Prayed the St. Jude prayer every night so far. What a day today was. What a step in the right direction. I have the utmost love and respect for my husband. When he picked up his 3 for today's visit, he sat them all down, and had it out. He told them he had had enough. The backward behavior over the past 6 mos. is done. They need to recognize what they have in this home. They have never been treated as anything but equals, they have own space, beds, dressers, toys, unconditional love. He is their father and he has fought to have them 2x a week, every other weekend, half of all holidays, school vacations, every other week all summer, and that I their SM, and their 2 SB/SS give up so much because we love them. And the recent unruly behavior is uncalled for, and won't be tolerated regardless of what the BM continues to teach them.
I saw such effort, they behaved how they used to, seeking direction and understanding on how a family is supposed to work, how people who love each other are supposed to treat each other.

I feel like I can try again, I feel like the effort is worth the reward again. I feel like I know it will continue to be a daily battle, but I love them, and they love me, and if pushed they will make an effort, and I can encourgage them and praise them for their effort.

The most amazing thing from the such open and honest talks hubby and I have been having over our stress is how much we felt the same. I felt heartbroken over the lack of respect and appreciation his 3 recognize over how much he tries to be a fully vested father regardless of BM efforts to destroy that. He felt heartbroken over the lack of recognition his 3 see of how much I give up, and my 3 give up to love and welcome children that we don't even have to welcome or love. Yet we always have with open arms.

Today was a good day.