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UK, fight maintenance

Lea01's picture

What have some of you done to fight child maintenance when you've not agreed with it ?

We have ss more than 174 nights which categorised us in the 4th column of paying less than 100 and I could say we have him 50/50.However maintenance have to validate it to the other bio parent. Which they are denying and even lied to get it to increase.

Salary is also taken in consideration but you know when you're paying too much.


To quote StarLord - It's worse. It's so much worse.

blessedwithstress's picture

BOTH skids made homecoming court. SS16 is going to be a junior representative.


And now DH is p*ssed at ME for being p*ssed at the situation. He is asking for counseling. He said 'I refuse to do to the littles what I did with the bigs. Take that as a threat if you want but I REFUSE.' Meaning - he refuses to lose time with the little boys by being separated from them via divorce. 

DH can't understand why I harbor resentment toward the skids. "You've known them since they were little! I don't understand how you cannot be attached to them! It doesn't make sense!"


Another small victory

blessedwithstress's picture

Back in the day when DH and I first got married, he was paying BM in cash for everything. The bookkeeper in me put a stop to that and everything has been done with checks ever since for tracking purposes. Another thing I put a stop to? Handing over a wad of cash for school clothes every season. Instead of BM demanding a certain dollar amount, we started taking the kids shopping ourselves so that we could have more control over how our money was spent – plus it was nice to be able to help the kids pick stuff out and know what came from us.


Vibrating with stress

blessedwithstress's picture

DH switched jobs. Pay weeks are now opposite what they used to be and it’s really f*cking up my budget plan. Like, I literally have the shakes after trying to rearrange my budget spreadsheet so we can pay everything on time and not end up in the red week after week. We’re budgeted to the hilt and our credit cards are almost maxed. But I digress… In an effort to avoid blowups, I warned BM that we might have to double up on CS payments one week – meaning one payment would be a week late.


It's all about the money, honey

blessedwithstress's picture

Let me start by saying I’ve been blessed with pretty good SKIDs. I’ve known them since they were in preschool. They’ve never been malicious or openly disobedient. I have a feeling their BM has made nasty comments about their BD and I but if she has, it hasn’t affected their behavior toward us.


Now is it too much!

HangingInThere2's picture

A follow-up to my post earlier this week when my husband announced he plans to spend at least 4 days every month with his adult kids, for reference they discinclude me so I am not invited to be part of this time away.

He now is planning another 4 day trip to see them only 2 weeks after getting back from the last one. Starting to feel like a lot to deal with!


$100 for your thoughts

CLove's picture

Most of you are familiar, ut for newbies, heres the synopsis: I have 2 SDs, Toxic Feral SD20, and Munchkin SD12. Feral has moved into her mothers apartment last November. She has not had much contact with DH, except for a few texts here and there, since she turned 18, graduated high school, and left our house. After several years of her filth and disrespectful attitude I was ok with no contact, however I realize and understand that DH was affected. The upshot is that she is incrdibly toxic and hateful.


New Stepparent *HELP*

secondforthewin's picture

I'm new to this website and new to the world of step-parenting. I’m not married yet but in a very serious committed relationship with my SO. He has a 4 yr old with his ex-wife. I am driving myself crazy with the thought that child support has the possibility of increasing as our household grows financially for the next 14 years. I find myself jealous, angry, and most of all scared. Scared for the wellbeing of my potential future family’s financial wellbeing. When I bring it up with my SO he gets defensive and isolates himself emotionally.


Newsflash: DH Must Have Sportscar

StepUltimate's picture

... except I won't "let" him, even though he's willing to go into $100k debt for anything I want!

Yes folks, that is the arguement. I am ashamed I haven't already separated accounts because DH is obsessed with this sports car and watching numerous YouTube vids about it. It starts at like $55k and DH wants to trade in our almost paid off vehicle and finance the rest. Because, "we can afford it" BUT, if I want to separate accounts, then he CAN'T afford it.


No Birthday for You!

Iamwoman's picture

Last weekend was our skid weekend (we are EOW), and we had plans to have a small lunch on the porch before giving YSS10 his birthday gifts. He just turned 10, and given the epic double-digit b-day bash I threw for DD when SHE turned 10 long ago, I figured HCBM would be throwing YSS10 a big soiree for his leap into double-digit-dom. DH and I send HCBM $1000/month for skids, so you would think a party and some presents would be in order, right?

Nope. Nope. Nope.

Just when you think you've heard it all...