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Teen SD entitled, rude verbally and (now) physically abusive-claiming bipolar-some think it;s a crutch-what to do?

Rita Zen's picture

Submitted by Rita Zen on Thu, 01/09/2020 - 5:46pm

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Teenage Stepchildren

Have not been posting on here lots, mainly bc my crazy horrible teen SD never really lived with us(thank god) but the visits and vacays are enough!! My very spoiled and rude teen sd 18, started college last year. Failed lots of her classes at an expensive college and blamed everyone else. She is constantly rude, disrespectful and nasty to my DH, until she wants money! Refuses to get  an actual job-save the occaisional babysitting gig. Is super lazy and acts like a 40 year old- and is often treated as one by my DH and his Ex. She is also a master manipulator and If you say anything she does not like -she twists it and tries to make you the bad guy. There are way to many incidents to list here-but lets just say we have to almost walk on eggshells when she is around. I cringe when my DH says she is coming for an extended stay or on Summer vacation. She moved in with her college Bf once she turned 18! his parents pay for everything and he's lazy and spoiled too. She regularly forgets Birthdays, Xmas gifts , special times-but god forbid you forget her bday or anything. But that's not the biggest problem. When she hears something that she does not want to ...she will curse my dh out or anyone that crosses her. He recently had to tell her to stop drinking and not come out with us drunk and she pushed , grabbed and bruised my dh, got up in his face like a street thug! she's awful. Note: she was not super drunk  when this happened , just tipsy. And, now shes claiming shes bipolar. I get it and am understanding of that- but I do not believe her. She may have some depression. And is on medication and has seen a therapist for years. But now she's using it as a crutch!!  And I think lying about her diagnosis! Since she is a master manipulator. I told my dh this is it !! I am thinking of not going on amy family trips or anything-if she has to come! No one in their right mind would put up with this. She's dropped out of college -probably bc it required actual work! Dh says he is cutting her off, except for emergencies- but I am not sure he can do it. What do you guys think? how should I proceed with him/ and her in the future! I can;t stand her anymore. I do not want her on any family vacay in the future. I have am 8 year old son with DH. I just want our family to be happy -and not destroyed by this spoiled brat!! 

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Thu, 01/09/2020 - 6:25pm

So, I think the big 5000Lb pig of a question in the room is... why is an adult skid who behaves as this POS person behaves around at all?

Rita Zen's picture

Submitted by Rita Zen on Thu, 01/09/2020 - 7:05pm

I don't think she should be around at all either! i feel like telling DH if he wants to see her-he meets her separately-without me or my child. She has ruined holidays and vacations in the past with her behavior. i don;t want her around that much for now...is that too extreme? 

SteppedOut's picture

Submitted by SteppedOut on Thu, 01/09/2020 - 6:52pm

"Except for emergencies."

Oh do tell, what kind of "emergencies" is he thinking about? She isn't going to college, much less working. So? When she gets her period and has no tampons...is that an emergency? 

Exjuliemccoy's picture

Submitted by Exjuliemccoy on Thu, 01/09/2020 - 11:14pm

As a mother, you have the right to draw boundaries to protect you child. Given this skid's history of violence and poor behavior, I think you should ban her from your home...at least until there has been some significant improvement in her behavior. Maybe that will motivate your H to do something about the monster he and his ex have created. 

Kes's picture

Submitted by Kes on Fri, 01/10/2020 - 2:20am

There is a tendency these days, that young people use a mental health condition, even if not formally diagnosed, as an excuse for poor behaviour.  Those of us who genuinely have mental health issues, feel apologetic about it and would not dream of excusing behaving like a knob by saying we are bipolar or depressed or whatever.   And frankly, I don't think mental health issues EVER excuse treating other people badly.  

I would certainly tell DH that you do not want SD18 in your house until she can learn to behave in a civil manner, and definitely no more holidays with her.  Young people of this age generally want to do something with their friends, they don't want to go on holiday with their parents.  At least, well adjusted ones do.