Things have been a struggle lately. I just learned that my mom is getting married at the end of this year. That's not the big problem with this situation. It's more the fact that she is getting married 800 miles away. This not only makes things hard for us but me specifically. I am having a really hard time with the expectation of travelling that far with my family, paying for travel, food lodging, etc. And on top of that SD16 wants to come. I don't want for her to come. Every time she does anything with my family, it always turns out bad. She claims that my family hates her, yet she wants to come on this trip. As mentioned in a previous post, my family has tried to include her and integrate her into our family, but SD16 has done nothing to reciprocate or facilitate any sort of thing to help this process move forward. DH even feels as if they have something against her because they don't offer to include her in things. He doesn't understand that they aren't going to include her as long as she acts as if they hate her and she could really care less about them. She even skipped out on Thanksgiving with my family because she didn't know if she would be back in time to go with her mom for shopping or something.

DH and I sat down the other night to figure out what expenses would be for this trip. It was outrageous for not being a week long trip to Disney. Then DH mentions that SD16 will be dissapointed if she can't go. So I asked him, "Is she going because she truly wants to be there for the wedding or just to go somewhere?". His response, "Does it matter?". Hell yes it matters! This is a family event for MY family and if she is just going to go, I know exactly what is going to happen. "I'm bored." "There's nothing to do." "Dad, you need to take me to do something." POUT POUT POUT..... This is what happened a few weeks ago when we went to visit my sister and her kids for the weekend. She was pissed that we wouldn't take her to the mall. (EYE ROLL)

Lately, I am having a hard time looking her in the eye because she frustrates me so much! The entitlement along with the disrespect is just too much lately. And DH acts as if I am overreacting and gets all pissy and offended if I even imply that SD16 is not being any way that I would raise my kids to be. He keeps saying, "Oh you just wait until BS8 and BD11 are that age." I don't think that he realizes that kids can grow up to be respectful and polite. All of the expectations to be included in my family events when she has disrespected every one of them is just outrageous and unreal.

I am having a hard time with it all. I would actually like to tell DH that I will go with BS and BD and he and SD16 can stay home with the dogs. That would definitely cut down the cost and cut out SD16 from coming along. But I don't know how to do that without an all out pissing match. I keep telling myself to think positive and be honest but it is damn hard with all of this repression that I feel as if I can't get past.

I start counseling next week and really can't wait.