenting balls.

I stopped reading half way

I stopped reading half way through your post and none off the comments...

I have one question - If you are busy in an adult conversation and a snot nose child interrupts... why do you explain to that child, why not simply say... Pardon this is a conversation between adults and you are not part of it, mind you manners and do not interrupt. then simply ignore her....

As an adult - why do you even argue with a snot nose child, simply ignore it....

I id catch you do not really live together, keep it that way until these girls are out of the house, seems like mummy is only with you for financial reasons and nothing else, cause she can not tell her daughter to butt out of her conversations.

OK, just so we are clear on

OK, just so we are clear on this: Your awesome Girlfriend has 2 girls who disrespect you, push your buttons to get a negative reaction that they can then twist into something that makes you look like the bad person, and not only that, your Girlfriends MOTHER does the same, AND not only that, OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS attack you on social media? And your precious Girlfriend does nothing to defend you against any of this?

Dude, you read like the fox being chased by a monstrous pack of she-devil hounds. Get out. Remind yourself of what the comments above are telling you, READ READ READ more in the different forums, to see the MULTITUDE of similar stories. These are posts/stories written by good people who have suffered, in some cases, for OVER 20 freaking years. And this is only the beginning "honeymoon phase". It only gets WORSE. These people will not change, you are outnumbered. They will not suddenly grow to love you overnight, the way your Girlfriend does. Not going to happen.

Just think, you could somehow get Girlfriend pregnant and be stuck, either paying child support to be enjoyed by these cretins, or stuck with belligerent children while trying to raise your own family. And then imagine all your money going down the drain to take care of and support these lovely little spoiled brats that treat you like a bug on the bottom of their shoe.

Trust me. There is better out there.

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New here. So here I go..