TheAccidentalSM posted a blog yesterday that partner's are not fixer uppers. So true! I comented (it was a poor example) and the last part was "You should never try to change/rehab/renovate anyone other than yourself." 

Lieutenant Dad, with her typical acumen, made the following astute observation, "We can't refurbish our partners anymore than we can gut them and reno the whole thing. We can offer paint suggestions, show them carpet swatches, etc but they have to be the ones to buy the paint and carpet. We can definitely help them while they repaint the interior, or even help them demo a bathroom to build a new one. But it's their house, and they have to put in the effort first and foremost."

As usual, I had insomnia last night and all of this was bouncing around in my head because I knew I'd read something at one time and saved it because it was spot on (IMO). Found it and wanted to share. And thank you, TASM and Lt Dad! *give_rose*

No one changes unless they want to.

Not if you beg them.

Not if you shame them.

Not if you use reason, emotion, or tough love.

There's only one thing that makes someone change: their own realization that they need to do it.

And there's only one time it will happen: when they decide they're ready.