Is it even worth it? *Rant*
I am just at a loss right now.
"You don't want him around" "You're always in a bad mood" these are things I hear on a daily basis during this 6 weeks of absolute torture.
So here is the backstory. My BF and I had been together 6ish months before I met his son (Now 7), who he only sees 6 weeks during the summer due to his son living in NY with his mother, while he lives in Kansas. The roommate my BF had at the time warned me saying "He's a little a**hole". Well I thought in the back of my mind, maybe she's just not used to kids, I have a DD that is just 9 months younger so I could handle it. Boy was I wrong. He really was a little a**hole. Last summer, I put everything I had into trying to build a relationship with him in the 6 weeks I had, I was his full-time baby sitter as my BF worked full time and was taking summer college classes. By the end of last summer, I was done. I was ready to breakup with my BF and never turn back. His son and his Disney Dad parenting was taking a huge toll on me and we fought constantly. I also miscarried during that summer.
So the summer ended and everything went back to normal and we were okay relationship wise. My DD, BF and I are a functional little family. DD and BF grow a good bond, the following Oct I find out that I'm pregnant again. We announce it BF is over the moon, everything I great here, back in NY his son is having issues in school, fighting, stealing, not doing well academically. There isnt' a lot we can do being so far away and only having visitation. So I just kind of ignore it and focus on my pregnancy, work and school (I'm currently in RN-BSN school). I end up getting pre-eclampsia and my DS is born at 34 weeks and it's only a month before my BF son comes back, my anxiety skyrockets.
So this summer, we have dealt with meltdowns, disrespectfulness, attitude, non-compliance and all around rudeness. Along with this I have a newborn I'm attempting to bond with while on the few weeks of maternity leave I have left. If my BF feels like I am an evil stepmom then why even be with me? I doubt we will ever get married because of his son. Every summer we have the same fight and we almost break up.
So you can call me evil but I don't care, but I looked into my BF signing his rights way. Yes I know that sounds horrible but honestly is 6 weeks a year even worth it? His xw is remarried and his son calls his stepdad, dad. There was a hugh melt down this year where SS said that my BF wasn't his dad and we werent his family and he never wanted to come back here again. Honestly I am okay with that. His mother is toxic, he is toxic and I have two children to protect. We have to pay to have him sent back and forth between Kansas and NY. which cost us about $500+ if we drive and $700+ for plane tickets so we spend between a $1000 and $2000 for him to be a disrespectful little twat. So if he signs his rights away it saves us $400 a month ($4800 a year) (That we still have to pay durning the summer) plus $1000+ every summer in travel expenses.
My BF says "this is what you signed up for." "You knew about him when we got together" and did I really? Was a given a chance to leave if his son and I didn't get along? I don't feel like I was. I feel like his son was pushed on me and I had to just deal with it. I never pushed my DD on him, I still don't, my xhusband and I have a great friendship so I need him to take her, he will.
I'm tired of this 7 year old f**king up my relationship. It's stupid and BS.
I'm done ranting.
I guess I should clarify some things:
1) I lost the baby 2 weeks prior to meeting his son.
2) My DD lives with us 4 of 7 days of the week (thus the good relationship between my BF and DD) all year
3) SS was born here. DH was stationed here by USAF and xw hated it so she took off with SS when he was 7ish months and moved back to NY in the middle of the nights (she wanted to go to more exciting places other than Kansas)
4) New baby is 2 months old now.
5) I know signing rights away is a fantasy...