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DH stepped up to the plate!!

bayers44's picture

So this past Sunday, DH sat me down to have a talk. He was tired of the fighting, and he wanted to figure things out. He wanted to know what he could do to make things right. We talked for awhile when I finally just said that I couldn't take it anymore. He had taken everything away from me in the last month. The one thing that I had always wanted - a family. He took that away from me. I told him a story - about when I had decided to give up a dream that I had had for so long for another dream. In 2005, I had to decided whether to marry him and give up my dream of having my own biological children and help him raise his children or give him up and try and fall in love with some other man and have his children. (My DH has a vasectomy so anymore children were out of the questions - and yes I know that they are reversible but with our income and our situation it is not). So I told him that I made the decision to stay with him and help raise his children even though at that time his kids didn't even like me. I knew it was for the best and I loved him enough to give up my dream and make a new dream.

He said that he was so happy that I made that decision - I was honest with him and told him that I was not happy with that decision. I wish that I had not made that decision. I had too much heart ache - even with the good times, the heart ache was too much.

He got up after a few minutes and went outside. He came back in after 20-30 minutes and wanted to know what he could do to fix the situation. At that time I told him I didn't know. We tried talking some more but I didn't know what to say. I know that I hurt him, but I was hurting too. THe skids were not home at the time, they were spending the weekend with BM.

After a couple of hours and the skids had been home for awhile - they were outside and I took a nap - more to get away from everything than anything else. DH sits me down and states that he talked with the skids and told them that they need to start respecting me. He gave them a couple of examples that they could relate to, and told them what happens at our house stays at our house. No more trash talking ME to BM. THAT stops NOW.

I know how hard it is for DH to talk to his kids, so I know that had to be difficult for him. He talked to them about a few other things that I won't go into, but to say the least he finally impressed me!! He FINALLY stood up for ME! He defended me to his kids!

Now the skids have not shown a difference towards me, but DH has. That is at least a start. In fact the they are starting to get worse even for DH, I am trying to nicely point this out to DH. But he is hesitant to see it.

I don't want to push to much since we are still on shakey ground. And no, I am not kissing his feet because he did one good thing, but I don't want to make things worse for us.