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The Revolving Door

Brooklynne's picture

Things couldn't be better at our house lately. SS and I have a great relationship, and we've been getting along fine. And once I decided to disengage from caring about BM's antics, life got even sweeter.

But, every once in awhile, she soooo gets to me, and this time it's not what has been done to me personally. It's about the decisions that she makes that affects SS. I think that she loves her children as much as she can possibly love anyone, and I don't think that she would intentionally hurt SS or his sister. But she doesn't think about how her choices affect them.

Her home is literally a revolving door of men coming in an out, and the kids are around to see every single one of them. They meet all the men that she brings home, and several of them she is seeing simultaneously, not one knowing about the other(s). Many of them aren't exactly stellar individuals (ex-con, ex-con, moocher, idiot, etc.)or their IQ's don't rise above room temperature. The continuous parade of bottom feeders that waltz through the door is astounding. She's been married twice since her and BF split up, and almost walked down the aisle for the 5TH time last year, but the guy wised up and split. She's only 32!!

It just breaks my heart when SS talks about how his mother has brought home yet another guy, and the nicest thing that he can say about them is "at least he's not a criminal." What do you say to that? He's told me that he's embarrassed that his mom dates so many men, and he wishes that she would find a nice guy to be with, like how his dad found someone nice (AWWWW. That made me feel really good.). The entire time that BF and I have been together, she's only dated one man that was even worth anything, and she found a way to ruin that. For SS's sake, I want her to find a nice guy and be happy, and in turn treat him well.

I told SS that sometimes it takes someone a little bit longer to find that special someone, and that when mom isn't looking, he'll fall right into her lap. That's how it happened with BF and I. I also told him that if he ever needed to talk, he could talk to daddy or me, and that we would always make time to listen to his concerns. He's not even 10 years old, and he takes a lot of adult worries upon himself (which is another thing that drives me insane about BM) because she involves him in adult issues. It's taken a lot of effort on BF's and my part to tell him to leave the adult stuff to the adults and just worry about being a kid!

Anyway, back to disengaging from BM's stoopidity! It's so hard sometimes to do so when your skid is hurting, and all you want to do is make things better for him.

Comments

KeepsGettingBetter's picture

My SS13 is like the man of the house at BM house. I'm sure BM loves her children as well but these woman just don't think. SS13s BM has had a few men come in and out of the skids lives as well, chopping and changing men whenever they feel like it. I'm more worried that these children are going to grow up think this is how relationships work. A couple of day here, a few months there and then on to the next number. I don't think BM's realise the effect their lives have on their children.
I have 3 skids, but when SS13 moved in with BF and I about 4 months ago, BM dismantled SS13 bed cause he was sharing a room with his younger brother, so now when SS13 visits BM he has to sleep on the couch and he has no bedroom , this made BF and I very pissed off for SS13.
BM only worries about herself and from what I’ve read on this site they are all the same.

disgusted's picture

Sounds like, yet another, woman who thinks with her vagina..I have always been disgusted by women who do this...When I was single I always kept my personal (romantic) life seperate from my family life..I never brought the men I dated home for my children to meet and they were never in my home when my children were present. In fact, a few men stopped dating me because I wouldn't "include" them into my life with my children or introduce them to my children...

I saw no reason to do so...We were not seriously dating...I wasn't looking to settle down, move in with anyone, get married..ect..It was just dating and well...an occasional friends with benefits to put it bluntly...DH was a different story because he was our neighbor when we met him and lived right across the hall from us so the kids knew him before we even started seeing each other..And even at that we kept it on the down low until we had both determined that we were "serious"...

It just makes me sick that women put their children through that and set such a poor example of what is and is not acceptable behavior.

In a perfect world their would be retroactive abortion capabilities.~ disgusted

Brooklynne's picture

of disengaging from what BM does. But it's sooo hard for me to disengage sometimes when he comes back from visiting her and he tells me these things. I don't care if she is dating the entire south side of town as long as she does it on her own time and doesn't involve her children in it. Is that too much to ask?