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Feeling like I need to divorce the one whom I Love the most but cannot stand how her kids treat me

Bill63's picture

Submitted by Bill63 on Sun, 05/14/2017 - 9:05am

I am married to a wonderful woman, however her daughters are controlling and have never accepted me. Do not get me wro g these gorls both are very well educaited, and are good girls however they are not accepting me due to the fact that I am not their real dad, I am not well educaited and because I do not allow them to boss me around like their mom does. They are constantly on me trying to tell me do not do this or that or how to act or not act. For the most part I leave it alone bit sometimes it gets to be too much. Their mom does not defend me due to the fact that she is affraid of hurting their feelings and even sometimes joins in with them. I feel like I need to move on and find a woman whom shows me more respect!

Comments

ChiefGrownup's picture

Submitted by ChiefGrownup on Sun, 05/14/2017 - 9:42am

If she joins in with them I say yes you should move on. No one gets married in order to be mocked. Who would take that deal?

If you think there's hope flat out tell your wife the situation has reached a crisis. Does she want to work this out or not?

Always being made to feel "less than" and "outsider" takes a big toll on you. You will eventually get depression. So do take this seriously. Let her know what's up or if you think it's past that than just leave.

ChiefGrownup's picture

Submitted by ChiefGrownup on Sun, 05/14/2017 - 9:43am

Oh, and welcome to Steptalk. Many if not most of us have been through much of what you are going through right now. Some of us solved it by working it out with our spouses, others solved it by leaving, and others are still working on it. You've found your tribe.

twoviewpoints's picture

Submitted by twoviewpoints on Sun, 05/14/2017 - 10:23am

You didn't mention anything as to how long you're been married to this woman and what age you came into the stepchildren lives, nor the girls ages.

Your wife must have thought you were pretty wonderful ,educated or not, when she married you. You're just as much worthy now of that admiration and respect as you were then. Perhaps some individual counseling to sort out what is best for you. After-all, in the thick of it *we* sometimes lose who *we* really are and what *we* need when *we* keep putting everyone else and their needs first, it's your own happiness that truly must come first.

Standing up for yourself, who you are and what you can and can not(will not) tolerate must come from inside and must come directly from you. If your wife is joining in on what these girls are doing , she isn't respecting her husband and the marriage. That must be the very first step that is addressed. Which may be what a counselor can help you with. Who you are, what you want and what you need in life...then how to seek it.

Acratopotes's picture

Submitted by Acratopotes on Mon, 05/15/2017 - 6:29am

Welcome to ST....

Now disengage from the evil step daughters, you owe them nothing, not even the time of day... it sounds like they are adults and not living with you any more, regardless... if they start you should do this or that... smile and ignore, keep on doing what you are doing....

It's not to say that you have to jump when they demand... they can demand and you can simply ignore and go on with your life..... if DW asks you why did you not jump... smile and say, Oh I heard you, I thought about it for 2 seconds and decided nope not going to do it, it's against my values or morals or simply cause I did not feel like doing it..

Simply ignore and disengage..