I'm a younger stepmom, still in my 20's and I'm currently pregnant with my first. My stepkids are 14 and 12. I've been married for a little over two and a half years now and things are going great with the kids. They live with us, as my husband is the custodial parent, and they see their mom on weekends she's willing to have them.

So the problems started once they started to come to me more. I'm glad they could. They're awesome kids and I love them. But it's caused problems with their mom. First problem is stepson, the 14 y/o. He came out as gay last year. First to me, then to my husband with my support. He was terrified. His mom is not accepting and he's known it from a young age because of the way she talks about gay people. I told him he would be loved no matter what and that he should tell his dad, which he did, and my husband supported him. My husband then sat by his side as he told his mom, who said it was all my fault because I'm so "pro gay". This has made him afraid to be himself around his mom and he's told me he talks very little about his friends in case she gets the wrong idea.

Stepdaughter is the 12 y/o and also an awesome kid. She's never been very close to her mom because she doesn't remember her parents together while stepson does have some. A few months, ago she started her period while in school and called me to bring her in some sanitary pads. I did and gave her some encouraging words because she was a little embarrassed. When she went to her moms house that weekend, her mom was angry with her for calling me instead of her. It was annoying because she gave them both a lecture about how they should be turning to her instead of me and then she didn't see them for several weeks.

My stepkids have told me they prefer me to their mom. And while I'm so glad they like me enough to feel like that, I worry that I could be seen as letting them get to attached to me. My husband said it's because I'm more of a friend than a parent and he also pointed out that I'm able to communicate better than he is and I'm around more than their mom. He tells me I'm doing a good job and I feel that I must be if they are close enough to turn to me for help/advice. I just worry that I'm hurting their relationship with their mom.