Which was VERY difficult. But I sat back and let DH handle it. Honestly the kid is so snotty right now NOTHING you say will ring a bell. Nothing. He is a whiny brat right now and thinks he is too good for a job or is shit scared to get one. The BM here said her sons dodn't need summer jobs because they just needed time to be kids. At 17? Really? Then she freaked out when they got into trouble?

But I stayed out of it because a) I didn't need the stress and b) DH apprecated my support later when he would talk to me about it and I could reinforce he was doing the right thing. Also this kid is looking for a fight with DH so he can run back to his SBs and seek asylum with them. So DH doesn't give him what he is looking for. And you count down the days until BM is back!

 SS feels entitled to stay home from school and lay in bed playing xbox, in dirty sheets surrounded by an overflowing laundry basket & clutter. I'd been unplugging the wifi power cord but when I did that Friday morning, SS plugged the power cord back in while I was in the shower, and got back in bed to keep playing, which totally pissed me off! So early Saturday morning I removed the entire wifi box and texted lazy SS18 that wifi would become available again once his room is clean & all his laundry washed, folded, and put away. Then me & DH went to coffee, came back & SS was gone. Didn't come home until tonight, apparently he had BM pick him up. Sbe's the one who taught SS to be lazy and to live in filth, and her influnce in my home is unwelcome. Yet SS18 feels entitled to lounge around & be entertained while me & DH work? DH has repeatedly told SS to clean his room & do his laundry but SS stays in bed playing xbox, doesn't even try to make it to school on time... I am so offended. So the whole wifi box is gone. 

Sucks being a SM these days. DH all bummed at me & sad, like triangulated by SS into feeling sorry for him.

I think you and your DH need to develop a hearing problem. In other words just ignore the rubbish that comes out of his BM infected and entitled mouth.

Your DH pays CS? I expect so. What does the brat think CS is for? I expect his BM has told him it's for her lol. He lives most of the time with BM? then his school work - if he means homework etc - is supported by BM as she is there most of the time. If he wants 'support' or advice then there is always a telephone or the chance to open his mouth and ask his father things. Not ask 'for' things but ask advice etc.

As he thinks he's 'a child and needs to be looked after' then that's fine if he wants it that way but he gets the basic allowance and that's it. You do nothing you get nothing. I think all of this is just a manipulative and guilt talk. 'my life is awful etc' - feel sorry for me and show it by giving me stuff.

Don't entertain an 18 year old, let him go find his friends, do sport or hang out shooting hoops or whatever. Same with younger one and just ignore his whining.

Open wine and just wait for it all to be over

This kind of mindless venting emotional horse shit needs to be confronted with full frontal brute force application of the facts addressing each and every little bullshit point this idiot kid has made.  It may help him get past this current phase of the teen boy brain farts.

When the SpermClan was giving my SS a bunch of crap about how much they were spending on him in CS (A whopping $133/mo at the time) and how it was taking food out of the mouths of the three younger also out of wedlock SpermIdiot spawned half sibs by two other baby mamas my CPA wife went all spreadsheet on the topic.  She broke down the total costs of supporting SS and how the $133/mo made absolutely ZERO difference and how if that $133/mo was the difference in his SpermIdiot and the SpermGrandParents effectively supporting SS's three younger half sibs that they had better get off of their asses, get 2nd and 3rd jobs, and make better decisions rather than talking to SS about it.  The more SS was seasoned with the facts in an age appropriate manner the more he was able to immediately counter and mitigate the toxic toothless moron manipulations of the shallow and polluted half of his gene pool when he was on visitation and they pulled their usual crap.

It works... dust the cobwebs off of your student version of excel and go to war.

I would. 

BM here paid a paltry amount of CS for skid. $55 per month. She was earning enough to be paying at least double that but DH had been stupid enough to agree to this so the courts let it go. There was nothing about any extras in the CO.

One year the scouts camp was quite expensive as they were going to switzerland and DH asked BM to chip in and of course the answer to that was ' how dare you ask me for money, I pay you cs, that's what it's for!!'  NO, cs of that paltry amount didn't even cover the food, clothes, shoes etc let alone the school fees or any holidays or extras. She is mean as hell, only willing to pay out on herself. She never once bought a coat or a pair of shoes for them. She expected to use the stuff that DH had bought and once brought the subject up asking why they were not bringing a suitcase of clothes with them when they went to her. DH said 'read the CO. It says each parent will provide for the child's needs when the child is with them'  and of course he got the 'that's what I pay cs for!!' again. She spent more on cigarettes a month than she paid in CS.

It's awful to live that way. Why do these dads enable these young men this way? I am believing its guilt when they aren't with them fully. I have experienced this entitlement with my SS this summer. LAZY as can be. 17/never in his life did a load of laundry! My kids have been since 9 years old! Ss wants to live with his dad,so his dad moved out. Ss ruined our relationship and my BF has allowed this because he thinks its OK for his baby to move back to take a break( he's tired from playing video games,eating and masturbating all day) so he shall do nothing for a few years. What a mess!

during divorce in 2009, he chose to live with his dad and is disrespectful, rude, self entitled and has bragged how its my job to do all housework and raise kids. He’s an idiot and hubby’s family have picked up on these appalling behaviours and will confront him or bring it up with me which i relay to hubby and usually when hubby is at work he sends ss a messageabout this behaviour being unacceptable

he has an excuse for everything, he just can’t shut up and deal with it. My husband has told him almost 3 yrs ago when daughter was born that he is not a good example to his little sibling and that upset hubby. What did he respond with?? “I don’t know how to show affection to my newborn sister and shouldn’t be forced to” and that he didn’t know he had to clean his dirty dishes and trash etc, that was my job. 

When hubby confronts him about issues and says home life is unharmonious since we got married 4 yrs ago and his behaviour is uncalled for, he claimed he was stressed. Mind you this kid has no responsibilities like us

i don’t see our 2 kids wanting any relationship with their 2 half sisters and half brothers with their current behaviour. Hubby is their cash cow, their mum refuses to get a job and support herself and be independent, my husband is her bank, their kids bank (doesn’t matter she’s been married the past 8 years), when they start getting engaged and married, they will expect hubby to cover costs, expect i be present with our kids and play happy families, but i won’t.

i have told hubby if you want me to be present, i will have no part lying to their future partner and in laws and when they do the usual questioning about that individual then i will say the truth. So its really disrespective also for hubby to demand me and our kids be present when these shallow 3 half siblings have not ever given a shit about us or our kids but now want me to fake all smiles. No! You don’t get that respect from us whatsoever. 

Hubbys family no doubt will ask questions and he can’t lie about it anymore and neither will i.

these kids are so self centred and will be the rest of their lives