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Furious with BM

bekkah2224's picture

Submitted by bekkah2224 on Thu, 01/15/2009 - 9:04pm

At the first of November during our EOW visitation with SD11, BM sent DH a text telling him to buy SD11 a jacket because she needed one. At this time it had already gotten pretty cold in our area. DH ask SD11 if she needed a jacket and she said yes but not just any jacket she wanted a certain kind of jacket (expensive!) We do not have this kind of money. The jackets that BD5 wears are jackets that I buy at the end of the season when they are on sale. I buy them big enough so that she has it for the next year. DH responded to BM and told her to get her a jacket with cs. That is what it is for, right? Well she doesn't do it. Before Christmas I start looking and find a jacket that she want on sale for about half the price so I get her this for Christmas but we ended up giving it to her about 2 weeks early because she needed a jacket because BM still hasn't gotten her one. Well the next couple of visits she wears the jacket when she come over then stops wearing it. She starts wearing a different jacket. DH and I are not sure where this jacket comes from. Well BM has a son from another marriage. His SM and I talk from time to time to discuss the crazy BM. The other SM texted me to let me know that her SS8 had a game tonite and BM and my SD11 were there. BM was wearing the jacket I bought for SD11 while SD11 had no jacket on. BTW, tonite is the coldest night that we have had in 6 years and BM was wearing the jacket and didn't have a jacket on SD11. WTF?????

Comments

SM#1's picture

Submitted by SM#1 (not verified) on Thu, 01/15/2009 - 9:15pm

What the hell is the matter with this woman?? If your SD has been wearing a different jacket I would tell her to return the one you bought. That you will keep it for her at your house ONLY. I wouldn't say anything to her about the other SM seeing her Mom in it though (not unless BM called to bitch about you wanting the jacket back).

Coats are expensive, I buy my kids coats around this time (jan) as well. In fact next week I will be getting coats for my SD9 and BS2 for next year. Otherwise they are just so expensive!! CS is for items the kids NEED and want, BM should have bought it.

Stick's picture

Submitted by Stick (not verified) on Thu, 01/15/2009 - 10:05pm

Wow... I feel for you... Can you confront her or at least talk to your SD about it? I'd consider going to court on that one... if she can't use the child support for what it is supposed to be for. Do you think the SD gave it to her or she took it? I'm HATING my husband's ex-wife right now, so I could be a little jaded at the moment

Anon2009's picture

Submitted by Anon2009 (not verified) on Thu, 01/15/2009 - 10:39pm

It takes a real b**ch to let her own child go freezing while her a** is warm. I think that when discussing child support on here we should start capitalizing the word "child" because that's really who it's meant for. Not for vacations, hot tubs, brand new cars, etc. for selfish idiots like your BM and mine. On top of that, it might help other posters to get the anger they feel towards BM out. I know it'll certainly help me. That's great that you and the other SM talk. You should let her know about this site!

Is there anything in your court order mandating that she send SD11 to you with proper clothing and stuff to keep her warm? If not, you might want to change that. That way it's recorded in a legal document, and you can document each time she doesn't abide by it and your DH can confront her with the court order, saying "it says right here that YOU must provide coats and clothing for our daughter on her visits here. If you continue to make my daughter freeze and use her as a pawn, I'll buy her a coat, because there's no way in he** I'll let her freeze and suffer because you use her as a pawn. Then, I'll haul your butt off to court. NOBODY does that to my daughter!"

4ofus's picture

Submitted by 4ofus on Fri, 01/16/2009 - 8:23am

I had never thought of this scenario... and I am afraid that we may have to deal with it as well! OMgosh, how do you handle it without coming right out and telling BM that you will not be furnishing her wardrobe?? I would have to take the jacket back. Get SD one that is usable, but not one that BM will wear. I know you must be ready to spit nails at this.

And everyone wonders why Skids have that sense of entitlement?? THey get it from these BMs. Makes me sick. We deal with now SS having a brother that is about 13 mo younger than him, and we always see him in SS clothes that we have bought. Funny, I didnt realize that along with CS that we were also supplying close for her illegitimate kid as well as DH's.

northernsiren's picture

Submitted by northernsiren on Fri, 01/16/2009 - 9:03am

we would totally love to buy SD a cell phone, we would love to be able to contact her without hearing the BM's obnoxious screeching, but we are convinced BM would just take it away from her and use it herself. Your BM should be ashamed, letting her child go without.

I seriously don't get how these women call themselves mothers. The first snow of the yr SD came over wearing galoshes (that we bought her of course), no insulation at all. I asked her why and she said b/c she had to shovel the walk and the driveway at her moms, and she had no boots!!!! This was about a week before christmas, so I went out and bought her a pair of snowboots as a last minute gift. I kept the receipt thinking "well since BM is sending her own kid out at her own house to work in the snow, PLUS of course standing at the bus stop in the cold at 6:30 am, she'll probably buy her a pair of boots, b/c she knows first hand SD doesn't have anything." Ha, how naive of me. BM bought her a $25 dollar gift certificate to walmart, some pink disposable razors, and a package of hostess minimuffins. Merry Christmas SD. I suppose she could have used the gift certificate to get herself some nice walmart boots.... :O

"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." Albert Einstein

bellacita's picture

Submitted by bellacita on Fri, 01/16/2009 - 9:06am

im w northern...how can these women call themselves MOTHERS escapes me. i guess thats ALL they are, in the truest sense of the word since they gave birth, but MOMS they are not.

"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin

sparky's picture

Submitted by sparky on Fri, 01/16/2009 - 9:08am

I hate to hear stuff like this. Its to bad that your friend didn't have a disposable camera to take a pic of that. I would send her an email and tell her that you have an eye witness that will testify about what she did and that she better have that coat when she returns to your house.

DISbelief's picture

Submitted by DISbelief on Fri, 01/16/2009 - 11:53am

I would be IRATE if I were you. She should be ashamed of herself. I am not sure what I would DO or say to her at this point. It drives me crazy when BM has a piece of CANDY that we bought for SS, I can't imagine her wearing something of his, and making him go without. That is just sad. I would have to say something to her, I don't know that I would be able to stop myself.

DISbelief~

~You have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy!~ ; )