What the hell does she want?? Why can't he just let it go to voice mail???

"And this too shall pass..."

Have him put the phone on vibrate or silent, let it go to VM, if it's an emergency or something that your FDH actually needs to tend to, then he can return her call.

___________________________________________________________________________
“Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes; but no plans.”

If you answer and tell her that it will add more fuel to the fire. Its better off you leave it be. Hopefully it will pass. What is FH's reaction to the calling? How does he handle it?

I agree with midlemom here but that does not always work, ( trust me), BM kept calling his cell, or at his work, you name it- for just any stupid thing and of course, he always answered it until one time, it was her again, I looked at him and said, " wtf do you have to jump on her every call, or email for? Don't you know you look like you have zero balls?!"

Then.......it went to emails..( till I learned to hack his account, jk)

Answer the call and tell her he is busy kissing my ass, can you call back later? Make up something.....Then do like me and drop your own cell coverage and plead and plead until you get his...

( Stupid in FL)

" Youngwife2"!!!?

Oooooooo, you so think like me...( good one)lol

Fortunately, UberSkank doesn't call unless it's to tell him step-demon isn't coming over or that she needs extra money.

But when she does call.....it always goes to voicemail. Then DH decides if he's going to call her back, text her or email her. He prefers everything in writing so he doesn't have to listen to her whiney voice!

“Be like a duck. Calm on the surface, but always paddling like the dickens underneath.”
Michael Caine

"step-demon"- lolol- good one. I must remember that one. ty

I think it comes to the point where you have to realize that you can't control what BM does, you can't even control what DH does. The only control you have in the situation is your reaction to what is going on around you. You can ask DH to please tell BM not to call so frequently, you can ask DH to turn his phone off or on vibrate, but ultimately, he is the one who decides if that's something he wants to do. I think that confronting BM yourself will do more harm than good, if BM doesn't respect your relationship now, knowing that something she is doing is causing you grief, she will use it even more to her advantage.

IMO, the best solution for this situation, is to remove yourself from it. Don't inquire about the phone calls, busy yourself with something else in another room if he's on the phone with her, if you hear his phone ring don't ask who it is.

___________________________________________________________________________
“Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes; but no plans.”

I also agree with Middlemom. Its sad that we have to "ignore" our husbands in situations like these but its the best way. I have asked my DH not to involve me any more. I dont want to know when she calls, what she want, etc. This has come from nearly three years of DH b*tching about BM but never standing up to her, asking me for my advise and never taking it, etc. My DH tends to get a certain attitude when BM calls. He wont talk to her with me in the room so its pretty obvious when she calls but it works for me because it helps us avoid bickering about her. I just pretend that I dont notice

Don't you understand. She does it because she knows it will annoy you. And she's winning. Hey, let it go! Let him deal with it. When your guy gets fed up with it, he'll tell her. Just go with the flow on this one and don't let it bother you because that's exactly what she wants.

Purpleflower

My DH ex called all the time when she found out we were just dating bugging him for this and that, threatening to get her husband after my DH. Then when she found out we were married, she blew. She threatend to take ME to court for CHILD SUPPORT..lol..I still laugh at that one. And so on. I still have never met her face to face and have never talked to her not even once. She wanted me to go have coffee with her and I told DH no. My DH wanted me to as BM has the right to know who is around her children. Well excuse me but the bitch is an alcoholic partier..and she is worried about me? So still I refuse. She stopped. She knew she could not get to me and I know now it pisses her off that I don't get down and dirty with her because thats what she wants. I would not give her the satisfaction if it killed me.

Purpleflower

I answered the phone once when BM wouldn't stop calling. 3 times while we were at Disneyland... I finally answered and said "Is SS bleeding missing or dead?"

She was speechless because she didn't expect me to answer. She stumbled and stuttered... and finally said NO, I need to talk to DH...

IS SS BLEEDING MISSING OR DEAD?

No...

THEN STOP CALLING.

That took care of it for a while.

DISbelief~

~You have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy!~