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Bojangles's Blog

Lapses

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I've spent the best part of 2 years trying to switch off to my stepchildren, to be pleasant but uninvolved. To not care that my relationship with them is a disappointment to me. And then, on days like today when it's YSD's 19th birthday I stupidly lapse and stalk her Twitter. Why do I do it to myself. I immediately regret it when I see 'Daddy bought me x!'. Not 'Dad', because although our 5 and 7 year old call him Dad, the 19 year old still feels the need to call him 'Daddy'. Not 'Daddy and Bojangles got me x' because apparently I don't exist and the gift is not from us.

Daughter sues parents for child support!

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Gosh imagine if every teenager who flounced out of the parental home was entitled to sue for a handout:

"A New Jersey teenager who sued her parents for financial support after leaving home has lost the first round of her lawsuit. Cheerleader Rachel Canning, 18, sought $650 (£390) in weekly child support from her parents, the payment of the remainder of her tuition at her private high school, a fund for her future college tuition, and her lawyers’ fees.

A Christmas miracle

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I am reeling from the shocking news that DH has actually taken the bull by the horns and done something to avoid yet another Christmas day when we end up at the butt end of his 18, 22, 23 and 26 year old daughter's plans. I thought it would never happen. Every Christmas is organised around BM. The year before last they rolled up 2 hours late because dinner had 'overrun' at BMs, so we sat around waiting and waiting and eventually had to put newbornDS, DS2 and DD4 to bed before they turned up.

Arggghhh when will BM realise that she is NOT part of DH's family any more!!!! (Answer:never)

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My husbands youngest brother just announced he is expecting a baby with his girlfriend. I could not believe my eyes when I saw that BM posted this comment on the FB announcement:
"Congratulations BIL and GF. Be lovely to have another baby niece/nephew Smile xxx"

Repeat 100 times 'i will not interfere'

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Yesterday we buried DH's brother. 2 of DHs daughters, SD23 and SD21 did not even make the time to come and see him before the funeral despite arriving in town 2 days before (they stayed at BMs). I have no idea what they were thinking; how can you not realise that you should be at your father's side as he prepares for something like that? Thank god for SD25 who came straight to the house when she got in the night before, and stayed with us, and even SD17 who is a bit of nightmare came over during the day to help prepare for the service.

Ironing tea towels

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SD17 has just been round for a very rare visit, to help DH prepare for the funeral tomorrow. SD lived with us for over 2 years, before her multitude of issues, lies and self destructive behaviours, and DHs inability to address them, nearly drove me to a breakdown. I ended up disengaging to save my own sanity, and after a few months of failing to get my attention she went back to her mothers, and shortly after ended up in an eating disorders clinic.

Dreading family gathering

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I have a funeral to go to this week. My lovely brother-in-law lost his battle with cancer after several hard years. It's going to be a really sad day, and DH will need my support, but I feel pretty bitter that the sadness of the whole event is going to be undercut by my personal stress at spending the day with DH's enormous family, and BM. I feel sick just thinking about it.

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