A quick aside: So, I deleted all of my past posts because SO had been getting back into the habit of being extremely nebby when I'm on my laptop. I didn't, and don't, want him finding out about this site, my one safe haven to avoid shame and ridicule for the way I feel about the situation in which I have found myself entrenched. The deletion was part of a panic move on my part - if SO saw the site, I didn't want him trying to figure out what I was writing. Most of what I write on here, he knows, but, some of it has been kept secret because I haven't felt comfortable telling him outside of the confines of a counselor's office.

Now, onto my real post:

SD is supposed to be coming out to visit in less than a month. GUBM texted about a week ago asking about splitting the cost of a flight versus her driving her half way - claiming it would wind up being less expensive (though only marginally). She actually did something, amazingly, and looked up what airlines would let SD fly at the tender age of 12 unaccompanied and found a flight that worked with the dates that SO wanted her.

Actually, I should backtrack just a smidge. SO texted GUBM & SD over a month ago about the dates he wanted her out for Summer (June 14th-July 15th) because we are planning to send her to camp and need to register her and sign her up for the classes at the camp. Everything was hunky dory until about two weeks ago when GUBM suddenly sprung it on SO that SD would only be able to come out for three weeks of the visit rather than four. Because SD got the opportunity to work at a salon (what??) and had to start work in July. But, she could maybe push it back so that SD could stay through till the 8th of July. Of course, GUBM had absolutely nothing to do with it - never mind the fact that her "friend" owns the salon. SO put his foot down and told her that he wanted SD for the dates he initially stated and that she should be planning to drive those two days. He didn't hear another word from her until the following week. SO thinks she was trying to cut the visit short so that she wouldn't miss out on two CS payments from him (since it isn't through any court system, he wouldn't be sending her any money for the time she doesn't have SD).

Back to the flight. SO didn't believe that she could actually function enough to find any information out about a flight for SD (though I gently reminded him that it meant she had to do little work to get SD to an airport less than an hour away), but, GUBM insisted that driving on the 14th would not work for her (even though she's known about this for a month). SO thinks she was baiting him because the very next day is his birthday. He thinks she wanted him to say he wouldn't do any driving on the 15th because it was his birthday. But, whatever.

She found a reasonably priced flight that would deliver her to PGH on the 14th of June and deliver her home to scumbag land on the 16th of July. Oh, so, suddenly SD can not only come for her full four weeks, but, she can stay through an extra day? Yea, not quite because her flight home leaves at 8:00AM - which means SO and SD will be getting up around 5:00AM (provided he makes sure she packs up all of her crap the night before) and leaving to get her to the airport in time for her flight. Let's just say that I'll be saying goodbye to SD the night before, because I am NOT getting up at 5:00AM just to wish her a fond farewell to the airport. I'm not adjusting MY LIFE to cater to her and GUBM. I am starting a paid internship soon and, that's one of the only things I plan on getting up early for, and only if necessary. And, besides, I'll be taking a bus trip a week and a half before she leaves, and, my bus leaves at 7:00AM. I highly doubt Princess Pants will want to get up to say goodbye to me, so why should I afford her the same courtesy? Not happening.

SO told her he wanted to check with SD first about whether she was OK with flying (because the last we heard, she was too scared to fly). SD said she would prefer it and was looking forward to it (probably to avoid being stuck in a car with GUBM for 3 hours). SO told GUBM to book the flight and that he would send his half of the ticket with the next CS check ONCE she gave him proof that the flight was, indeed, booked for the dates she said. That's his way of assuring that GUBM will actually book the flight and get SD on the plane. Because she's putting out money for it. Whatever.

And...SO heard nothing back from GUBM for a week. Then she decided to text him and say that she didn't have a credit card to use to book the flight. SO shot back that he would book it, but, that he was taking her half out of the next CS check and that she better get SD on that plane when she said she will. He still hasn't heard from her from what I know, but I don't really care, either. All I really care about is the fact that we just paid out for a camp that we can't legitimately afford, and now we have to pay out for a plane ticket that still has YET to be booked - and, as a result, is getting pricier as time passes, at which point GUBM will probably balk at the idea of an expensive plane ticket when driving would be so much more affordable for her (even though she's not paying out of pocket and is only getting dinged on the CS). And then, there's the fact that we're going to have to provide SD with vegetarian meals the entire time she's here, which will largely result in SO purchasing pre-made, expensive-ass "chik'n" products because she won't eat anything else but fake chicken nuggets. And then there will be her lunches while she's at the camp. SO still hasn't clarified about whether she will be provided lunch as part of the camp fees or if she will have to bring money for lunch, or bag a lunch. This one visit is getting REALLY expensive and I'm not happy. Oh, and GUBM still hasn't cashed her most recent CS check and, if she decides to do it before this coming Friday, we're going to have a whopping $50 in our joint checking account because of all the expenditures that we have had to make to prepare for the coming of the SD. This is the lowest our account has been since moving out here. And it is all because of this stupid summer camp. OK, the camp isn't stupid, but still...

I'm also concerned with the fact that SO still hasn't finished signing SD up for camp. We've paid, but, she hasn't been registered for a schedule. And I'm getting annoyed. It took him until three days ago to actually go register her for the damn camp as is, and he's just dragging his feet along. He's just as bad as GUBM sometimes, truly. Far as I know, he hasn't heard from SD either. Even though he texted her yesterday evening, I believe, to get her to make any kind of commitment to classes for the camp. At this rate, the classes she wants to take are at risk of being full and she'll get stuck in classes that she is not so fond of and will be at an increased risk of Princess Pants behavior, whining that she doesn't want to go for three weeks and participate in classes she has no interest in taking. (I can't really blame her for not wanting to do something she has no interest in, but, well, those are the breaks, SD. Maybe you should have responded to your father when he texted about scheduling your day at camp? Novel concept, Princess Pants).

So, SD and GUBM are both incommunicado over this visit as of right now. SO isn't faring much better in my book. I'll honestly be SHOCKED if that child shows up at the airport on the 14th as anticipated. SO has said that if GUBM fails to get her here, he will deduct the cost of the camp from CS over time. But, I have my doubts.

But, whatever. Nothing is going right in planning this visit, and everything is a challenge. Par for the course. Detaching myself has made it so much easier to deal with everything, except our financial burdens. SO keeps making the same "it shouldn't be this difficult" remark. Oh fricken well, SO. You made your bed, you lie in it, sucker. Aside from the money, and the potential for SD to sit around the apartment all day (which will not be happening as SO and I both work now), I'm really just aggravated about the large sums of money that are already going into the visit that has yet to happen. All I can say is that I am grateful that my friend wanted to stash her futon here this summer, because at least SD has a bed to sleep on while visiting (IF she visits). And, while it might be daunting now to think of spending an entire month with SD, at least I get a break halfway through her visit as I'll be going to Michigan to see my friend for a week. Is it sad that I'm thrilled about that mini-vacation for me because it now means that SO can't take an entire week off from work to pamper and cater to SD's every whim? I don't think so, because I'm tired of living in the land of SD Princess Pants when she comes to visit. It's high time she realizes that this is OUR house, and that SO and I are the center of this family, our partnership is priority. Our lives do not come to a screeching halt just because SD is visiting. Our lives do not become consumed with catering to SD's every little whim when she's visiting. Now, let's just hope SO can live up to his end of demonstrating that...

My hope is very minimal.