That's crap. We have similar issues. DH doesn't go that hog wild though. I would seriously flip out if he did. When we were dating I could never understand how he never had any money and I always did, he makes twice what I make. When we got married I figured it out. He was skipping on paying the bills and spending it on his kid. Sometimes he buys stuff for SS in front of DS and that really ticks me off, not like clothes he might need but toys and stuff(SS and DS are both his sons)

Are you receiving child support? If not you need to get yourself down to CSE and file for it.

I'm sorry to hear that. My bf used to do that , but not on a grand scale. Us moving into seperate places, and the bf having to take on all the responsiblity put a quick end to a lot of it. And SS getting on the phone, and hearing what SS wants, and being asked what they were doing helped to. And by example, me not doing it to my son.

Does he pay you child support? CO or otherwise? If not, I think its time you seriously consider getting this done. It will elimate any argument over what he needs to pay etc. And he definitely won't like it, but at least your kids will have what they deserve from him before he spoils these others.

Also, do you still 'support" him in other ways? Are you driving him all over town, using your gas, and time and not getting reimbursed? Do you have "bills" of his in your name that you share and will ne ultimately responsible for when he decides not to pay? When you guys go out, do you go dutch, or often pay for both of you? Do you even get to go out, just the two of you?
These are just a few questions you need to ask yourself. And I suggest you then decide how much you are willingly to, and how far you are willing to ride this out.

You don't have to answer those questions to me by any means, but you should answer those questions for yourself. Exactly how much are you doing for him, and enabling him to do this to you and your kids.

If you hope to one day live with him again, to me, this doesn't sound very promising. At least for your financial health.

It took my bf quite some time. He was a 'rider' on my cell phone bill while we lived together. He moved out, and was blowing his money. I was only asking him to continue to pay 50 for his line towards the bill. By the second month, he hadn't paid. I cut the line( even though I had to cancel the contract etc) and he went to get his own.

His cell phone now cost him over a hundred bucks a month. And when he b@$$#@es about it, I don't say a word.

He's doing this because you allow it.

This grown ass man with four kids is living off of you and his mother. If the two of you were to kick him out, he'd get his act together. (Or find another woman to use)

He comes across as a man who is sticking around to avoid paying CS.

You can do better than this cretin.

File for CS. His ex did and won. You may not get as much as she does but it will be a regular amount.

And let him go. He is behaving like a child with their pocket money every week. Spend spend spend... he has never been taught how to manage his money or what his priorities/responsibilities are.

What does he bring to your life? Pretend for a minute you don't have the boys... what joy does he bring to your life? What does he contribute to your happiness? When was the last time he did anything selfless for you?

I agree with oneoffour and everyone else here. File for CS and let him go. And surround yourself with men who are important to you- ie. your dad, stepdad, brothers, stepbrothers, etc. so your boys can have good male role models in their lives.

You need to do this because he is NOT going to realize. You've been moved out for awhile now and he hasn't figured anything out or realized that he needs to make changes.

You need to do this not just for your boys but for your SDs too. At 5 and 7, there isn't anything they can really do about this situation. It is unhealthy for any child, them included, to have to grow up around so much resentment. Kids really do pick up on that, even if they don't say anything directly about it.