Advice please

Last night I wasn't able to hear advice. I was just hurt and sad.
Today, I ask those that read the posts... What should I do?!?!?

Biomomof2's blog
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Yeh. I was afraid of that.
Actually I'm in really good terms with his 2nd wife. We aren't "friends" due to the weirdness of me being married to her ex-h but we are "friendly". My BS gives all his outgrown clothes and toys to her BS. Like the imagine-next large dinosaurs that were like )25 each... And he gave him the complete set... Over $500. Still in great condition.
Before we got married she told me " well, aren't you a strong personality... This will be interesting". I asked her to explain and she said she doesn't want to push me in a direction. Her and I have compared notes on how DH was with SD and how he is with SGD. He is worse with SGD... But he ignored ex-wives warnings on SD as well.
She was surprised he "let's" me handle car issues, bills and stuff because "he always had to do it" when they were together. Funny, now somehow he has twisted me into being controlling because he never had time for it.

I had a conversation with DH

I had a conversation with DH about BS the other day.
I ended up telling him I would have way more repect for his opinion if he didn't change it based on who the kid is. SGD... Victim. DD.... Nothing her fault. DS... Always his fault. I told him it makes it very hard to take his advice seriously. DD and BS argue... BS must have done something or DD is just tired of him. SGD and DD argue and SGD just doesn't understand how to be a good friend. Has actual told DD she needs to be more understanding. I called BS on that and told her to not let people treat her that way. SGD and BS argue and SGD did everything right, BS is a bully. It's really bullshit and I'm pretty done with it. Last time SGD pushed BS I told DH if he can't control her, my kids were going to be given permission to protect themselves from her. I've told DD if BS hits you, hit him back. Now it will apply to SGD as well. DH got PISSED off. Told me I going to have SGD beat up. I told him, there is no problem if she keeps her hands to herself but if she can't do that DD and DS can and will protect themselves. He didn't like that. It's fine for her to put her hands on them, but God forbid they protect themselves.
Even as I write that I wonder .... WTF I was thinking. What took me soooo long to get here.

Where is your new job you're

Where is your new job you're going to be starting soon? I guess I'm hoping the answer is at least an hour and a half if not two hours away from where you currently are. IMO you need to put some space between you and both the two men in your life (DH and ex-DH). Sure, you have kids wit the ex and have to deal with him and the kids will be seeing their Dad. But for your sake of mind and a sense of peace , being you asked for opinions of what you should do? That's my opinion and advice. Take the pension due you from the ex, you'll also have your earnings pay from new employment, load up your car and rental U-Haul with your kids and belongs and don't look back.

The kids will adjust to a new school (and maybe ex will stop b*tching about their current school), they will make new friends as will you between neighbors and co-workers and perhaps a new church or a women's club. No one will be verbally on your kids. No one will have to watch the current DH like a hawk (over his possible sick little girl desires). No one will tell you what to do not do what you can purchase or how you must do it. Your evenings won't be spent fighting with the Blob Slob of a Dh laying away in bed all day and evening playing his next buys from amazon.

You and your children deserve better than what and how you are currently living. There's a whole new world ahead for all three of you...take the opportunity and go. The hardest part will be opening that front door and walking out. Once you do I think you'll be surprised at how free and happy you and your children can be.

2 1/2 hours away. The area

2 1/2 hours away. The area I'm looking to move to is 3 hours away. 1/2 hour from job. So, Yep. Plenty of space and a true new start.

I don't comment often but

I don't comment often but wanted to say I really worry about your DD and BS. You look at your husband's actions and think his interaction with SGD is the problem, when in fact his interaction with all of the kids is the problem.

The way he treats BS is awful. He makes it clear he doesn't like him and picks on him.

He is way too interested in your DD, trying to get her to like him more than she likes you. He wants her to choose his side in your marital rows.

Please protect your children and yourself. You seem to still be looking for ways to salvage this marriage and I get that, but please know that you and your kids deserve better than this man. You are kind and loving and this is not how you deserve to be treated, playing second fiddle to his desire to be liked by little girls.

The spending hours picking

The spending hours picking out underwear online thing for DD, SGD is really super weird. My DH would NEVER do such a thing. I imagine even as a single Dad, he would have called his Mom and asked her to pick some up for him or bought the first pack he picked up at Target. He would never spend so much time thinking about it. That's a huge red flag.

And sharing marriage information to DD? That crosses a huge line.

Listen, I was molested by a family member when I was her age. And it follows many of these same behaviors (The gifts, the oversharing about adult themes etc). I think your counselor has similar ideas but is trying to lead you to your own conclusion. There are red flags everywhere. Save your daughter. Get out.

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