If your wife is okay with it -- you can't do anything.

Sadly, 14 is the average for boys these days to become sexually active. 15 for girls.

I know how you feel: my OSD became sexually active at 15, and the only reason we found out is that she got caught in her house by a neighbor while her mom was out of town. We found out afterwards that her mom (BM) had been supplying her with birth control pills.

You can't do anything about this. It's sad. But the horse is already out of the barn, and your wife thinks it's fine. May as well let it go -- except maybe to have a conversation with her, and later the two of you with your stepson, making clear your position regarding helping to pay any costs associated with an eventual baby that comes out of this.

BB

You are not second best, you are not second class. Do not ever let anyone make you feel that way. - 2BLoved

if he is already sexually active, he will probably continue to be sexually active. you said that you found condoms - thats a good sign, it means he is using protection. if your wife is ok with him being sexually active, then i would suggest that you have a man to man talk with the little dude about protection and the high posibility of him becoming a father with a girl he barely knows or getting a really nasty disease if he doesnt use it.

"if you don't have anything nice to say, then shut the fuck up."

And to respect the household. He's gotta learn how to properly dispose of the condoms, respecting girls, etc. Where's his Daddy at? It time the "Big Talk".

We all smile in the same language

Well there's NOT much you can do to stop them. And if you pressure them , their still going to do it.
The most IMPORTANT is that NO Unwanted child is concieved out of this.
CONDOMS are NOT 100% he needs spermicide also.

Does the Girls Parents know she is sexually active ???

Many Young girls get pregnant, and then you have TWO extremely Young kids having a child.

And then you will be paying for this child since he can't , he isn't old enough to have a job. And neither is she. And IF she gets pregnant.

You cannot FORCE the GIRL to have a ABORTION and neither can her parents ONCE a teen becomes pregnant they consider them adults & it's her/their decision.

SO IF I WERE YOU...I would have a TALK with the SON & The Girl and The Girls Parents!!

Also diseases..are a BIG problem...some are Life Threatening.
But Condoms are NOT 100% SAFE.

He also needs as a posted said, to learn to dispose of them properly.
And I would also make him wash his sheets.

Are they unsupervised at home??
It really doesn't matter. Teens have sex in school,on buses, under bushes, in cars, behind the house, anywhere they can these days.

Planned Parenthood is FREE as are The Local Health Dept/Teeb Birth control centers..Your StepSon can get condoms there for FREE..and The Girl can get BIRTH CONTROL without adult permission!!!

But please have a talk with him..about respecting NOT only his Body, but the girl(s) he is fooling around with. Having sex is NOT A GAME!!

I had the same talk similar to what Sus said about BS has no rights on an unwanted pregnancy. Its the girls choice. With that in mind, I told him to always use condoms. Don't rely on the girl to be responsible with her birth control no matter how much you trust her. Its the only thing a man-child has any control over. Use condoms. Once a spermy crosses that finish line he has no control on the outcome.

I also talked to him about how to treat a girl and never push her. How "no" does not mean "yes" no matter how bad you want it. It could land him in jail.

His dad is in denial and wont do "the talk" so I was left w/ my own devices. DH has extended his advice to BS if he needs it. I'm not sure if they've talked since. I'm quite confident that BS would go to him for questions.

You can't stop SS now that he's sexually active. You can only advise. Commend him for using protection and to encourage doing so.

I feel your pain. My 15 year old stepson became sexually active at 14 after dating for a WEEK. We found out that he was having his boyfriend stay over (he's gay) at his mom's and confronted her but it is still going on.

I had a talk with him and his position was that I just don't understand the relationship between two "men" and that it was perfectly ok because no one would get pregnant. Argghhh!!!! I tried to explain that at 14 he does not have the emotional capacity to deal with all the ramifications of having sex but he just doesn't care. His mom is a loser who has a merry go round of men moving in and out of the house and his dad just won't deal with it.

I'm frightened for this kid.

_

wow...I just dont even know what to say. I have daughters and this whole idea scares the crap out of me!! ugh.

On top of that, SS is 14, and I dont let him around our girls, but I just wonder if he's doing any of this?? Considering that kids being born out of wedlock tends to "run in families" because nobody wants to tell the kid what a huge ass mistake it was having him...so I fully expect this kid to end up knocking somebody up before long. Nobody thinks this kid needs supervision either, so it's highly likely.

I wish I was wrong. But it's almost like I have a crystal ball. My DH must think it's almost spooky how everything I predicted for the last 12 years has basically come true. To me it's common sense. Oh well. Not my problem.

Stock up on condoms,he won't stop now,since he's had "a little".I raised my son alone for the most part.Had the talk when he was about 12 and told him to come to me when he needed condoms and I wouldn't be mad at him for it,So he came to me when he was 16,said he needed condoms and I almost beat the crap out of him,but he did what I asked.I buy him condoms and when he needs more he asks for them. Anywho,I explained to him about girls and how some will get knocked up on purpose,never assume they are on birth control and remember how hard it was for me raising 3 kids on my own and don't you put a girl in that position.Bottom line,I think alot of people will say you are enableing him,I don't think so,he will do it you can bet your booty he will...might as well be prepared for it.

How old is the girl? If she is underage all he needs is some pissed off parents and he will have the label sex offender on his record for quite a while.

I wonder if his mother has considered this? Her son may go to trial and be on a sex offenders list along with rapists and paedophiles. It doesn't make it OK that she condones it. It doesn't make it legal. It is still wrong.

Offer up a scenario where she gets pregnant. He is on the hook for child support for the next 18 years. So when he meets some woman he loves (lust is not love) and he is 25 he will still be paying CS for another 8 years. Not to mention what kind of woman wants to have a relationship with a man who is a father at 15?

And if she got pregnant ands she aborted the baby? He may find in the future that he marries someone and they cannot have children. His one chance at parenthood is lost.

I had a friend who adopted a baby out when she was 17. When she was older she was unable to have children and ended up adopting. Ironic right?

What he is doing is illegal. End of story. You need to make his mother and the boy aware of the consequences. He will continue but a little reality check may be to tell him if he is having casual sex the sexually active people who pursue this lifestyle have blood draws every coupld of months to make sure they have not caught some STD. And if he says he knows he is clean, how about the girl that is having sx with someone she hardly knows? To put it plainly, he just may be getting sloppy seconds. And that may stop him form ever fathering a child. That alone should scare the crap out of his mother.