I filed papers to modify child support order (Financial talk part 2)
So as the financial conversation continue between me and the girlfriend, I sat her down and calmly explained $140.00 per month to take cared of a 14 year old is probably below the state limit (Her court order is 12 years old and is based on the father making $3.50 an hour (the state minimum at the time)).
She has no idea where he works (he's not forthcoming with information) and does not have any idea where he lives (he doesn't do the visitations).
Her court order is for another state (IL) and we live in GA.
I decided by helping her, I would be helping myself.
So today i visited websites and long story short I downloaded some modification of child support order forms... and filed them at the county court office on her behalf.
Not sure if this guarantees anything, but according to the forms child support orders are automatically reviewed every 2 years to see if any modification can go up or down.
I figure I will help with submitting the paperwork... ($78.00 invested already), but I will give her the forms that she has to have served on the father.
The other father of the two girls.... in prison. For a very long.... long time. Not much I can help with there I guess.
But at least a start.
(Oh and this disengaging thing... refreshing... I haven't been stressed for 3 days... and I now say "ask your mom" or "your mom said...."
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i think your girlfriend
is lucky that someone as nice as you are wants to marry her...that was a REALLY nice thing you did by filing those papers for her...it's hopefully going to help you out in the long run. i'm just concerned that your taking too much control of the situation and not leaving her enough to take care of being that they are her children and all. in my opinion you seem to be making great strides in trying to make things right as far as having boundaries in the home and sitting down and being open about how youre feeling with your future wife...and the role you want to play in their lives. smiles
You are a good guy
Your girlfriend is lucky. I did a lot when I married Hubby too. He was so burned out from dealing with BM for the years prior to me that he let everything slip and was letting her run roughshod over him and making him pay way too much. Sometimes our significant others just need some help getting the ball rolling. I know in Hubby's case, he was so emotionally tormented by all the evil things BM had done to him that he wasn't doing anything at all because he was too wiped out and too scared BM would try more of her evilness. I got his finances in order and put my foot down on all the extra stuff BM was demanding. I helped Hubby establish some basic boundaries and luckily, with someone standing behind him to support him, he was able to get back into the fight and take control back. I still keep his finances in order (let's face it, he's hopeless there) but when it comes to dealing with BM he does it all, and I stay out of it. Sure, I give my opinions and do a little work behind the scenes and such, but I leave all decisions to him.
My situation is a little different from yours. I think it's great that you're helping your girlfriend out. However, make sure that she wants the changes your helping to make. Hubby wanted to do things, but felt too beaten down to do it by himself. I could be wrong, and I apologize if I am, but your girlfriend doesn't sound like she cares enough to change anything. If she doesn't care, then nothing will happen if you don't do it yourself, and then you will end up resenting her later.
Annoying
The cs thing just annoys me. DH and I are the custodials, and BM doesn't have to pay us anything unless she becomes employed. Which she will never do. And even if she did, the order then is for $80/month.
$80/month???! wooflippinghoo.
I agree, I don't understand
We have had SD15 for four years with no CS. We never filed, to keep the peace. As soon as husband started talking about letting SD go live with BM, BM filed for CS. Now our attorney says she will probably get it and we won't get any back CS or even credit for the four years we had SD with NO support from BM.
How/why is that fair? (BM also chooses not to work)
hello all. I completely
hello all.
I completely understand your points... to echo my mother's thoughts "who would let the child support stay at $35.00 for so long?"
I asked and i think its almost the same thing as being worn down in some of the examples above. You should see how he reacts on the phone if she asks for even sneaker money. "That's what i pay child support for".
But don't worry... i'm not going to do it all. it's 5:00 pm and the papers to be served are on the bed. If she doesn't send them off to a process server then i'll know she had no intention of going all the way through with it. (although who wouldnt go through with trying to get more money is beyond me).
I can understand it
I can understand not wanting to go after more money....at least somewhat. Maybe the guy is a real a-hole and she'd prefer he be out of the picture completely. I know with my BM, part of why we don't bother fighting for more CS is because she will then fell all entitled to more time with SD, which is bad for SD because BM is a loser and a bad example. So I can get it in some situations. It all depends.