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Baseball Game - No Thanks

BettyRay's picture

Submitted by BettyRay on Tue, 06/04/2013 - 8:33am

DH wanted me to go to SS11's baseball game last night. I said no, I just couldn't do it. Not after the weekend and SS11's bad attitude. Please see yesterday's post for the background: http://www.steptalk.org/node/150641 (I had problems posting yesterday)

I spent the evening alone and, although I missed DH, it was better than sitting through SS11's game being glared at by BM and ignored by SS11.

DH got home from the game late and was sad. DH said SS11 didn't say hello or acknowledge he was there. DH continues to blame BM for this type of behavior. IMHO SS11 acts this way because DH never addressed it when SS11 was little so SS11 thinks this is how he should act. I didn't say anything and let DH vent. At this point me saying something would be pointless because DH won't do anything about it.

~BettyRay

Comments

BSgoinon's picture

Submitted by BSgoinon on Tue, 06/04/2013 - 10:29am

That's very sad. I used to pull the same behavior on my dad when I was young. And it DID all stem from my mom and severe PAS. My dad was never given the chance to be the dad he wanted to be to me. And I resent my mother for it now that I am an adult.

BettyRay's picture

Submitted by BettyRay on Tue, 06/04/2013 - 11:55am

It is sad. It happens at every event where both DH and BM are present. Privately I've thought of it as a form of PAS but I've never said this to DH.

DH tries very hard to be active in the boys lives. He attends almost all their games and concerts. I try to go with him as much as I can to support him; which is why I feel guilty about letting DH down yesterday.

When I first met him he wasn't going to these activities because BM would tell him about games/events the night before of the day of and he was working 3 jobs to support himself and pay CS. Back then BM would make snide comments here and there about him being a no show and not caring about the boys.

After we got together he was able to quit 2 of the 3 jobs and started going to all their activities. Now BM doesn't say anything about him not caring but she does nothing to help the boys to acknowledge their dad at these events.

If DH doesn't make a concerted effort to say something they will come and go with BM and ignore him. It's heartbreaking to witness.

~BettyRay