It's been a while since my last blog... Between then and now, a lot has happened. Basically, it took several more weeks of neglect, lack of financial support, and a ton of verbal and emotional abuse and broken personal property of mine to get up enough nerve to break things off with him... I've been taking a hard looking over my last 4 years with my boyfriend, and how our two sons have been overlooked and neglected. How I have been overlooked and neglected. And, how all of my boyfriend's time, love, energy and money go toward his daugthers from his former marriage. We've never been a family - only every other weekend when his daugthers came, he demanded "family time". The days and weeks in between, our some and I were just "there". When his daugthers come, his entire paycheck is spent on buying them new wardrobes - meanwhile, he doesn't think to buy our sons ANYTHING. Me, our relationship, and our life together has never been a priority. And, he has a huge problem communicating. He blows me off as soon I try to express how I'm feeling. I'm walking around with resentment everyday - he made both pregnancies the most miserable time of my life. Every holiday or special occasion was either ruined or unhappy...

Since our split... I've met someone else. He's a very prominent physician who a large practice. He has a 4 year old daugther that he has custody of. And from the time I've spent with him, I've realized that I am worthy of love and respect and priority. And I have realized that my boys have an opportunity at experiencing priority and stability. This man is 19 years older than me. Like me, he is coming from a very hurt place as well - even almost a similar situation as me... He's met my sons (who are now 20 months old and 6 months old), and I've met his daugther. What a difference - this little girl is nothing like my son's father's two daugthers. I feel that I can truly bond with her, and love her like my own. Since spending time with this man, he's told me all he wants to do is be my partner and contribute all he can to the healthy, normal development of my sons, and love them as he loves his own child. Those were his exact words to me. We both agreed that taking things very slow would be a good place to start. Maybe getting together a few times a month and see how things build from there.

Now, my sons's father wants to try and "change" and "move forward". He's asked me to meet him for dinner tonight to "talk". My question to everyone is,,, leopards don't really change their spots, right? Since our split, he's been out fishing every night, he joined the local gym. He calls and yells at me for not responding to his texts and calls and accuses me of playing games with him. I've never been in a situation like this before. I love my son's father. I just don't think the realtionshp will ever be healthy again. And, as much as it pains me to say this, I resent his daugthers as well. Just as much as I resent him...I've dreaded their visits every other weekend for years...

Any advice or encouragement?